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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does his Google history show he was at an industrial estate at night

632 replies

Nachosanddips · 06/07/2024 17:00

Last night I was on Dh’s phone-not snooping…initially at least. I was turning lullaby music off that he and our dc had fallen asleep to.
It showed the travel history of where he’d been/been driving etc. I just thought it was quite interesting at first, don’t think I have it on my phone or if I do, no idea how to access it! I started looking and it was all pretty boring-travel to work, certain shops, cafes etc, a friends house. One entry from last Sunday shows him going out in the evening driving for 30 minutes, it says here no location/location not shown. Then from around 10.30-11.30 pm, it shows a location and when I looked at it, it’s an industrial estate. This is really strange isn’t it?! Making me so paranoid, what would you make of it?

OP posts:
Polominty · 06/07/2024 23:47

Could it be a mistake with the location thingme? Me and DH were just on holiday in Wales when he got a random text from his phone provider ( while I was standing right next to him) to say that since he was in Jersey he would be getting charged more ( I didn’t get the exact details as it was obviously bonkers) my phone was fine ( same provider) then his went back to normal.

Cem82 · 07/07/2024 00:10

Maybe ask him? Failing that stick an AirTag under the seat of his car - that way you’ll know if he’s actually going someplace strange or if google is acting up!

lazzapazza · 07/07/2024 00:18

He was getting buggered by a prize winning leek.

Chartreux · 07/07/2024 00:19

Almost certainly a simple error in the history, especially given the "Missing travel" entry. My history shows that yesterday I was somewhere around 50 miles away from my actual location.

GoldieLocks09 · 07/07/2024 00:22

I’m absolutely not saying that this is what’s happened, however a similar thing happened to my friend: she realised he was taking a little longer than usual on his way back from somewhere & looked him up on FindMyFriends, he was parked 2 minutes away in a car park. She rang him & he said he was almost home & just coming to a nearby roundabout (but he wasn’t, she could clearly see he was parked).. it turned out he was messaging / paying for girls online to chat with him, the X rated kind.. she managed to look on his timeline & it showed him in really random places where he could just stop for a bit 🤷🏼‍♀️

foxidale32 · 07/07/2024 00:23

If it were me id follow him.
Let him think you've fell asleep then drive out.

GoldieLocks09 · 07/07/2024 00:23

Also I don’t think it’s weird that your partner goes to see a friend but from what you’ve said the frequency seems odd.. do you not spend any time together in the evening?

FauxOutrage · 07/07/2024 00:27

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MegsNaiceJam · 07/07/2024 00:31

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Maybe he was being blown whilst being buggered with a prize winning leek.

or there is a 24/hr Screwfix there and he want to go and drool over the catalogue. Or a different kind of screw fix.

Crumpleton · 07/07/2024 00:38

Nachosanddips · 06/07/2024 21:32

@Crumpleton Yes, it had the whole history, so the time he leaves the house, journey to work, times of places stopped etc, quite interesting really

Bare in mind it's not always 100% accurate in its times/placings.

Bluebirdover · 07/07/2024 00:42

I would go fucking ballistic if my DH snooped on me like this!

He's gone missing for an hour on an industrial estate?
So what?

Have you never grabbed a coffee, not wanted to socialise in a cafe, but just sit hidden in your car and scroll on your phone, or sometimes (it is warm, with the sun shining through the windscreen), recline your chair and have a snooze?

If I found out my DH was looking through my phone, because he felt entitled too because "he knew people that's wives had affairs", I'd leave him.

I'm glad it's rattled you! Next time mind your own paranoid business.

Since when did couples have the right to know where you are 24/7?

Ingens · 07/07/2024 00:42

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Bluebirdover · 07/07/2024 00:45

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Exactly!!

It makes me shudder.

QueenBitch666 · 07/07/2024 00:48

Dogging
Grindr sex
Hookers
Get an STI test

Danfromdownunder · 07/07/2024 00:51

It’s a sex thing and you know it OP. Get an STD test.

Ilovelurchers · 07/07/2024 01:08

Haven't read the entire thread and this has probably been suggested a million times already (sorry) but my friend, a gay man, is into BDSM scene-style hook-ups with other guys and it's often this sort of venue - gives a sense of verisimilitude to whatever the role play is I guess.... .

