It's a money one - Parent

[TheSpoonyNavyReader]

My parents have always been very fair and equal when they have given my sibling or myself money, the other sibling instantly get the same amount. This has always been the case.

My parents gave my sibling a large amount of money, and I have been told that I will have to wait until my parents have died to receive the money.

My parents have got the money in investments and have the amount of money sitting in the bank.

AIBU and should just wait or AINBU to think I should be given the money now as has always happened.

Then you do less in future. If they comment say you feel taken for granted while the favourite does nothing yet receives huge rewards. Let them know you are hurting. They won't know if you don't tell them.

I've given my youngest DC £55k to use as a part deposit for his house. He had saved some deposit already but every year houses were going up and I could see he was getting despondent. My elder 2 DC already have their own houses. I did give them help with deposit but nowhere near as much help. I've changed my will to ensure my youngest DC gets £55k less than elder 2dc in my will. So £55k goes to 2 older DC, a fixed sum goes to foster ds, and 2 x DGS's, before the rest of my estate is divided between DC equally. Your parents refusal of changing their will means they still expect what is left is left 50/50 between you and your sibling.

If the sum is significant (e.g. enough for a down payment on a house or to clear a mortgage), then what I would do is talk to my parents and say that while you understand that this money may be coming to you after they pass away, you would like to get it written somewhere and passed to a solicitor for safe keeping that from their estate you are to be given X amount (whatever the other person is getting now).

Also remember that the cost of money decreases over time so what £20k or £200k would have bought you 50 years ago will not buy you the same today, so they should factor that in if they want to hang on to their money (which is their decision) these are things that should be sorted out sooner rather than later.

Many might disagree with this position and that is perfectly acceptable.

Based on this post, and the amount that you mention in another post, I'd withdraw my availability and take a step back in what you do for your parents. If they are not giving you the money now, let them pay for the services that you are doing for them. Along with stepping back, I'd make it very clear that the reason I'm stepping back is because out of nowhere, they have made a conscious decision to begin to treat you differently so you feel that you must protect yourself and your family from whatever decisions they might plan to make in the future.

Have they any idea you feel upset about this?

OO I thoroughly understand. Everything has been equal up to now, and it sounds like your parents have gone to great lengths to affirm repeatedly that "everything is the same", but then they have suddenly changed the rules and it's you that's left out in the cold.

The only thing I'd say about the lack of codicil/amendment to the will is do you believe you sibling will honour the fact you are owed £150k before the rest is split? If you don't then maybe have further conversations with your parents, lay out your concerns.

My parents will is 50/50 between me and my sibling, but due to circumstances I won't go in to, I happen to have a flat in my name that is worth £X. There is nothing in the will about this, but we all know.

I love my parents, I respect my parents, and when the time comes I will absolutely be honouring their wishes and ensuring the property is considered as part of their estate when we are working though it all- I would never dishonour my parents by trying to slyly keep the extra.

Only you know whether you feel your sibling is the same.

I feel you OP. I would be very hurt if suddenly, a promise of equal treatment was just broken.

I think many of us already realize that your sibling will NOT remember to be trustworthy and fair when your parents die. The fact that they asked for money for unimportant things and got cosmetic surgery, shows me they will want as much as they can get when the time comes.

I would have trouble being around my parents, knowing I was less favored and I would feel less loved. I just would not be able to help it.