Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

[Takemeback02]

I have been raising a disabled child 11 years now and the first 5 ish years I never really dealt with many issues regarding to the assistance she received or disability access.
the last 5 years has been a real struggle. Usually transport / theme parks etc

most recently 6 of us went on holiday abroad to a European destination, 2 disabled children who require a lot of extra care with very high medical needs and equipment. We always check the hotels first and we speak to before choosing one that works for us. We picked a hotel that offered reserved disabled Sun beds. We arrived and they offered us 6 ( same as whole party ) but we told them we only needed 3. We chose ones away from the kids sections and to the side of the main pool,
they were reserved everyday. They placed disabled badge stickers on the beds for the duration of our stay. I reckon there
was 3 days out of 10 where we didn’t have an issue with someone taking them. Most would move on once asked but have a little moan as they did it and a few who got obviously very upset.

one of the days was a nightmare, we were at the pool bar and physically saw a women tair off the disabled badge sticker and throw it on the ground. I put it back on before going to get the kids
changed and when I got back lady was on bed and had removed the sticker again and lobbed it on the floor.

I just feel the last few years there is an obvious difference in peopls
Tolerance for accessibility or has it always been this way ?

don’t get me wrong I know from the past actual accessibility had got far better but it just feels like it annoys people now.

I don’t recognise this London AT ALL.

It’s a fucking nightmare to navigate in a wheelchair- tube maps that don’t show which stations are accessible, taxis that can’t use their ramps, constantly getting smacked in the face by bags or being stepped over or jostled out of the way, terrible pavements, blocked or non existent dropped curbs, station staff who tut and swear about having to get the ramp out etc.

Its basically has all the same problems as the rest of the country, except it’s worse because it’s so busy.

I preferred pre-booking and lower numbers in COVID. But, I understand that is not necessarily sustainable for businesses, who often gave high overheads - and are often held to the whims of the British weather.

Queue access passes have to be booked in advance (certainly for Merlin attractions). I'm not sure if they have a limited number or not, but the park will have an idea of how many people are coming on a day ahead of time.

Disabled tickets are often limited at venues, especially for events like concerts.

Yes, I hear you, I am typing this from the comfort of a ‘wheelchair accessible’ hotel room. The door opening is blocked by a full length mirror hanging behind it, there are two chairs and a coffee table blocking the path at the foot of the bed, I had to ask for them to be removed. To manoeuvre my wheelchair into the room I had to ask for someone to move the bed sideways on and push it against the wall under the window.
there’s a step into the hotel from outside.
fucking wheelchair accessible my arse

You absolutely can get PIP for "just" mobility issues. You can get the mobility component at the standard or enhanced rate if you meet the criteria.

People also lack the empathy for disabled people because they themselves are suffering, be it the rising mental health issues, cost of living etc. Even here on mumsnet someone will vent about their disability and be told that everyone else has struggles too so they should pipe down.

The problem is that disabled people are not exempt from that too, we don't magically have no other struggles because our disability has fulfilled the struggles quote. We have other life issues too and then disability on top of it.

It's awful that you were treated like that. It would still be awful if we were talking about adults with completely invisible disabilities but how anyone can treat children with obvious disabilities with anything other than kindness, consideration and respect is beyond me.

Personally, I don't think it matters at all if something is given for accessibility or as compensation/perk. If it's the latter, so what? It's nice that there might be a tinier brighter spot in the day of someone whose day is probably harder than most people's.

I know a little boy who has T1 Diabetes. He can skip queues in theme parks and at airports (or at least he could - from this thread it sounds like things might have got stricter very recently). Another child asked him why he 'has to' skip the queue and he replied 'I don't have to, I get to - diabetes perk!' I wanted to applaud him. He said it so confidently and without embarrassment - and why should he be embarrassed? The other children wouldn't want to have to be constantly thinking about their levels and self adjusting constantly throughout the day. If a small concession can make his day a bit easier or a bit more fun then wtf not! [obviously, his reply was simplistic. The nature of T1 Disabetes does clearly mean that long queues, especially around mealtimes or in hot temperatures, wouldn't be easy].

This. People are just less tolerant and much ruder, I’m not suprised disabled people are finding themselves getting the brunt of it.

Of course the child in question should not be embarrassed about his condition, but I would be wary of classing concessions, or adjustments as a "perk".

Absolutely yes. Disabled people are not a monolith and indeed do have other struggles, and layers that they have to cope with in life, such as racism, and transphobia, which are increasing imo.

"equalities and diversity" don't seem to include disability at all. There was a brief period when employers, etc paid a bit of attention but they really don't bother any more.

A friend works for the CAB and her colleague has physical disabilities and health ones. The colleague is unable to use the toilets in the building they work in and has to leave the building to find one that is properly accessible for her. They also refuse to make any accommodations for her difficulties in accessing other buildings she is forced to travel to (a simple re-jigging of the roster would do it) and her boss tells her "That's your job..."