Hope it's not that OP. Sorry and good luck

SnowFrogJelly · 07/07/2024 01:08

Ask him!!!!

Sunisshiningweatherissweet2 · 07/07/2024 01:35

Is he depressed?

Yoe · 07/07/2024 01:54

By any chance if he was coming or going back to his friends his traffic route got diverted and he had to pass the industrial estate ? TBH I wouldn’t jump to this being a big neg thing nor would I 100% trust travel
history on a phone

PennyLane897 · 07/07/2024 02:15

Like are.you getting cheating vibes, serial killer? What are.your thoughts? Because creeping his phone and making up scenerios isn't really good for your mental health.

Stephenra · 07/07/2024 02:36

Google travel history doesn't appear by magic when you turn off a music app. You have to drill down through various settings. Finding it is then an act of focused and intentional snooping and a fair deal of adeptness you can only aquire through studied practice. I know this because I commonly come across people who are baffled beyond anything more technical than an IG update.

Coupled with that, there is the fact that Google travel history is often notoriously inaccurate.

And then there could be a billion reasons behind what he was doing.

So what we're looking at here is morbid inquisitiveness, a pathological level of mistrust, immaturity, and a horrible lack of communication, not to mention heaps of not too healthy hypotheses because we're only getting one side of the story.

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/07/2024 03:03

Who actually does this? Stay away from his phone - adults don’t behave like this.

Ubugly · 07/07/2024 03:04

Picking up weed? Timings aren't always correct as I know by my location apps.

GirlAnachro · 07/07/2024 03:08

well, you COULD just ask him, but it sounds like you wouldn’t necessarily believe his answer anyway. And I know cheaters will be inclined to lie and then just try harder to cover it better next time, and then your future is just being terrified even if you check again and see nothing.

personally for me I’d find it a bit odd that my partner just went off out at 10 at night without so much as a “Just popping to get a burger/see Ted/catch a rare pikachu” (like had you eaten dinner already? Is going out late to get a whole other food likely?) but others here seem to think just buggering off randomly that late is fine so what do I know.

did you take a photo of this Google history thing on your own phone so he can’t delete it and say you’re crazy?
did you cross reference the timeline with his call log/texts/whatsapp/google searches? If not, can you at some point?

any other new strange, unlike him behaviour that has raised unease and suspicion? I’m just wondering bc often we don’t snoop or happen upon our spouses locations and map history unless something else tweaks our spidey senses.

I’d do what I suggested above and then keep an eye on if it happens again, if it’s the same place or other odd locations where he stops for an hour or so.

it might seem paranoid and I’m sure it’ll get some snide incredulous “if you have to act like this/can’t just ask then just leave, it’s over already” but in the real world with small children and entangled lives it’s not that simple at all and most women need actual proof before they decimate their and their kid’s whole lives.

an extra source ie an AirTag or a
second phone may seem
ectreme but it’s either that or just never bring it up again and hope it was just the phone being wierd (which as proven with PP on here, does happen frequently! And will that help you to not worry ever again, if your paranoia has been piqued, or is it gonna still drive you crazy.
Or you ask him and he says he was doing nothing or went to smoke a joint etc, sth innocent, but again will you really believe that enough to put your mind at rest?

I’ve seen it many many times on here when a woman has been labelled “batshit”, mental, over paranoid but many of us had a wierd gut feeling something is wrong, way before it comes out that there’s an affair or sex workers or etc. It’s the dissonance between not wanting to/being able to believe they’re capable of something like this, but also just knowing something isn’t right, most cheaters aren’t going to crack and confess after being asked, which is why so many of the cheating stories on here end with the truth being outed after a lot of hoping, then snooping, then more intense digging. If all these women had just swept the niggling feelings and little disparities in behaviour under the rug, the majority of cheats wouldn’t have been found out. It’s something you only really know if you’ve been there yourself or seen it in real time.

Dustyblue · 07/07/2024 04:32

Sunsetcocktail · 06/07/2024 17:02

I mean, we’re all thinking dogging right? But in fact it’s probably something really boring, like he was practicing hand brake turns. Men can be weird

Sorry to interrupt but this is one of the funniest things I've read in ages. You are so right 😝