To think that kids on a residential should be allowed a couple of phone calls

[ftmni]

Im not saying they should bring their phones, but a quick check in call with mum?

My dd is away on a school trip, a few of the mums who haven't sent their kids to it have said its because of the risk of SA.

To be totally honest i have these scary scenario thoughts every now and again, as much as i try not to, but that wasnt one until they said it. So now add that to my anxiety list!

But from a safety point of view, should they not be allowed to phone? Perhaps with a password that is only ever to be used in absolute emergencies.

I don't know just a thought.

Interested to know what others think

@OhmygodDont I would hate that, even if I understand how manic and busy these trips are.

Some days there were so many pics it felt like I spent the day with her. A very happy neurotic mum.

No need at all! My Y5 DC is just back from a two night residential and the kids were all fine and had a blast! The mums were the only ones stressing... but the school were great at sharing pics regularly and keeping us updated.

Whatever SA means, I feel sad for the DC of the mums you’ve been talking with OP. These women are doing their DC no favours and it sounds almost as if they are implicitly boasting about being Good Mums. I find them the opposite (unless the DC have SEN issues affecting participation with the trip)

And I could tell you about my (last) residential, that I remember vividly. I won't though as it would probably give OP even more anxiety or even nightmares.

Not everyone was fine and some of us have reasons to be anxious and neurotic.

No - don’t agree with phones on primary residentials (and lived through it). Also experienced a Y7 residential for 2 nights and they didn’t want to bring a phone. Told me loads of people spent hours on there sending unnecessary photos that could have been shared later.

I had to collect early due to sickness. Guess what - the teachers called me. Old school I know.

I have never heard of anyone not going on a trip because of SA concerns - when the biggest risk of SA for a child is within their own family. They really need to give their heads a wobble and remove their kids from that school if thats the case!

Absolutely agree with everyone else no to mobiles! There is no need to call parents while the kids are aware having an amazing time!

i have been on more residential trips than I can count. Absolutely phone calls make homesickness worse in many children.

YABU.

I've just been on a Y7 residential and the no phones rule was amazing. They had FUN. They TALKED to each other.

Only 2 out of 100 kids needed parents to be called. One due to being very homesick (autustic) and the other for a medical reason.

No parents sent messages.

@ftmni the kids are fine. I think it's the parents that can't cope!

This, a million times over.

Don't fall into the trap OP that having a phone replaces teaching a child basic ways to keep themselves safe.

No no no.

our school did this once when I was younger, then all my mates sharing my room were crying wishing they were back home with their mums and dads. School never allowed phone calls again

I can imagine the children of those parents having anxiety later in life. Children can't be wrapped in cotton wool forever.

No I don’t think they should be allowed. My DS is going this week and he needs some independence away from us for a few days.
I remember phoning home on one residential I was on and my mother, in her infinite wisdom, decided to tell me about my younger sister having some condition or other.. it turned out to be something quite minor and she grew out of it, but I spent the whole week thinking my sister was going to die!!

I know not everyone is as stupid as my mother but still, I definitely agree with no phones. They can manage a few days without speaking to me.

I remember when my DD was on yr 6 residential, they didn’t have phones (well she didn’t have a phone then) but they put pictures on twitter.
There were none of her for ages, then the first was she was in she looked miserable.
When she got home, and I asked her about it, she said she was ‘looking moody’ on purpose!
If she’d have been able to call home, I know I’d have been going ‘but are you ok? Really? Because you looked sad’ until she questioned herself!
Residentials are hard, thankless tasks for teachers and school staff. The addition of phone calls at that age would honestly be a dealbreaker I think.

Anyone remember this song? Kids are so fickle!!

Hello mother, hello father
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Lennard Skinard
He got ptomain poisoning last night after dinner

All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called 'Ulysses'

No, I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home, oh mother, father
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys
Oh, please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest father, darling mother
How's my precious little brother
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter

My friend let her son hide his phone so he could text her. All was well until the 2nd night when he called her late at night homesick & let his friend also call his mum crying & homesick (I'm guessing he remembered his home number). This was about midnight! My friend had to get the teachers to go into the boy's room & 'settle' them. This is why they are not allowed phones at school camp!

Disagree. It's good for them to be independent. Indeed this is the point.

I think there will always be anxious parents, and those that don’t send their children (potentially for their own benefit rather than the child’s)

Having a phone wouldn’t stop these parents worrying. It would probably make it worse.

If there was an emergency they’d call me, otherwise I assume everyone is having a great time. Absolutely no need for a phone (our Y5s don’t have phones, it’s rare until 13+ at our school)

OP, what if you spoke to her and she became emotional hearing your voice? It would make you both upset.

Why did parents refuse to let their DC go? Why did they think there was a risk of SA? Have they never allowed their DC go on a residential @ftmni

I’m strongly in the no camp.

I assume SA means sexual assault? I’m astounded people have not let kids go on a trip on that basis…genuinely shocked. It baffles me those same kids aren’t therefore home schooled and never let out of the house.

I asked that too. I am assuming that the OP meant separation anxiety.

My thoughts exactly! As someone who takes 75-85 year 6s on residential every year, it's never once crossed my mind that the reason for a child staying at school could be because the parents think the staff taking them could sexually abuse them. I am shocked that this is something that not just one, but several parents have said to you.

Regarding the suggestion of phone calls home, apart from the negative effect of the actual call, it would waste hours of our time and reduce the activities the children could take part in.

dd11 isn’t going due to travel sickness and the anxiety she gets because of it, however 90% of her friends are, apparently they are not allowed to take their phones. I can imagine the struggle at camp when they aren’t doing activities. As most of them live on thier phones. At least dd isn’t going to wake up to 300 what’s app messages for 3 days. And no 5 ways calls on FaceTime so tbh dd is gonna struggle even though she’s at home 😂

So did I. I loved the fact he had his phone and I could track him. They actually got abroad early and I was like… erm did you get a early ferry… yuh… oh cool 😅