Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

[Takemeback02]

I have been raising a disabled child 11 years now and the first 5 ish years I never really dealt with many issues regarding to the assistance she received or disability access.
the last 5 years has been a real struggle. Usually transport / theme parks etc

most recently 6 of us went on holiday abroad to a European destination, 2 disabled children who require a lot of extra care with very high medical needs and equipment. We always check the hotels first and we speak to before choosing one that works for us. We picked a hotel that offered reserved disabled Sun beds. We arrived and they offered us 6 ( same as whole party ) but we told them we only needed 3. We chose ones away from the kids sections and to the side of the main pool,
they were reserved everyday. They placed disabled badge stickers on the beds for the duration of our stay. I reckon there
was 3 days out of 10 where we didn’t have an issue with someone taking them. Most would move on once asked but have a little moan as they did it and a few who got obviously very upset.

one of the days was a nightmare, we were at the pool bar and physically saw a women tair off the disabled badge sticker and throw it on the ground. I put it back on before going to get the kids
changed and when I got back lady was on bed and had removed the sticker again and lobbed it on the floor.

I just feel the last few years there is an obvious difference in peopls
Tolerance for accessibility or has it always been this way ?

don’t get me wrong I know from the past actual accessibility had got far better but it just feels like it annoys people now.

I meant Florida. You are going to need proof next year.

I complained to reception when parents collecting children kept parking in disabled spaces. They were obviously told off and now whenever we park there one parent in particular glares at me.
When we last travelled abroad the staff had to ask a woman to move from the blue badge seats by the gate where people getting assisted travel can sit. She argued back with the staff, until they threatened her with not being able to board. Then she got off looking furious.

I think the meteoric rise in ADHD and/or autism diagnoses, the appearance and popularity of sunflower lanyards, and the emergence of long covid in recent years, all with associated perceived unique needs, may be a factor.

When Birmingham started charging for BB parking, abuse fell overnight.

They did a number on several vulnerable groups of Society unfortunately, and used them as an excuse for why the Country is in a mess.

I think there is a lack of understanding for people with physical disabilities, even amongst people with other disabilities. My DP uses a wheelchair. I have lost count of the amount of times we have went out with people who say they are disabled, use a mobility scooter or power chair, and when DP says they can not dance or walk far they agree they are the same. Then later in the night after a few drinks they are dancing away. They say they will pay for it the next day, but they can do it. My DP physically can not, ad they always seem surprised when they realise that.

It is very easy to get BB parking in my city now they charge for it. But we do not have much money and it limits what we can do. If we were both more mobile we could park further away much cheaper and walk. But we can not.

Nah, people who get competitive about who has the worst disability are twats. Everyone with a disability is struggling, other disabled folks aren’t your enemy.

@SerendipityJane and we do not get PIP. You do not get PIP if your only issue is physical mobility. So we can not even use that to pay for the costs.

A really wise poster upthread did predict that threads like this turn into disability top trumps.

Maybe we can all win a prize ?

@SerendipityJane I did not say my disability is worse. I was calling out those who play top trumps. And it is very common online amongst people with neurodiversity.

It's because the political party's are trying to blame the disabled for the economy

Really? Have you looked at a PIP form then?

Its because people are blamed for being physically disabled. They must not have taken enough exercise, or eaten properly, or be too fat. My DP uses a wheelchair and people assume all kind of causes. I am disabled and people assume it is knees or hip deterioration and thus my own fault - it is not.
Less children are born physically disabled so fewer people have much knowledge of physical disabilities. It is why amputees are treated better by the public. They are not blamed.

@LadyKenya applied with help from CAB and appealed.

Ok@Melisha . It is possible to get PIP because of poor mobility alone though.

Yep, this.

Less thoughtful, less aware and yes, less tolerant.

My DP said to me today, on the way to the dentists, he doesn't understand why I am so anxious about going out now.

We arrived at the dentists...

The accessible parking space is such that my ramp opens down a steep gravelly slope with a slight camber to the left, so coming backwards off that ramp feels like I am going to tip the chair over and fall out.

The ramp up to the dentists door is narrow. One half of the double doors opens across that ramp so is shut as I approach.

I doubted my ability to get through the single door so asked for someone to open it - I have to line up very carefully (90degree left turn to face the door) as behind me is a set of steps leading directly to the door. Going backwards off these would be very dangerous.

