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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Invited to a sparrow's lunch

324 replies

FluentRubyDog · 04/07/2024 18:33

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

OP posts:
midgetastic · 06/07/2024 08:35

Yet again I am amazed at how many people don't realise their privileges

White bread and cheese slices will be eaten in more homes by more adults than sourdough and goats cheese

A mixture of personal taste, cost , health knowledge and background

burnoutbabe · 06/07/2024 09:17

I sssumed pan bread meant bread without crusts.

But normal white sliced loaves is the normal bread one buts in supermarket. Normally we go seeded sliced but since I have had my brace the seeds annoy me so it's just sliced white. Maybe kings mill 50/50 at times.

Having 2 different breads on the go would seem wasteful as goes off quickly.

So a last minute guest to mine May get bread like that. But I'm unlikely to invite someone over like that if unsure I had much in and would either do a cafe or via Tesco's to stock up.

Maggiethecat · 06/07/2024 13:07

midgetastic · 06/07/2024 08:35

Yet again I am amazed at how many people don't realise their privileges

White bread and cheese slices will be eaten in more homes by more adults than sourdough and goats cheese

A mixture of personal taste, cost , health knowledge and background

Really? Plastic cheese slices?

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/07/2024 16:52

What is the obsession with being snotty about processed cheese slices?

They are not plastic.

They are around 60% cheese, then veg oil (palm oil) water and an emulsifying agent (calcium chelator) to create a long lasting product that melts extremely well.

No they're not fancy cheese for your posh cheeseboard and arguably, not really designed for sandwiches either, but they are mostly real cheese, and certainly are not plastic.

Maggiethecat · 06/07/2024 18:13

Whatever happened to ordinary cheddar, you know the kind that you’d make kids’ sandwiches with?

And the cheese slices that the OP referred to may as well be plastic.

saraclara · 06/07/2024 18:53

midgetastic · 06/07/2024 08:35

Yet again I am amazed at how many people don't realise their privileges

White bread and cheese slices will be eaten in more homes by more adults than sourdough and goats cheese

A mixture of personal taste, cost , health knowledge and background

It's not an either/or between processed cheese slices in plastic or goats cheese on sourdough though. They're at the extremes of the options. The vast majority will be somewhere in the middle, putting normal block cheddar or similar (sliced or grated) in their sandwiches.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/07/2024 21:24

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/07/2024 16:52

What is the obsession with being snotty about processed cheese slices?

They are not plastic.

They are around 60% cheese, then veg oil (palm oil) water and an emulsifying agent (calcium chelator) to create a long lasting product that melts extremely well.

No they're not fancy cheese for your posh cheeseboard and arguably, not really designed for sandwiches either, but they are mostly real cheese, and certainly are not plastic.

They are around 60% cheese, then veg oil (palm oil) water and an emulsifying agent (calcium chelator) to create a long lasting product that melts extremely well.

Not really selling it to me from the description, tbh ... Palm oil, additive, only 60% cheese ... I'll stick to Cheddar.

RampantIvy · 06/07/2024 21:56

saraclara · 06/07/2024 18:53

It's not an either/or between processed cheese slices in plastic or goats cheese on sourdough though. They're at the extremes of the options. The vast majority will be somewhere in the middle, putting normal block cheddar or similar (sliced or grated) in their sandwiches.

Most posters only see extreme examples and seem to be unaware that in real life most people are somewhere in the middle.

On one of the election threads the Tory supporters think that anyone who voted Labour is a militant left wing extremist. And on the weather threads the cold weather lovers think that it is either nice snuggling under a blanket weather or boiling hot. It is never warm.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/07/2024 21:58

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/07/2024 21:24

They are around 60% cheese, then veg oil (palm oil) water and an emulsifying agent (calcium chelator) to create a long lasting product that melts extremely well.

Not really selling it to me from the description, tbh ... Palm oil, additive, only 60% cheese ... I'll stick to Cheddar.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to sell it, just refute the repeated statement that it's plastic and the inferrance that it doesn't contain cheese.

