Invited to a sparrow's lunch

[FluentRubyDog]

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

Sounds like an eating disorder.

Yes, that's certainly what I would do.
Also, the bathroom mess? 😧

I mean look at this! Tried vinegar, dissolved laundry pod, ecover and vanish!!!

So you invited a mum and baby and 8 people turned up?? What did the rest of you eat? I don’t know what the worst bit- turning up uninvited, eating without everyone’s (not waiting for you to come down), eating the lot when there’s other guests or the behaviour of the toddlers!

Do you not think that this is poor hosting? I would be embarrassed to serve up what this woman served. If I didn't have enough food in the house to offer lunch I would just invite someone for coffee.

All in the space of 5 minutes? I don't understand.
Why didn't you question why strangers had arrived and were thrashing the place?

The toddler behaviour and bathroom incident happened afterwards, obviously. The hoovering up of food took place by the time we returned downstairs.

Hey, I'm living in a new town, barely know anyone on the new estate yet and I really wanted to make friends. Lesson learned.

Posting and running so not rtft yet but If you reciprocate and invite her to lunch you do what you would normally do. Don't change anything about yourself because of someone else.
Just be you x

Eating all that food in 5 minutes when the homeowner isn't even around? What's going on with your husband, he cleared up afterwards, but was he at work?
This is such a weird situation, I'm wondering what on earth is going on.

My husband was at work. Had a fit over the sofa later on.

Check if you can claim on your insurance for the sofa.

Read the update.

DH is on it... shame, because I really loved this one.

The amount I would just shrug about and eat something else when I got home but I would be judging that hideous excuse for cheese

I was extremly hungry when EBF so would've been out the door within half an hour of that lunch!

You could try water with washing up liquid on the sofa. Also toothpaste with a bit of bicarbonate of soda & rub gently may work.

What a strange lady she is!

I’m glad you discovered a good Chinese takeaway though.

At a work buffet it had those sandwiches, where the bread is cut into quarter slices (triangles) so I had four, because that's just two slices of bread worth. . A woman there absolutely ripped the piss out of me for taking so many ( there was loads and loads of food, so I had not taken food from others), laughed hilariously and went around telling everyone what a glutton I was for eating so much. She must have gone on about it for 20 mins working her way around the room with this hilarious story.

Some people are odd.

OP, your friend probably just doesn't eat very much at lunch and that is normal for her. Or she eats loads and was trying to serve what she imagined was a normal lunch for normal people.

And some people are very tight when they are providing and greedy when you are providing!!
I have a BIl and SIL that will invite everyone over and serve one saucepan of chilli to 10 people with very little else, 2 bottles of wine to go round( we always bring drinks anyway) and yet when they come to us they pile their plates high and drink loads! We have to be tactical and hold food back or else nobody else gets a look in.

I once was invited for lunch to a neighbour's house and the lunch was one egg mayo sandwich between two of us that she'd BOUGHT from Tesco. It was bizarre. You have to wonder what on earth goes through people's minds.

It depends if it was a spur of the moment thing, rather than a planned lunch. If I have a mate over for a cup or tea and a chat I'll always offer food but it will probably just be a sandwich or something simple. If I've specifically asked someone round for lunch with a few days notice, I'll ask what they want and make sure I've got that in.

A sandwich though, she didn’t get her own sandwich.

Please tell me you're not going to maintain this "friendship".

She'll be lucky to avoid a bill for the sofa, let alone friendship!

Went to a very quirky wedding near Lindisfarne, they ran out of food and drink and when it came to our serving we were offered Hula Hoops. The band refused to play anymore as there was nothing for them and the location was so cold we wore our yachting jackets over our wedding clothes. We left early and went to the local pub and ordered huge plates of fish and chips.

If you enjoy her company, just invite her over and serve whatever you'd normally serve for lunch.

But if she invites you back, I'd eat before you go.

Or go to a cafe and then you can both choose whatever you fancy.