Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

other children will benefit from mr T which is what the school are thinking. Move on.

No, and even if I could I wouldn't tell you. It’s ridiculous.

I'm a teacher and my Head would never allow a parent to dictate what class their child should be in. If you are allowed to choose teachers, why shouldn’t every other parent? How do you think two-form entry schools could possibly function if every parent was allowed to choose which teacher their little darling should have the following year?

Part of growing up is learning to cope with other people, even the ones you wouldn't choose to spend your time with if you had the choice. You need to encourage your son to just get on with it, not encourage him to think he should be able to dictate to others so he can get whatever he wants.

When did we become so entitled to kick off over teacher allocations? You get who you're given, just like everyone else for multiple decades before you. What makes your little darling so much more special than any other kid?

I opened this thread thinking the end was going to be that he's died. You're massively overreacting I'm afraid. Teachers change every year in the English system - it's not great, but it is what it is. Try and be glad you had him at all!

Also, you need to be positive about the situation for your son's sake, as he will have a happier future if he can deal with and embrace change.

They'll probably struggle more with adjusting to a new teacher in year 5.

And think of the child in the other class, who has perhaps never had a male teacher, who now gets their turn to have the wonderful Mr T.

The only way for them to make it completely fair on "adjusting to a new teacher" is to keep the classes as they are and Mr T take the group he didn't have this year. However that means they can't even up the things they are planning to even up by mixing the classes, which will probably have a bigger impact, given that it sounds as if both teachers are good.

My son had a class teacher who thought he was wonderful, and let him get away with things like reading his own books hidden on his lap, instead of the class reader which the rest of the class was following, his reading age was very far ahead of the class. The teacher told me this at a parents evening. I didn't approve at all, and told my son that, although he was getting away with things that year, he should remember that he wouldn't always be teachers pet. The next year he had a different teacher, and wasn't!

@Foundanotherwrinkle parent entitlement is one of the things that puts off people being teachers

Part of growing up is learning to cope with other people, even the ones you wouldn't choose to spend your time with if you had the choice. You need to encourage your son to just get on with it, not encourage him to think he should be able to dictate to others so he can get whatever he wants.

Quite. You need to catch a grip, OP.

My mother was BIG on resilience. Huge. Massive. As a result of that (and other things) I’ve had a 25 year long career where resilience has been crucial.

FGS, do your son a favour and start the teaching of this now. He’ll survive the change and it might even be of benefit 🙄

My son also had an excellent teacher for two years on the trot and progressed very well during those two years. The two teachers (job-share) he's had during Year 5 turned out to be equally good. Better, in some ways, because they've helped identify that DC has SEN, and supported us wonderfully through the process of getting adequate support and a proper diagnosis.

Next year there'll be another different teacher. It hasn't hurt DC at all to have this variation in teaching and learning experience: quite the reverse. In some senses retaining the same teachers for long periods of time can make things too insular. The variety is better, healthier and more likely to promote independent learning and the ability to adjust.

Everyone has to move on in life from one stage to the next. Whether this is viewed as a terrifying, even traumatising experience or an exciting new opportunity depends on the individual child, the attitudes of those who surround them, and experiences to date which have prepared (or failed) to prepare them for this eventuality.

Next year my DC makes the transition to secondary school. This layering of different experiences has, IMO, been a far better basis of preparation. I want DC to grow up to be a confident, adaptable, fully functioning adult, dependent on his own faculties rather than over-relying on the guidance of others.

In summary, this might turn out to be the best and healthiest thing for your son, OP.

I actually thought you were going to say something had happened to Mr T with that title! Surely you knew he would be getting a new teacher next year?

My DDs primary school had two classes per year and each year they swapped and changed the kids around. My DD every single year without fail got the teacher she didn’t want and every single year she ended up absolutely adoring them.

It’s something most kids go through, your son will be fine. Encourage him, talk about how great this change will be, how he will get to tell a new teacher about all the things he loves etc.

At least the new teacher is good. We were never told until the last day of term which class and teacher DS was having the next year. As it happened a couple of times DS was moved to the "shit" class with a poor teacher (teaching things that were actually wrong but nearing retirement) so by September it "was too late to change now".
His attendance was poor for those years (home educated to some extent instead)

Sounds more like you have a crush on Mr T.

Your child will be fine and you need to get past this schoolgirl behaviour

My son has started secondary this school year. So far he's had 3 different PE teachers, 2 form tutors and about 5 different English teachers. You'll do your son no favours by not instilling ability to cope with change at primary. I know you want the best for your son but kindly, the best for him will be ability to cope with change and learn to adapt to various teachers and classes

I pity the fool

Please teach your child resilience and stop transferring your response to your own (unreasonable) wants onto them.
The teacher will still be in the school but is likely to leave in the future, so your child needs to learn to cope with change and be equipped to adapt, as do you.
Also, your Dc’s Y1 teacher may have dyslexia. Be kind.

This comment works in so many ways.

I think I'd be more bothered if one of my DC had a terrible teacher for two years in a row.
My GD was allocated to a new class in September, away from her previous friends, and was bullied. The unsympathetic teacher did nothing, not even recording incidents though the problem had been referred to the HoY and HT by my daughter who had been told that they would keep an eye on the situation.
My DD removed both her children from the school at the end of the term, as did several other parents from the class and they are now happily established at a different local school.

Literally this *facepalm

YABVU.
You don't get to choose your child's teacher and you need to stop comparing with other people and trying to find a way to wangle your child into Mr. T's class.
Parents can't choose which class their child goes into because that would cause chaos. What if everyone wants to go into Mr. T's class?

The dramatic title made me think the teacher had died or something. He's still going to be there in the school and perhaps he runs an extra-curricular activity which your child could join.

@OP imagine if all the previous children in Mr T's class had refused their new teacher? your ds would have never known Mr T. It's time to take stock, give thanks for the time with Mr T and let other children benefit.

Bear in mind that Mr T must have been involved in how to split the classes. He’ll have ensured that your son has a balanced class and friends with him.

Your DS will be absolutely fine. The biggest issue facing primary school children is lack of resilience and it’s usually related to their parents. How you react to this will affect how he takes it. It needs nothing more than a breezy, ‘That sounds like an awesome class and you’ll have so many exciting things to look forward to.’ End of conversation.