Well logically, the service provider has the right to decide what level of accomodation they can provide. Even the law says 'reasonable' accomodation not 'every single thing being asked for, without proof'.
Of course it's none of other people's business.

The other thing is, as you pointed out, disabled people are not a homogenous mass. Especially with mental health issues, neurodiversity etc at least 20% of the population have a disability of some sort. Varying in severity. And they can also be selfish, take advantage , be ableist etc etc. a similar minority as those in the able bodies population.

It's always going to be a negotiation based on a balance of needs. Some things are obvious and some aren't.

I mentioned BB abuse drops when parking is paid for not to be all complacent in a "so that's OK then" manner, which is what society does.

I mentioned it, because it is a very simple illustration of the sort of cuntery that disabled people are subject to every waking minute. The sort of fucking lowlife scummy cunt who would abuse a provision for the less able for a few quid.

Bit confused - so you mean, when parking is paid for, less people who aren't allowed park in the disabled spaces?
It could be that free parking is more limited in general. You'd have to compare two car parks with a similar design, layout etc except that one was paid for and one wasn't.

There are lots of examples of really awful, shocking behaviour towards disabled people on this thread, including in the OP. None of that is ok.

I haven't personally seen anything like that. I have seen people getting impatient with talk about non-visible disabilities, especially in adults. I have to admit, even I do an internal eye-roll when some people I know talk about "my anxiety", because TBH they're self-diagnosed attention-seekers.

I do notice that on all the threads as well - that it gets turned in nuero diversity and the subject is always around that. Neither of the girls are disabled due to autism / adhd etc

People who have anxiety at levels that affect their lives, receive scant sympathy, from what I have seen.

There was an extremely ableist thread about anxiety the other day and I reported it and I got a reply something along the lines of "we think interesting points are being made so we are leaving this up" The OP both in terms of poster behaviour and post content was unacceptable, MN is often a poor judge of what ableism actually is.

Bit confused - so you mean, when parking is paid for, less people who aren't allowed park in the disabled spaces?

Exactly that ! Don't want to shell out £2.50 to park for an hour ? "Borrow" nans blue badge and whack it on the dashboard as you skip to the shops. Meanwhile five seconds behind you is someone who without that space has to go back home and count the squares on the wallpaper for another day.

Now I may be old, and out of touch. And probably a little bit fuddy duddy when it comes to trying to help those less able than myself - it's all a bit dull isn't it ? But despite having a vocabulary well beyond what I need - in a few languages - the best word for the sort of person who would save £2.50 by abusing a Blue Badge is cunt. If anyone else wants to defend them and call them a hero, or social warrior that's their choice.

What was the thread?

I think it's multiple things.
As kids get older people become less understanding of disabilities unless they are visibly very severe.
Even then, some people are just complete arseholes with no empathy (such as the man who told my aunt that she shouldn't bring "someone like that" (her son with CP) out in public)
There are more arseholes around post-Covid and people are generally less tolerant.
Service levels are down and prices are up everywhere so people are in scarcity mode, they don't see a service shared, but something being taken from them.
Sometimes people can genuinely just not realise times have changed - 20 years ago the access passes for Disney were exclusively for kids in wheelchairs because their queues were not accessible. Now it's the reverse, but if they see able-bodied kids "jumping the queue" when people with wheelchairs are queuing they think something is wrong, or someone is taking the piss.

That's appalling. I'm so sorry that you had that experience.

Yes but you'll get deleted for mentioning that. Like I did.

I'm neurodivergent ironically but I've started dissociating from that community because I've got bigger problems than being ND to be honest. God forbid you should ever mention that though.

People tend to be less tolerant of those who they perceive to have "more" than them, be it economically or in terms of education, societal support.

This means that if they see someone who they already consider "privileged" compared to their own circumstances receiving something that they too would benefit from then they may feel aggrieved.

It might seem strange that people could envy refugees fleeing their country, or someone with a disability, but to those who are poorly educated or lacking in intelligence, the simple fact that the refugee has a smartphone or the person with a disability a nice car is enough for them to classify them as " better off then me" and therefore start resenting any help given.

Do you know what , i actually agree with this. When we visit london with our adult daughter in a wheelchair , with learning difficulties, i have found people to be really helpful and friendly . We use the buses mostly from a base in East London, everyone is so helpful. We go to the theatre and are looked after very well. We visit european countries fairly regularly, france in particular, and find attitudes there can be somewhat backwards. Eg the word handicapped is common, makes me cringe rather.
Back home in scotland I find people often offer help , thank you to the staff at the JLS concert at the castle this week , so inaccessible but they’d thought of everything to make sure we got there! Particularly the lovely lady on duty in the pouring rain at the convoy road . So cheerful.

I really don't think mentioning neurodiversity is why that post got deleted.