Wfh during summer hols with young children

[Jeannie88]

At what age do you think being able to properly wfh can be done while looking after your children? Just curious as a few friends in whattsapp group. Some say it's fine as 5, 6, 7 year olds can amuse themselves, others say their 5/6/7 year olds need constant attention. The debate is should they put them into nursery, holiday clubs etc. They do have the luxury of parents being able to help and take them out, so not all day every day having to parent.

Personally, I have responded with alternating days, so a child free day get lots done, next day less. I did also point out that those who don't wfh have no choice and need to rely on childcare or family help if lucky to have it.

For those who have partners who wfh as well it can be managed but when DP out at work it's difficult and stressful.

What do you think would be the best option? I would find it taxing to wfh and look after DC and would certainly consider some days of childcare and willing to pay for it, even 2 or 3 days a week, or full steam working and take DC out on the evening and weekends for fresh air and exercise.

It's not easy these days with both parents working during holidays 😕

My 7yo is disabled and waiting for a school place - we recently moved LAs. We have developed a very strict routine for the day, which helps him feel less anxious and helps me juggle my workload. I am lucky in that I work for a company based in North America, so my entire team doesn't come online until 2pm my time. This gives me a lot more flexibility than I would have otherwise. I complete my projects on time and to a high standard, there isn't any question about my value to the company. But I take that flexibility seriously and will work into the evening or have an early start during breakfast in order to complete projects. We have a big garden that he can run about in, which I'm grateful for. That in itself has made a huge difference to my ability to function - his anxiety levels are so high at the moment he can't really cope with any activities outside the home, so he's happy and occupied most of the time. I genuinely wouldn't be able to function in a smaller house/garden space - I know, because he's been out of school before in our old house.

I wish I didn't have to juggle childcare and WFH, my days wouldn't feel nearly as taxing if he was in school, but it is what it is. And hopefully only temporary, although at this rate he won't be in school until Sept or later. :(

Similar here. I’ve tried to arrange holiday/sports clubs up until end of Year 8, or they just spend most of the day on a screen. Some people are ok with that but for me it’s a last resort.

It’s fine for after holiday camp ends at 3pm.

DS is 10 in year 6 and I will only have him at home with me an occasional day during the holidays. If we've had a really busy weekend then a lazy Monday at home while I work isn't so bad as he will just play on PS4 and chill.

Other than that he goes to sport holiday clubs which he enjoys. He gets to be active, spend time with people and then come home and chill. It's better for him and better for me.

I get good annual leave and no restrictions on when I take it so I always get a decent amount of the holidays off with him

We did try letting him have an occasional day at home while I was working when he was 9 but he didn't enjoy it as he felt lonely.

My child is older now but that's the approach I would have taken if WFH with primary or younger age kids.

I started doing it when DS was about 11.

It wasn't every day either, it was 2 days a week. Instead of booking off 2 weeks in a row I booked 2 days off every week, so I only worked 3 days a week for the duration of summer holidays. 1 day I would go into the office and he'd go to a holiday club, and 2 days I would wfh.

I think it depends on the child, how independently they play and how they feel about being ignored for hours each day and each week.

No way I’d have been able to do my job properly when mine were under 8. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids or my employer, or my colleagues

I tend not to do it much except odd days even with a 10 and 12 year old but do use WFH to my advantage, for example they’re signed up to an athletics camp this week so need picking up at 3 so I just take my lunch break then and pick them up and then they’re okay amusing themselves for a few hours until I finish.

it’s fine for odd days and a few hours but even at 10 & 12 the day would revolve around a lot of screen time if they were here all the time, which I try to avoid.

Poor kid. And I bet your employer wouldn’t be happy if they found out.