I use it on burgers sometimes. I wouldn't put it in a sandwich, but if thats what someone enjoys, who am I to argue!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/07/2024 22:16

Oh yes, I'm all for free choice. Much cheaper to buy block Cheddar, though, far less packaging, and it tastes far better. I don't really understand why people buy cheese slices unless they have problems with their hands and can't slice easily.

FluentRubyDog · 26/07/2024 21:28

Well, all, I thought you'd like an update.

I organised a lunch for the same lady, plus two other mums living nearby. 4 women, 4 babies and a toddler. I put together a tacos help yourself kind of lunch with veggie options and a chocolate tiffin for afters.

The other moms arrived first and the one with the toddler required changing. Remaining mom offered to mind the babies while I showed the other mom around, and j requested that she let the last mum in if she comes while we're upstairs.

Two minutes in, there's a racket from the front door. The original mum brought herself, her baby, DH, her sister, sister's toddler and another friend with a baby and a toddler. All of whom trooped into the kitchen with barely a hello.

By the time we came downstairs (5 minutes at a huge push), the lunch was reduced to crumbs. The mum who stayed downstairs managed to put together a wrap for the toddler, that was it.

Not only that, but then they settled themselves in while we tried to make the best of it over a cup of tea. In the meantime, the DH planted himself firmly in front of the TV, the two toddlers terrorised my cat, wiped their chocolate fingers all over my curtains and sofa and broke my favourite Jo Malone candle. The sister left used hygiene products all over the bathroom.

The original woman and her entourage finally departed. The other two ladies offered to help out, but they needed to feed themselves and this was my problem, anyway. DH and I just put everything back into place.

To add insult to the injury, the other mum just sent me a screenshot of the messages where the original lady complained the salsa was from sainsbury's and not from m&s. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, genuinely!

OP posts:
EmmyPankhurst · 26/07/2024 21:42

RTFT @EmmyPankhurst

FluentRubyDog · 26/07/2024 21:50

I suppose the one good thing is that, since they demolished a lunch whose quantities were projected to suffice for DHs and mine dinner, I have just discovered a Chinese takeaway doing original Chinese food.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 26/07/2024 23:02
Shock I can't believe how cheeky some people can be. I don't think I would have just let these people behave like that, and would have tried to make sure the original invitees had got some food. How long were you upstairs for?
FluentRubyDog · 26/07/2024 23:21

5 minutes max. The toddler in question had a poonami and needed cleaning up. I know, I couldn't believe it either!

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 26/07/2024 23:23

What did your other two mum friends say?

Sorry, but I'm a little too invested in this now.

voiceofastar · 26/07/2024 23:24

Cool story

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 27/07/2024 00:27

Ah well OP. You now know. You won't accept another invite to her house - and you definitely won't be asking her back to yours !

FluentRubyDog · 27/07/2024 00:41

RampantIvy · 26/07/2024 23:23

What did your other two mum friends say?

Sorry, but I'm a little too invested in this now.

They were shocked... we just kept looking at each other in disbelief... you'd think they (the rest of them) would have picked up on it by then, but no...

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 27/07/2024 04:29

Bloody hell... I genuinely don't have words!

MrHarleyQuin · 27/07/2024 04:36

God that's really odd OP. And I love your thread title.

I can still remember MIL inviting me to lunch when I was breastfeeding DD2 and only giving me one slice of toast with a spoonful of scrambled egg but your example takes the biscuit. And a biscuit would have doubled the calorie intake!

serialcatbuyer · 27/07/2024 04:42

My mum did this once. I had a friend staying for dinner and she gave us half a sandwich each. I was so embarrassed

Nightowl1234 · 27/07/2024 05:17

serialcatbuyer · 27/07/2024 04:42

My mum did this once. I had a friend staying for dinner and she gave us half a sandwich each. I was so embarrassed

@serialcatbuyer does she have issues with food? Or was it a money issue?

Nightowl1234 · 27/07/2024 05:18

This update is so wild it’s almost unbelievable. Who would act like that…?

serialcatbuyer · 27/07/2024 05:28

Nightowl1234 · 27/07/2024 05:17

@serialcatbuyer does she have issues with food? Or was it a money issue?

I don't think it was either. I have noticed when my son was younger she seemed to think he only needed really small meals