Is she really my best friend?

[firsttimemumchar]

I’m due my first baby in a couple of weeks, and since finding out my best friend has been very odd.

Have seen her three times since finding out - keeps cancelling all the time saying she’s poorly but then I see she’s out elsewhere. A few days before we’re due to meet I get the typical message “oh I’ve got a sore throat” and then I just know what’s coming on the day we’re meant to meet up.

has said some quite hurtful things about the things we’ve bought for the nursery being too expensive, explained I will have rules when baby is here such a no kissing her and told I’m treating the baby like a possession. My close family member is getting married when I’m 39 weeks, I’m meant to be bridesmaid. Best friend said I looked like a pink whale or a huge canopy in my bridesmaid dress. been a fair few comments on how “fat” I look with my bump too.

Can’t decided if I’m being over sensitive because I’m so close to my due date or whether or not I should just take this with a pinch of salt and laugh it all off

She doesn't sound like a friend at all, never mind a best friend

@firsttimemumchar
She sounds jealous of you

Do you know if she’s struggling to conceive? Doesn’t excuse her behaviour though.

She's not your friend and certainly not your best friend

No you’re not being over sensitive, she’s sounding thoroughly unpleasant. I would stop contacting her and making plans.

No she has two children herself, it’s all just so upsetting and obviously not what I want or need when I’m due soon

This was my initial thought too.

I've suffered a loss while everyone around me was having successful pregnancies and it really hurt, but I was nothing but positive about their pregnancies.

Even if your friend is struggling to conceive/had a loss, she isn't being a very good friend to you OP.

She's not your friend at all

She’s being really unkind. These aren’t the actions of a friend.

She sounds like a jealous, bitter arsehole, not a friend. Certainly not a best friend. Honestly, I'd have binned her after the first fat comment. I wouldn't be making any more plans or contacting her. Enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy without her negativity.

She sounds jealous but I don't know why if she has two kids herself, anyway she's definitely not your friend, friends don't bring you down

Ah. Well it may be that she has always been “the one with kids” and now you’re having one of your own she can’t feel superior to you any more.

You surely don't need us to tell you that she's not a friend.

Friends support you and bring positives to your life, they build you up, not knock you down.

Distance yourself from her.

I think she's jealous because her kids are older and she probably misses that newborn stage and all the attention you and your new baby will get. Enjoy your baby it's your first too nothing should ruin this special time for you

My best friend did the exact same thing when I was pregnant with my first & bought our house. Little comments here and there about how I'd be massive, vagina would be huge, how hard it would be for me because I couldn't drive, how I'd be skint, my house wasn't big enough etc.

We had been friends since we were 3. She mentioned one day how she'd been really jealous. She'd been with her partner a lot longer and didn't have kids or own her house and how she felt like she was behind everyone. She was totally normal once I'd given birth!

It sounds like your friend is jealous. I would be inclined to message her and say you've noticed the comments and it's making you feel like shit etc. I'm sure she will apologise and back down after that. She's probably struggling to accept that your life is going to be different to hers. Does she want children?

Oh I can see you've said she has kids.
Weird that she's acting that way when she already has children!

Could she be trying for a third or had a miscarriage recently?

Jealousy I’m afraid. I’d keep contact with her to an absolute minimum.

She sounds like an absolute horror of a woman. Best friend? I wouldn't put up with that from my worst enemy.

She is not your friend and the very last person you will need around you and your new baby.

She sounds nasty and deliberately unkind.
She could compromise your mental health when you are fragile and vulnerable after having your baby by undermining you.

Stop contacting her at all.
Focus on other friends and making friends with new local mums to you.

She is a bit**.

Can’t decided if I’m being over sensitive because I’m so close to my due date or whether or not I should just take this with a pinch of salt and laugh it all off

Oh come for goodness sake, you know the answer.

She is being very unkind and not at all friendly.

She's not your friend, she's jealous.

I wouldn't be making any further plans with her.

I hate how jealousy is almost almost applied as a motive for women, but in this case, I think it’s true. Next time she makes a comment like that, I’d tell her it was hurtful and it’s not the first time and ask her what’s going on.

Thankyou everyone. I’ve had messages tonight from her asking if my baby has arrived and to “get on with it”. I’m still only 37 weeks so has made me feel like I’m now failing at pregnancy. Even though I’m not, and my husband has given me a good kick up the arse!