Well, all, I thought you'd like an update.
I organised a lunch for the same lady, plus two other mums living nearby. 4 women, 4 babies and a toddler. I put together a tacos help yourself kind of lunch with veggie options and a chocolate tiffin for afters.
The other moms arrived first and the one with the toddler required changing. Remaining mom offered to mind the babies while I showed the other mom around, and j requested that she let the last mum in if she comes while we're upstairs.
Two minutes in, there's a racket from the front door. The original mum brought herself, her baby, DH, her sister, sister's toddler and another friend with a baby and a toddler. All of whom trooped into the kitchen with barely a hello.
By the time we came downstairs (5 minutes at a huge push), the lunch was reduced to crumbs. The mum who stayed downstairs managed to put together a wrap for the toddler, that was it.
Not only that, but then they settled themselves in while we tried to make the best of it over a cup of tea. In the meantime, the DH planted himself firmly in front of the TV, the two toddlers terrorised my cat, wiped their chocolate fingers all over my curtains and sofa and broke my favourite Jo Malone candle. The sister left used hygiene products all over the bathroom.
The original woman and her entourage finally departed. The other two ladies offered to help out, but they needed to feed themselves and this was my problem, anyway. DH and I just put everything back into place.
To add insult to the injury, the other mum just sent me a screenshot of the messages where the original lady complained the salsa was from sainsbury's and not from m&s. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, genuinely!