Then I sit and wait 10 minutes whilst various reception staff come and fiddle with various keys to unlock the other half of the double doors which it turns out, they can't do. It isnt the same key for the door that is open, they don't appear to have a key and admit they have in fact never unlocked it.

Fortunately (as I am at this point on the verge of tears) I did manage to get through the single door - mm to spare either side.

Then I sat and wondered if I'd fit into a treatment room... again, yes, JUST...

I had emailed this dentists to explain I am a wheelchair user, its a large chair, I'd need various things, could they accomodate that. They said yes, no bother.

They will undoubtedly not remember how embarrassing and awkward this morning was for me once I'd left. It won't figure, they won't be aware of how scary access is from their accessible parking spot, it won't have crossed their mind that their toilet is not accessible (it isn't, I did look).

And they are not ACTIVELY being awful. They think they meet the basic standards, they think they are accessible.

My DP now understands why I am so anxious about every day things outside my own home, where I am in control.

I think it seems to have got worse post Covid. That seems to have made a lot of people a lot more self centred sadly

I can't say whether or not it's getting worse. But I have to say parenting forums in general have really opened my eyes to how much prejudice there still is towards disabled people. I naively used to think that nowadays, virtually no one would need educating on disability rights. But there are so many threads proving otherwise, particularly when it comes to prams on buses. I've even seen at least four posts calling wheelchair users selfish for getting the bus unless they absolutely have to, because "there might be a mum with a buggy who needs that space more". Absolutely no one would tell an able-bodied person that they were selfish for getting the bus to the shops or to a friend's house, because someone might come along who needs their seat to go to a doctor's appointment. There's a bizarre expectation that disabled people should be on constant alert that somewhere out there, there might be an able-bodied person whose needs trump theirs - yet no one expects able-bodied people to think "How can I make this place more accessible in case a wheelchair user arrives?" whenever they go anywhere.

Your post makes intolerance sound like the result of a media conspiracy. When actually it's down to the very real erosion of service levels. It's not a scarcity 'mindset' it's actual scarcity. Not being "survival level' doesn't reduce the effects.

A reserved parking spot or queue jumping doesn't matter if there's plenty of other parking or reasonable queuing times. Because the disabled people aren't perceived as getting anything 'special'.

Things are getting more and more expensive/effort intensive but of worse quality. Again this isn't something fuelled by the media , it's actually happening.

YANBU OP.

I agree- but I was trying to balance explaining the mindset without saying it’s justified.

I agree with some others that say it's possibly partly due to the huge increase in invisible disabilities and the amount of perceived "special" accommodations that don't always look/ appear necessary. And to be honest, aren't always necessary. And that some of the accommodations do now seem to be viewed as compensation rather than necessary.

It used to be few people that used the access queues at theme parks. But now they're often so long that the people that really need them still can't use them. And yes there are people that use them even when not needed. My friend has a son with autism. Those queue jump passes were vital when he was young. He's now a teenager and can wait. He doesn't like it. But he can. But she still gets them for him. And then obviously the rest of the family/ friends can queue jump as well. She even refuses to go to places that don't give you unlimited queue jumps all day as its "not worth it if we have to stand waiting all day".

I also once witnessed an argument at disney where a family wanted to queue jump as their daughter was in a wheelchair. It was explained to them that the queue was fully wheelchair accessible. But they weren't happy they couldn't jump the queue. Why did they need to jump it if the only issue was a wheelchair? (Obviously no I don't know all the medical details of this child. I'm only going by the argument I could hear).

I go to an event a few times a year that involves lots of queuing. They do queue jump access passes. My husbands friend gets one. Her reason? She's got hearing loss in one ear. I honestly can't see why someone with hearing loss needs to jump a queue.

I've mentioned this on here before that I've seen people in the accessible queue at thorpe park wait over an hour extra for a ride that broke down with no issues. Again I know people are going to say "well you don't know what happened later" and no obviously I don't. But I do think these issues are why people are getting less accommodating. They wait 2 hours with their child who's getting irritable and watch others jump the queue who don't seem to have a huge amount of issues waiting.

It's sad really. As the amount of people with disabilities increase its only going to get worse for those that really need adjustments and who struggle.