To think that kids on a residential should be allowed a couple of phone calls

[ftmni]

Im not saying they should bring their phones, but a quick check in call with mum?

My dd is away on a school trip, a few of the mums who haven't sent their kids to it have said its because of the risk of SA.

To be totally honest i have these scary scenario thoughts every now and again, as much as i try not to, but that wasnt one until they said it. So now add that to my anxiety list!

But from a safety point of view, should they not be allowed to phone? Perhaps with a password that is only ever to be used in absolute emergencies.

I don't know just a thought.

Interested to know what others think

indeed that’s what it means.

must of been an offer on tin foil

I can imagine exactly what type of people those parents are. Poor teachers and poor children growing up with them

Why do they need to phone their parents? They're having fun! If you feel anxious, OP, it is up to you to address that and not the school's job to facilitate it by supervising phone calls. It's only a few days, you're an adult, you'll be absolutely fine.

I work in a residential centre and find it incredibly sad that people are not sending their kids because of SA....these children benefit so much from what we offer...seeing their confidence grow as they try out things they would never have dreamed of doing...how sad that these kids will never get to experience this.

My child who chose not to go on their residential may have been more likely to go if phoning or texting us was an option. I still think it's best they don't have phones though for the good of the vast majority. My child just chose not to go.

My others went and had a great time.

This! Imagine having the kids line up every night for a phone call 😂

But but missssss Jonny got 6 minutes… Lacy pushed innnnnn it’s myyyyy turn. Only got 3minuted 😭

I’ve taken many residential trips including international ones and can honestly say that kids don’t want to call home. They might talk about wanting to take their phones but once we reach the destination- not a moment is spent wanting to call home. In my experience, parents want the communication far more than the kids do.

Many years ago I was a youth leader and we took groups of kids on residential trips. There was one kid who was really shy but we could tell she REALLY wanted to go and to push herself. Her mother was such hard work and would get in such a state telling her DD that she (the kid) wouldn't cope without her (the mother) and that she wouldn't be able to handle being away etc... etc.... Reality was that it was the mother who couldn't handle it. Eventually we persuaded the mother to allow her DD to go but we had to concede on the child being allowed to phone home every night. Not ideal but the child really wanted to go and we really wanted her to because we knew it would be great for her.

The kid came away and very quickly started to come out of her shell, she was loving it, laughing, getting involved in activities, having fun and we could see her confidence building - it was lovely to see. She didn't mention home once and we could see that she was actually just super proud of herself.

Cue the phonecall home; one of us would take the kid to the nearest phonebox (this was pre mobile phones) - and by the end of the phonecall, the child was crying and back in her shell. The mother had basically spent the entire call winding her DD up to believe that she WASN'T coping and basically TELLING the child that she (the child) was homesick and distraught when until that call, she wasn't anything like it. The phonecall wasn't for the child's benefit - it was for the mother's indulgence.

It was so frustrating to see and tbh when I hear parents now talking about their children not being "ready" for a residential or talking about calls home, I just think that chances are its the parents who aren't ready, the trip away would probably do the child the world of good, and the calls home would be the worst idea ever.

I disagree entirely. The idea of y5 and 6 trips amongst myriad other things, is to give them the experience of being away from home, possibly for the first time. The last thing they need is to be phoning mummy.

Where is this OP, is it somewhere on the coast?

I agree that most kids have fun but my friends daughter was really homesick the whole week, didn't sleep, cried in her bed every night and hardly ate. She was so shy that she wouldn't tell the teachers how she was feeling so she had an awful week. Her mum presumed no news was good news so was very shocked when her daughter got home and was very upset. A phone may have helped as she'd have told her mum how she was feeling. I do understand why they don't allow phones though.

My dd had her residential last week. I didn’t want her to take her phone because I thought she would lose it plus I thought it would do it her some good to be away from tech. However, I was persuaded and I’m glad I let her. In the evenings, she would drop a text or a phone call to me, otherwise the teacher kept hold on it during activities.

So no, I don’t think ybu. I think they should be able to take their phones

This made me laugh!! Such a good point, she would absolutely exploit the password if we had one!

Ok i totally see the reasoning for this.

I think those mums got in my head and freaked me out!

Your anxiety is misplaced and will do nothing to foster resilience in your child and you.

You need to contain yourself, foster confidence in your child, allow them to take risks and trust that the persons who are in charge will take care of her.

if there was an emergency then you’d be contacted.

Seek help.

No. That is unreasonable.

Teacher here, have done more than my fair share of P7/Y6 residential trips! If a child is desperate to call home for whatever reason then we will facilitate that. However, from experience, speaking to Mum/Dad when homesick and upset has only ever made a child feel worse. Pushing through and distract, distract, distract is almost always more effective.

My dd has just been on a residential abroad. They were allowed to take their phones for the journey (so 1st and last day) but had to hand them in for the rest of the trip. I imagine that was mainly for staff benefit as it allowed them all to let parents know they had arrived safely, and they could update with likely arrival times on the way home. They had an absolute blast and the most amazing trip, I can't see that being able to contact parents would have helped them (though it would have helped me!!). It's good for them not to have their phones, and we had emergency contact numbers for teachers on the trip, but were asked to only use these in an emergency, otherwise to go through the school office. I know at least one child spoke to their parent while they were there, so obviously exceptions were made as the staff deemed necessary/beneficial, which in hindsight is good to know.

Tell me you've never taken kids on a residential without telling me you've never taken kids on a residential ...

No phones allowed on DC schools residentials (5 days, & Yr3-6 all go together).
There was an emergency on this residential - DD banged her head & got a mild concussion. I was called, DD was brought home within an hour. All fine.
Children need to experience this separation to build their confidence & independence.

Ridiculous

I went on a residential (albeit early 1980s)

There were no mobiles. There was a dial pay phone if you needed to

But we didn't

Snowflakes

I used to work in a residential centre for children that schools used. There were no mobile phones for kids in those days. But schools that allowed kids to phone home would often trigger homesickness in at least one child. Those schools that did not allow phone calls tended to have far less homesickness. Every school allowed phone calls in special circumstances.

When my DD did her residential I thought exactly the same. I nearly snuck her phone in her bag so she could text but they warned against this so we didn't. It was actually absolutely fine and I get why they do it now. There were regular updates on class dojo but that caused upset as DD looked really upset in one of them (or more like Wednesday Adam's) and I panicked she needed me but couldn't get to me. I asked her when she got back and she said she hated all the photos so pulled a face.

I think that phonecalls home should only be done in exceptional circumstances, such as if a child is normally a carer for a parent and needs to discuss something important with the temp.

My extremely anxious DD was on her residential last week. I was worried about her not being able to contact me, but selfishly it was actually better for me as I couldn't get calls/messages saying she missed me. They keep them very busy on most school trips which helps avoid homesickness.