Wfh during summer hols with young children

[Jeannie88]

At what age do you think being able to properly wfh can be done while looking after your children? Just curious as a few friends in whattsapp group. Some say it's fine as 5, 6, 7 year olds can amuse themselves, others say their 5/6/7 year olds need constant attention. The debate is should they put them into nursery, holiday clubs etc. They do have the luxury of parents being able to help and take them out, so not all day every day having to parent.

Personally, I have responded with alternating days, so a child free day get lots done, next day less. I did also point out that those who don't wfh have no choice and need to rely on childcare or family help if lucky to have it.

For those who have partners who wfh as well it can be managed but when DP out at work it's difficult and stressful.

What do you think would be the best option? I would find it taxing to wfh and look after DC and would certainly consider some days of childcare and willing to pay for it, even 2 or 3 days a week, or full steam working and take DC out on the evening and weekends for fresh air and exercise.

It's not easy these days with both parents working during holidays 😕

It isn't possible to be a decent parent and WFH professionally with children under ten. Something will give and organisations will start removing WFH because of CF.

Christ didn't we see the impact of COVID in the kids now parents are willingly doing this? And yes money etc but you know what this isn't the solution.

Dd is 7. She can be left for short periods of time (say an hour or so) and will be OK entertaining herself. But no way would I be happy to leave her all day while I wfh, unless she's poorly and I have no other options. We use a cm, so we have cover for term time and holidays. Ds was about 9 or 10 by the time Covid hit and we had him home with us while we both worked from home. I remember thinking at the time "thank God I don't have a younger child with me while I try to work" (we were able to use cm for dd as I was a key worker and she was able to justify it by saying it would be a safety hazard to have a then 3yo at home with us while we attempted to work). Ds was pretty self sufficient by then 9/10.

I would say in general primary school child no. Though a lot will depend on the size of your house and where in it you wfh.

I have a laid-back, chilled and easygoing 6yo and a toddler. I've been able to wfh with the 6yo for short periods since they were around 3/4 but it comes at a cost to their wellbeing, which I recognise. So I wouldn't do it from choice for long periods, more for the occasional call/meeting on my days off.

My 6yo would probably be happy to go away and not bother me for long periods but that would be because they are on screens/watching TV and supplied with snacks. If they're playing independently, they'll manage half an hour here and there, but will need help occasionally thinking up activities or will want input with their game. Compared to their friends, 6yo is reasonably good at playing independently without adult intervention, but still I couldn't switch them "off" for the hours I'd need to get my work done without resorting to screen-time.

Toddler is completely hopeless. They sit on my knee during video calls as a reminder to everyone else that I'm doing this on my own time and could we please wrap up quickly.

And wfh with a poorly child is completely different. If they're under the weather, they're usually happy to sleep/read/watch TV and it's a one-off. The alternative is taking the day off completely, which would inconvenience my colleagues more than having me only working at half-speed.

It's a no with my two 6yr olds

Kids are different - some kids are more independent than others of the same age. Siblings change things, and what resources they have (will they ride their bike for hours at a time around the yard or play with a neighbour etc). But, if you can’t ignore your children for the bulk of the day then they aren’t independent enough for you to be working.

If you are impacting your colleagues by interrupted work then it’s not fair to plan that. And if you’re not getting your work done, then it doesn’t work as a plan.

Personally I’d be pissed if an employee or colleague thought it was ok to just half arse their job for 10+ weeks a year cause they got kids. And I’d think it reasonable for my colleagues to object if I half arsed my work for that long because I had something more important to me to do. The odd day, even a few in an emergency sure. But school holidays are scheduled years in advance - you need a proper plan.

I completely support extending leave so that school holiday gap is smaller.

It's not fair to keep young children cooped up all day. I definitely wouldn't do a full time job wfh and look after children, at all.

I think siblings increase rather than decrease the need for supervision as they're a major source of injury and arguments.

I don't think you can work from home effectively in the 13 weeks of school holidays with children under secondary age.
I know childcare is expensive but it's needed.
I had to wfh with my 2 during covid and quite frankly it was a bloody nightmare for me that I've still never caught up with.

The football one does 9 to 3 but most are a range of unhelpful times and not everyday mon-friday. Depends on your annual leave but even 50 days isn't covering all the school holidays plus anything extra life throws up appointments/broken bones/lllness. Its all such a stressful struggle I'm baffled why its still like this it seems so outdated.

Most people also have to use their annual leave to cover school holidays. If there are two parents this is usually at least 50 days between them

DH and I get 60 days between us. 13 weeks of school holidays a year + 5 teacher training days = 70 days. So that's a minimum of 10 more days to find, if we didn't spend any of our annual leave together for the whole year. Then there's teacher strikes, child illness, snow closures, early finish at the end of term and whatever else on top.

As pp have said, holiday clubs are great but the hours are often short, spaces are limited and they will take your money but then won't take your DC if they are unwell/have SEN/hate it there.

Yes it's really not good to wfh with children around but it's not hard to see why poeple end up doing it.

Really depends on the job you are doing and the child. If it is a job that can be done at any point in the day with no need for specific meetings and time specific things you could probably do this with an 9 year old. If you are having to work strictly to a traditional 9 to 5 time frame then I think 11 or 12. Even then is a bit rubbish for the child if it is everyday.

I earn £130k for a full time, fully remote job, that gives me 3 days a week off and is fairly family friendly. So we have a lot of quality time. I’m not about to switch to part time or become a housewife to meet other (mainly white women’) views of what mothers should be like.

I don't think people are suggesting becoming a housewife but putting him in childcare while you work?

What's with the casual racism there?

No one is suggesting you become a housewife or indeed that you reduce your hours at all

Depending on the child I’d say somewhere around 9 or 10. DD8 still interrupts and moans about being bored which is very distracting. DS5 there is no chance - holiday club finishes at 4 so the last hour I spend on admin only with no meetings but even that is hard!

you are free to meet non-white women you know?

As a £130k fully remote job is more than enough to afford childcare, that's a non-issue for you, so what are you whinging about?

My youngest is 9 and this is the first summer I've felt like I could fully WFH with her there. I won't though because it's not fair on her - will share care with DH, grandparents and me.
In the past I have done a lighter day 2 days a week then made up the time the other 3 days while she's with grandparents

At my company, anyone found to not have childcare for children primary aged and younger would face consequences. It's company policy.

Not necessarily true. Depends on the child. When my youngest was 4 he wanted to be at home. He hated nursery.

The first summer we had dd home she was 10yo and it was because of Covid. It was not good. We muddled through because like everyone else, we had no other options.

we started using holiday camps again at age 12, though at that point it wasn’t so much child care as just to have her not be bored. We mostly did every other week. we did that for ages 12 and 13

young children need to be in child care. Your work deserves your full focus and your children deserve attention as well.

the sexism that women can manage to work and care for children simultaneously is appalling. It is sexism because it is almost always women put in this position.

I imagine he wanted to be at home with a parent who can give him attention though, not at home with a parent who has to ignore him for most of the day because they are working.

Not sure impressed is the right word poor kids.