Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

healthcare and guns would be top two
racism/trump
women's rights
children growing up there can be exposed to a much narrower world view (depending on school but most Americans know frighteningly little about the world)

The fear of getting shot makes Americans act crazy imo. The traffic stops of police screaming, people getting killed for using a person’s driveway etc. It’s madness to me. I can’t live with that underlying tension/fear. Seems unbearable.

The US seems a lot more insular also.

The US suffered many losses in WW2.

As did many countries. Soldiers fought bravely, including my uncle. I can’t imagine what it was like for young US soldiers so far from home.
However, whilst we’re grateful we should please get our facts straight.
The US didn’t fight for nothing and the UK didn’t finish paying the huge sums you demanded until December 2006. 7.5 billion dollars.
And you joined the war only after you came under attack yourselves.

Oh, another one of these. It'd be nice if people had experience with the USA before talking about it.

Do you all know just how much gun violence varies by place? It is astounding to watch middle class white women act like a problem that is incredibly class, race, and geographically biased is going to affect them the same way as it does Black people in the delta or West Baltimore.

Also, for decades the UK ignored women's reproductive rights in NI and they still don't have full access.

By the way this is by state alone, not even within states.

www.statista.com/statistics/1380025/us-gun-violence-rate-by-state/#:~:text=As%20of%202024%2C%20Mississippi%20was,out%20of%20all%20the%20states.

I would find driving roads like this very depressing.

Well, you don't have to. Not if you're living in the NYC or Boston suburbs, for example.

The abortion act was 1967, Roe vs Wade was 1973.

Please don't tell us that it's only poor black children being shot like that makes it ok.

As I said above Connuticut and upstate New York are beautiful and far away from a lot of the social problems with relatively cheap real estate and great schools, I wouldn't rule it out. Also it is possibly futher from Missisipi than it is from London ( both geographically and culturally) however unfortunately you will have the same president.....

Yes, these threads always bring out the ignorant and downright stupid. 😠

We keep being told about the wonderful British education system - if most of these posters are an example of it then I'm less than impressed.

If you're in the NYC suburbs:
The schools are good.
Gun culture is not like the South.
There are cute towns with the train into the city.
Abortion is 100% legal and guaranteed in the New York state constitution. People come from elsewhere to get abortions in New York, and did even before 2022, because the laws were so much easier and there's lots of clinics. (This is partly because New York legalised abortion in 1970.)
If you're in the more affluent suburbs people are really pretty cosmopolitan and lean more liberal.

It IS expensive though. No two ways about it.

Also while starting holiday allowance is awful, you can negotiate for more and people do. My husband now gets 4 weeks (effectively more, because all his PTO is in a single bank, so if he doesn't use his sick time he can take it as vacation or it carries over). For things like that everything depends on the package and you really have to look it over carefully.

No, you completely took the wrong point from that. The point is not that it's okay if it's poor Black people. The point is that acting like the risk to a well off white expat in the Northeast is the same is what's wrong and reflects a lack of knowledge about the situation. It's very frustrating to see people act like they'll be shot on the streets of suburbia while not acknowledging who really faces that risk.

I agree, we have family and friends in NYC ( with weekend places upstate).

I think the point some Americans are missing is that some Brits have moral objections to living in a society that if not condones doesn't unequivocally condemn what is going on elsewhere. No matter how comfortable or far removed from that their own lives might be.

As a society we are less comfortable with stark social and economic inequalities. Not that we don't have them, but guns ( even on the holsters of NYC police on the subway) is something we will always struggle with. I hope that helps.

Well said. I was going to also mention the can do attitude of Americans, as opposed to the can't do attitude of the Brits, who seem to think everything should be handed to them on a plate, they should get more and more holidays/time off work, and that the government is responsible for everything wrong in their lives. Many of them come across as downright lazy. The crowded housing and weather would also be a massive turn-off for me. Americans as a whole seem to be more polite and friendly - and they don't whine about every little thing!

I don't live in either country - but I know which one I would rather move to.

It does -- I'm British. It's just frustrating to me as someone who has lived in both countries that people trot out stereotypes and assumptions that don't reflect a very multifaceted and complex reality. I've also come to realise after moving abroad that in many ways the British are similar: so many people don't want to recognise things that are really wrong in the UK, like the appalling treatment of disabled people, the poor, and children. Both countries are far more alike in some respects than we want to acknowledge.

You..do realize that America is an enormous country? Roads like that are the exception not the rule. It's pretty clear that your mind is made up that Americans are all fast food obsessed gun nuts when that's not the reality at all, and I live in a red state. But it's been a few days sense we had a bash America thread so for to keep up the numbers.

I have absolutely been in places that have loads of those commercial strips. But there's a great deal that's regionally variable, including planning and development. If you compared Boston to Phoenix, the only thing that would convince you that it's the same country is having some of the same chains. But same for the UK really, there's not those strips, but there's certainly anonymous out-of-town retail parks located off a dual carriageway. Certainly no charm and no easy access.

My brother married over there and went to live in California about 12 years ago. He had no kids and said it's not safe to raise children. He said it's not safe anywhere. The police are not safe. He said you don't want to get pulled over by the police and if you do, do exactly what they say. Guns everywhere. Healthcare insurance required. Earthquakes. Coyotes so no outdoor pet cats. Hard to get a job unless you're American. Good is expensive (but far better quality) That's what he told me.

Oh and racism is a problem.

I've spent a lot of time in upstate NY because I used to live about 40 minutes from the border. There are certainly beautiful places there and I have loved spending time there. However, many of the small towns way upstate are poverty ridden and scary. I don't go there anymore because it is even worse after the advent of Trumpism. It's sad to see the hopelessness in people's eyes. You can feel their anger and sometimes their malevolence. I haven't gone since 2017 because of this. This is what would stop me from taking a job anywhere in rural or small town America. In the cities the Trumpy creepiness isn't as evident.

No doubt this is true, because it's true everywhere. It's the level of it that makes the difference in terms of quality of life.

They add sugar to their butter 😯

California is a huge state. "Not safe to raise children"?

I will say (as someone with 3 cats) that coyotes are an issue in a bunch of the US, not to mention cars, and there is a big push to keep cats indoors. It's become a fairly big cultural difference in pet care. You really don't want to let the cat out here. Some of the birds are big enough to attack cats, too.

I don't know where you heard this, but regular butter is butter. You can buy honey butter. It's labelled that way.

I assume people saying the food do not live in the U.K. 😂 I am thinking of average restaurants but also things like fruit or vegetables . Even in next door Lillle they start to get better.

Omg the delicious avocados I had in Cali or the gorgeous spring rolls and ramen I had in NY and comparing it with the horrible ones I had here.

In short you may not like the US f but do not try to change it. Some of us prefer not to be old, cold and poor. Just saying. It is a big country with a bit of everything so some of the comments are a bit naive or ignorant.