To feel angry at how few people make a plan for their own old age

[OptimismvsRealism]

We are all going to end up in a bad way unless we're lucky enough to drop down dead unexpectedly

Why do most people live in denial?

Yes, but there is a good saying: expect the worst, hope for the best and take what comes. On average, most people won't get MND. And 97.5% of people over 65 stay in their own homes. That 2.5% will no doubt be heavily composed of the over 80s. Planning if its possible, is a smart move but I get that many people can't and can only live for the moment.

It's not absurd -

You should have the basics in place as soon as you are an adult

Accidents and illness and death are more likely as you get older but can affect anyone

But the additional shock of a young person dying and the additional difficulty if they haven't made a will, when there may be additional problems like children mean it's more important to have things made as simple as possible

And the savings you need to make need to start now , not a some later date when you feel you have spare

I think a lot of people ignore it and don't realise the reality of it until it's too late.

I especially think it's selfish for parents of only children to not have at minimum a will/LPA and paid funeral plan in place.

Neither of my parents had planned for old age/retirement (they are divorced). I am an only child.

Luckily my mum has received an inheritance, with more to come. I will happily look after her as much as I possibly can as she raised me by herself and worked bloody hard to give me everything growing up. As much as she is a spender, life hasn't been too kind for her. She was always there for me when I was young, so i will be there for her in old age. She has a will and an LPA in place as of this month.

My dad on the otherhand, was a disney dad, cruel to my mum, took the house from her , disappeared often, had £££ , blew it spending and traveling and deciding he couldn't hold down a job for longer than a year. No wife or girlfriend as he's a miserable woe is me sod. No longer owns a house due to his down financial stupidity, despite previously owning several large properties!

I won't be helping him in old age as he's had plenty of opportunities and great pension opportunities through all of his jobs he decided not to keep. He's now on benefits for depression and has a council house at least. 🙄

DH mum also has no retirement plan/house/savings....🙄Despite being abusive, she assumes DH and BIL will look after her in retirement which isn't happening. (She's Korean where this is normal).

Me (31) and DH (38) have already started our retirement plan/goals. We have life insurance and critical illness cover. We worked hard to get our detached house, and build up our nest egg of savings. I am pregnant, and we won't be sacrificing our family life/money/sanity for the sake of the two irresponsible parents who had the means/opportunity to plan for it. It's already playing on our minds and our parents are in their late 50's and already talking about being tired/ill/being old etc.

Maybe that's harsh, and we'd feel differently if we had loving/supportive parents growing up.

Only possible for the property rich. Assisted living, 8K/ month/person, maybe less for 2 with a shared flat.

OP, are you seriously suggesting poorer, old people commit suicide?

A lot more people could save, they just choose to spend instead. Abroad holidays, dinners and night outs, branded food or clothes, etc. Of course we need to live but we don’t need everything right away. I suspect that a good number of people who can’t afford to save have a flight booked this summer for example.

That’s the percentage of over 65s in a care/nursing home at any one time, not the percentage who will need a nursing home/care home at some time. I can’t find the figure for the UK, but 39% of women in Australia will end up in a care home, and the figure for the US is nearer 60%.

I doubt that @OptimismvsRealism thinks that.

However, if you think it through it will (by default) be mostly the poor who are euthanised whilst the well off live comfortably in their later years.

It’s easier as an only. Siblings rarely share the load equally and rarely agree on what should be done.

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, as with anything in life you don’t know until it happens

@MereDintofPandiculation That is nit the case in the UK unless self funded. You have to be in a bad way for the state to fund a care home.

@MereDintofPandiculation absolutely! My sister was worse than my parents in obstructing the provision of proper care for them. Awful.

My plan is a large bottle of wine and a lot of tablets unless I win the lottery 🤷‍♀️

????? I don't think I've said anything about the state funding a care home. Which post of mine are you replying to?

I would like it to be possible to painlessly kill myself if I decide old age is too much for me (hoping for another 20 years yet though). Guess it will have to be pills, booze and bag on the head as I can't afford dignitas.

They should spend everything they've got while they can enjoy it.

That literally contradicts what you say, spending all your money whilst you can is not saving for your old age, is it?

That's a pretty unpleasant thought.

As if it was that easy OP!
My mum is mid 70s, worked as a nurse for the NHS for 45 years, retired at 70 after getting cancer, got paid peanuts, crap pension. Unfortunately she didn't have a crystal ball to make plans for the brain hemorrhage she had at 47, or that she wouldn't be able to work for over a year ormy dad leaving her as a single parent, or having cancer.

I live abroad now and I can tell you there are better countries out there, with better systems, better pension provision, more support for those who need it and if you really want to blame someone look at the government.

I don't believe anywhere has adequate care. Everywhere is the same when you're senile.

'Senile' is no longer an acceptable term for older people. This thread is horribly ageist. It is perfectly possible - common, even - to be fit and healthy and in great shape cognitively in one's 70s and 80s. There was a thread about it recently, where posters chipped in with stories of relatives in their 90s who live independent and fulfilled lives.

What business is it of yours exactly @OptimismvsRealism ?

It’s really none of your business OP

if you really want to blame someone look at the government
I agree with this from@Holyaperoli it's the government who set the parameters within which we all have to operate, try and make things work etc

Well you might not believe it @OptimismvsRealism but google can help you with that. Pretty easy to find the statistics out there, pension expenditure per person varies from country to country as does healthcare. I'm in Switzerland and quality of life, health care, social welfare are much better than the UK.

I think there are potential problems coming down the line for only children of older parents (if the parents do not make adequate plans for old age, which realistically would involve saving a lot of money to pay for care). It's going to put an awful lot of pressure on young adults (probably in their 30s) to be looking after elderly parents whilst possibly trying to start or look after their own family and battling with whatever the future has to bring too.