Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

I would say how much your DS' confidence etc has improved bc he likes Mr T. Give lots of examples and see what they say.

The worst they can say is no.

If his Y1 teacher couldn’t spell that’s bad, and you could reasonably have complained to the Head, but that has nothing to do with your current complaint.

If Mr T really is the best teacher in the school (or maybe the only man, or one of not very many men?) it’s a good idea for as many different children as possible to get the experience of being taught by him, while keeping a balance between the classes. The school will have thought very carefully about which children should go into each class and you shouldn’t even try to change their minds for no good reason. You don’t want to get a reputation as an over-anxious mum who tries to shield her child from every disappointment in life.

Holy crap. That is a very high teacher turnover.

But if Mr T had remained in year 3 you would have accepted the alternative. Give the allocated one a chance.

You sound a bit obsessed with Mr T and a bit delusional

It’s completely normal and healthy to change teachers

Bet Mr. T is delighted to not have to deal with you at the school gate any more!

With all due respect, I don't think you understand the meaning of the word "punished".

Most children also benefit from accepting change and adapting, obviously not all children. From what you've said about your DC, I wouldn't worry (unless I've missed something). They will still see this old teacher in and around school, assembly, etc.

I feel really sorry for your son's new teacher. Nothing the poor woman does will be good enough because she isn't Mr T. Please help your son to get on with his new teacher.

OP, this is a you problem. Seriously.
Maybe consider why you are so invested, because honestly this is not a big deal. You know in your heart it’s not going to make a jot of difference long term. Listen to what people are saying here because you are taking this far too much to heart.

Or maybe it's not the child Mr T wants to see the back of ...

Y1 teacher couldn’t spell? Couldn’t spell what? Was she dyslexic? Did she make a game of spelling things wrong to show children it’s ok to make mistakes?

Male teacher I worked with was loved by the kids, wanted him the year after, only he had no discipline in the class room, never took kids to the HT, played all the games with boys int he playground and ignored the girls - that class moved up and the amount of parents called that year for their behavior was shocking - parents were all ‘but the behaved for Mr T!!! No they didn’t, you just didn’t know about it.

This.

Your son will cope absolutely fine with something that is going to happen to the vast majority of primary school children. He isn’t being punished for being good he was moved into a class

having a new teacher will better help with resilience at moving forward and eventually going to high school where frankly at the moment teachers are leaving and getting a new one is par for the course

So you think he would definitely be in Mr TS class if he acted like a brat in school? Now that doesn't actually make sense does it?
There are lots of things that go into making up a class list, maybe one of them is Mr T wanting fresh faces to work with or children that are struggling that he feels he in particular can support, maybe other children deserve the chance to have a Mr T in their life and benefit from that experience

Just to give a different perspective, the only parents who ever ask for me again are the ones who have unruly children and who know I keep them in line 😁

You are being ridiculous!

What if Mr T is the teacher who inspired by a new group of pupils and is ready for the dynamics of a new class.

Your exceptionalist and narcissistic attitude is the biggest disadvantage your DS will have to overcome, if he is to develop into a balanced and caring person.

I think change is hard and the anticipation is often worse than the reality.

My children always got a new teacher every single year starting in reception through year 6. The classmates remained the same in reception-year 2 and after that even the classmates all got mixed into different forms. Starting in year 4, they had different teachers for English and Maths rather than main teacher. In year 5 they only had their main teacher for whatever subject that particular tutor taught along with morning registration. It's good practice for the children to learn how to deal with change and different teaching styles etc. It's only gets harder in secondary school and beyond.

Maybe look at it as you're lucky your child had a fantastic year with Mr T and it will have given him whatever advantage you think Mr T has given. Your next teacher will no doubt have their own strengths and you might be pleasantly surprised.

We one had a parent who was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED when Mr S left the school and didn't get the opportunity to teach her darling child, so much so that she moved her child from the school to the one Mr S had moved to. Unfortunately, it was 2 form entry and her child was put in the opposite class😂

Blimey that's a bit dramatic. He's not being punished for anything .
He's moving up a year.
You are being massively unreasonable

"Heartbroken"

Oh my word, you have a long and emotionally exhausting 10 years ahead

I thought it was going to be something terrible like they’d died. Manage your expectations is my advice. When it comes to secondary you wouldn’t know any of the teachers at all.

Keep pushing it, they’ll give in and let your son switch classes. As well as you getting what you want, it’s also a great way for you to make a lasting impact on the school, because all the teachers will remember your name in years to come when people ask them why they left the profession.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this really is the kind of parental attitude / behaviour that drives teachers to their limits and which makes the already stressful job unbearable.

Of course it’s disappointing for your son, and of course it’s a source of worry for you as a parent that he will have to adjust to a new teacher, but it’s you’re responsibility as a parent to be positive and encourage your son, and send him off into the next school year with a positive mindset. Not allow him to be influenced by your heartbreak.

As others have said, resilience is important for children to learn. And, in the nicest possible way, having to have a decent, qualified teacher in a small, safe school where he is already thriving, is really a very very minor ‘inconvenience’ to have to adapt to. Millions of children worldwide would jump at the chance to have a fraction of that kind of privilege and security.

Have your son make Mr T a nice card, and then go onwards and upwards into the next year.