Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

[Takemeback02]

I have been raising a disabled child 11 years now and the first 5 ish years I never really dealt with many issues regarding to the assistance she received or disability access.
the last 5 years has been a real struggle. Usually transport / theme parks etc

most recently 6 of us went on holiday abroad to a European destination, 2 disabled children who require a lot of extra care with very high medical needs and equipment. We always check the hotels first and we speak to before choosing one that works for us. We picked a hotel that offered reserved disabled Sun beds. We arrived and they offered us 6 ( same as whole party ) but we told them we only needed 3. We chose ones away from the kids sections and to the side of the main pool,
they were reserved everyday. They placed disabled badge stickers on the beds for the duration of our stay. I reckon there
was 3 days out of 10 where we didn’t have an issue with someone taking them. Most would move on once asked but have a little moan as they did it and a few who got obviously very upset.

one of the days was a nightmare, we were at the pool bar and physically saw a women tair off the disabled badge sticker and throw it on the ground. I put it back on before going to get the kids
changed and when I got back lady was on bed and had removed the sticker again and lobbed it on the floor.

I just feel the last few years there is an obvious difference in peopls
Tolerance for accessibility or has it always been this way ?

don’t get me wrong I know from the past actual accessibility had got far better but it just feels like it annoys people now.

I'm finding it's getting worse

Not surprising when British citizens in particular have spent the past 14 years being told the disabled are all work shy drains on the public purse and if they’d just do the decent thing and die, then everyone else would be better off.

There is very little empathy anymore .

I think sometimes people just aren’t aware if it’s not something they’re used to. I’ve never seen this before at hotels, although I wouldn’t just take the sunbeds with stickers on. Were there other sunbeds available?

I have a disabled DD and I’ve found that if people think you are getting something ‘better’ than them they get really angry. We went away recently and got taken through security etc quickly by the assistance team. People were furious. One woman pushed her child’s pushchair directly in front of DDs wheelchair to try and stop us going before her. Attitudes in this country to disabled people are atrocious.

There's definitely been a big decline in empathy for other people. There's a resounding vibe of "I'm alright, Jack". People are bothered about themselves, and less about anyone else.

That's probably coincided with your children growing up. I've got a friend who has a son with severe CP - she says when he was small, people went out of their way to talk to them and make sure they were included and okay, and as soon as he started looking older, people just seemed to find him a nuisance. She said about six was the turning point for them, but I think that's because he was very young looking so still passed for four at six.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I was on a packed bus once and there was a number with a child in a wheelchair. A man started having a go at her for not folding it up and creating more space.

I commented and gave him the death stare but was aghast at his lack of shame.

I would of dragged her off and chucked her in the pool.

Real accessibility has got a lot worse these past 20 years.

I think sadly there are a fair number of people who struggle with the idea that disability access to anything, be that a service, or education, or seating etc etc is not greater than what they themselves can access but is generally the bare minimum needed to assist those with disabilities access services that these same people don't even have to think about how to access.

I.e a 1-1 in school is not an advantage - it is often the only way some children can even begin to access the curriculum, but a shocking number of parents think its a ''perk''.

I think people have definitely become more assholey/entitled over the latest years in general.

The clockwork threads on buggies on buses being a barometer ...

Tolerance in general is on its way out.
Entitlement and victim hood are next level in today’s society.
I am sorry that you have to endure such bigotry and hope your daughter had a lovely holiday regardless of the ass holes you were unfortunate to encounter.

Sadly, I agree with this. Accessibility is ok as long as its the absolute bare minimum and it doesn't mean that anyone else has to be accommodating at all e.g. no ramps on shops if they "make the street look ugly," no moving cases from the wheelchair space on train because then the aisles are cluttered. I think mostly reminds people what rubbish conditions we all put up with - nevermind that the disabled have it a lot worse.

OP, I'd guess that women thought you were "using" a disability to get the best sunbeds, and ought to have been happy being tucked at the back out of sight. I hope it didn't spoil the holiday too much. It's great the hotel offered that service - should be standard.

Hardly surprising when for the past 14 years,we've had a Tory government hell bent on demonising the sick and disabled,and branding them as shirkers,fakers and layabouts.

Humans are just selfish and not very nice on the whole.

I also think part of the reason you're seeing more of it now is because your child is getting older so you're in different situations and people are less accommodating when it's not a young child.

This is also true, although I don't think the UK was exactly the promised land for disabled people 14 years ago either.

Yes this.

People think the adaptions and inclusions for disabled people mean they are getting something they aren't and it pisses them off 🙄

It has definitely got worse - I think since covid changed peoples attitudes.

Perhaps it’s because the amount of disabled children has increased that people have less patience when they encounter them.

I've found that it's got much worse since covid.
The number of times I and other disabled people have been blamed for lockdowns on this forum will tell you that.

It's so horrible that this is true 😔

I've noticed tolerance, sympathy and just plain courtesy have all gone down the shit hole in the last 5 years or so. I think social isolation (WFH, social media etc) and a government that has encouraged an "everyone for themselves" attitude are all partly to blame.

I think that the person who removed the disabled sticker is probably an extremely nasty piece of work who wouldn’t abide by any regulations if she could avoid it.

I have a disabled kid and I agree op people are not kind. I worked with SEND before I was a mother and there was lots more support and understanding it felt like then. But as others have said we have had a government who give out the message disability is a problem people are lazy and all that. Support services have all been cut. I would say hopefully it will get better now we have a new government but I think the old government was just a representation of what people really felt. They don't want money or resources going on anything they can't personally benefit from.

This thread has got me thinking.
I'm cabin crew and recently we carried a lovely lady on board who couldn't walk. She had no use of her legs at all and had to crawl to the toilet.

She had two carers with her.

I got chatting to her and found she'd spent a week in London on holiday.

I actually asked her about UK attitudes towards her and her disability.

Her reply?

London was absolutely amazing!!!

She was so impressed with our tubes and buses. Said everyone went out of their way to help her. Even down to tube stations showing whether or not they are wheelchair friendly by showing lifts or stair logos.

Theatres, restaurants, shops...she was so impressed!

She came from a Scandinavian country and said it wasn't just attitudes towards her there that were appalling, but facilities and lack of access to retail outlets, theatres etc were severely lacking.
As for public transport, she said she didn't use it but had to rely on her carers to drive her around!