To think that kids on a residential should be allowed a couple of phone calls

[ftmni]

Im not saying they should bring their phones, but a quick check in call with mum?

My dd is away on a school trip, a few of the mums who haven't sent their kids to it have said its because of the risk of SA.

To be totally honest i have these scary scenario thoughts every now and again, as much as i try not to, but that wasnt one until they said it. So now add that to my anxiety list!

But from a safety point of view, should they not be allowed to phone? Perhaps with a password that is only ever to be used in absolute emergencies.

I don't know just a thought.

Interested to know what others think

No experience of residential stays but I did take my nieces away a couple of times a year from when the eldest was 5. Every evening my brother phoned so she could speak to her Mum & Dad. We literally had to sit her down and put the phone in her hand and tell her to talk. She was too busy doing other things

After the 2nd night she said rather exasperated 'Really Auntie Kedece I don't need to speak to them every night'

She didn't. She was having a ball. They missed her far more than she missed them and the phone calls were for them not her.

Imagine the chaos replicating that for 40 kids. They're quite right to ban phones. The kids will be fine and loving being away in a parent free zone

I remember going on a residential trip at middle school and being perfectly fine until I had a phonecall with my mum and bursting into tears at the sound of her voice. My DD went on a residential with no phonecalls and had a brilliant time

I agree that pupils benefit from time away from screens.

Having attended residentials with pupils I know that contact with parents can be very unsettling for children. I don’t think children are at heightened risk of SA, in fact they are closely supervised and, in my experience, staff are very watchful for it whilst respecting pupils’ privacy.

Overall residential trips are a fantastic experience for pupils and staff - it gives pupils an opportunity for many new experiences and to build bonds with their peers and teachers, whilst the teachers get to know pupils in a new situation.

My dd went in year 4 and was so homesick, i found out afterwards that she had been crying and wanted to talk to me but they didn't let her.

I think it depends on the child but I think my dd would've felt a lot more settled if she could've called me.
She has got the opportunity to go on another one in year 5 and then Paris in year 6 but doesn't want to do either now because of the no contact rule.

Phoning home is likely to make kids homesick. They definitely won't be thinking about you as much as you think about them! They're having an exciting adventure, and will be too busy to miss you. Schools know what they're doing. Residential trips have happened for years. Of course they will contact you in an emergency. Don't over think it.

Not wishing to worry the OP in any way but my DB did disclose in later life seeing "SA" from a teacher in these circumstances.

In the mid 1970s, when he was in the equivalent of what is now Year 6, they went on an educational cruise on the SS Uganda to Norway and Denmark.

One evening, the male teacher who was accompanying the party took several photos of various boys while they were undressed, getting ready for bed and got them to pose. The girls were in a separate sleeping area.

My DB recalled that he even wrote about this in his journal (they were all supposed to keep a daily journal) but nothing got picked up from that.

I don't know what happened to that teacher but I do remember that he was also in the choir at the local cathedral and in charge of some of the choir boys (and yes, back then, it was all boys). Still to this day, I worry about what he may have got up to.

Totally agree that phone calls are more likely to prompt or worsen homesickness. I think no phones is very much the right thing (unless older and given time to go off in small groups without a teacher).

It's sad that the worry about SA has put people off such valuable experiences. I'm a teacher and have been on many residential trips. Students are typically in rooms in groups. It is unusual to see a kid individually unless they have a problem (and even then, in my experience they have usually been accompanied by a friend), and there are often strategies to minimise one-to-one situations here as well e.g. staff sitting in communal area until late so that students can go there if there's an issue rather than knocking on the door of a teacher's room.

Edited for clarification!

They haven’t sent their kids on a school trip because of the risk of sexual assault!? Where are they going? Why do they think it is a risk? I have never heard of that before.

@Another2Cats in the past practices allowed this more. Teachers would be alone with children in dorms with closed doors. Now the guidelines are totally different.

Absolutely.

I'm a scout leader and we ban phones from a lot of camps as they are a nightmare.

This

And this

How unbelievably sad that children are being prevented from experiencing the fantastic adventure of a school trip because of their fear of SA.

It's for your benefit.

If a residential trip allowed children to have their mobile phones all the time, I would be worried. Far too high a risk of photos being taken when children are undressing or asleep in bed. Or filming of children struggling doing adventure activities later used to bully them.

My sister ran a guide camp with ano phone rule. She woke up at 3 in the morning hearing tent zips opening and closing. When she went out to look she could see an adult creeping from tent to tent.
She freaked out, grabbed a knife and went to confront him while her colleague phoned the police.
It was a dad. His daughter had smuggled her phone in, woken up and felt homesick so phoned home. Dad had raced to rescue her but got there to realise he didn’t know which tent she was in.
If the kid hadn’t had a phone it wouldn’t have happened. The thing that everyone worries about (random man in tent) happened precisely because the kid could phone home whenever she wanted!

And if they allow it for one they have to allow it for all...

Maybe try and work with her to address her anxiety? Although there is no rule that they HAVE to go. Residentials aren't for everyone

It’s so hard when dc go away on trips! They’ll be having a great time & anxious mums like me will be worrying.
When mine go away, I scour the school Facebook pages incase there is a glimps of my dc.

It’s not hard at all. My DD is away with the school this week. She will be fine. The staff are brilliant and she has her friends with her too. It’s not healthy to be so anxious and could affect your child. You need to find strategies to manage how you feel.

What Wolfie said.