I am a contracted home worker for an organisation where 80% of staff have been homeworkers for around 20 years. The organisation is very much family first and it is happily accepted that people will, on occasion, have kids around while they're working for home, need to duck out, shift hours around etc. That said, we're quite strict on how much time my son spends at home while we're working (my husband is also a home worker). We take 2 weeks leave in the middle of the school holidays to go away. The 2 weeks either side of this my son (aged 8) goes to science/sport camps. The first and last weeks of the school holidays we do let him have a few days at home to recharge after term has ended/before he goes back to school Those weeks he'll do a couple of days of playscheme and then have a couple of chill days where he can hang out/play/watch TV etc and we usually take him out for lunch on those days too. We both pretty much control our own diaries so we can work it to make sure that if one of us has a meeting, the other is free. It seems to work quite well for us/him.

IME the odd hour or 2 at 7/8/9, the odd day @ 10/11/12 is ok. Until then they need proper dedicated childcare. 4 is just mad.

I think this too. My oldest is 9 in 2 weeks and I think I could go for hours without needing to do anything providing he was in the house/garden and I had half an ear out.

My youngest is 7 in 2 months and still needs me for things like making toast or because he's lazy and won't get himself some squash. It would be fine if I was only occupied in small bursts though and he had his brother to amuse him but then there is the risk of me needing to intervene during the squabbles. I don't feel like I would get any quality work done so it would really depend on the job.

Really though I think 10+ to be able to almost guarantee they wouldn't need you for anything at all.

It doesn’t matter how efficient you are at your job, what does matter is that a child is cared for, supervised and not left to their own devices for hours on end. Leaving a 7 yr old unsupervised for even a couple of hours is neglectful.

This is an unhelpful response to a parent in a very difficult situation. I'm sure the poster would much prefer to have their child in school but doesn't have that option right now. Presumably they can't afford to give up work either.

I have an 8yo and 5yo. I do odd bits of work with them at home e.g. log on to an important meeting for an hour. They will sometimes play happily and other times go on screens. It's less stressful than a year ago. I wouldn't be able to do it for more than that though, they would need my attention. My job involves being 'on' most of the time e.g. meetings etc so I can't keep stopping or making time up later. Friends with similar age kids have them at home for odd days e.g. inset days but it's stressful and they don't do it for whole chunks.

I think the age at which you let them play out unsupervised with friends is a good guideline. It means they're capable of entertaining themselves and don't need your constant support and attention. That's not to say send them out while you work, just it's a good reference point.

Don't do what some parents do and send them to their friends' houses uninvited every day. From experience of being that friend's mother, it wears thin very quickly, especially when the child announces they can't play at their house because mummy/daddy is working.

My eldest is 7 and I could do the odd day if I had no other option but not if I could avoid it! Last school hols I had to have her with me for 2 hours during one working day as my parents had an appointment. Those 2 hours were so stressful trying to work at the same time as her moaning she was bored.

I'd say late primary school, before that it's not fair to kids or employer, apart from odd days.

Me and DH have both done the odd days here or there from DC1 being 3, but that was pretty much always when they were ill, so it was ok to leave them parked in front of films all day.

To avoid an otherwise unhealthy reliance on screens, I would say age 5+ but even then we would only do it for the odd day here or there if necessary, certainly not regularly. My DC is 6 now and I've opted to put them into holiday club for the 4 days of the holidays that we couldn't cover with annual leave, even though I will be WFH on those days. They will have a more fun day there and won't be parked in front of screens. However if we were in the unfortunate position of having to pay for many weeks of holiday childcare then I would keep her home a few days of it whilst I worked to save on costs tbh, so I can sympathise with those that do.

Exactly this. Mine is Y4 and can now finally cope with the odd day but for the summer holidays I’ve booked her into clubs. Some of these are half day but most are full day/ school day. She’ll have more fun at clubs with friends than hanging around at home watching us work in any case.

I don’t know about over 5 yr olds, but my 5 yr old needs quite a bit of attention when at home. No way id get much done work wise (chores- I involve him so they get done).

@Jeannie88 This is one of the reasons wfh is a really bad idea from the employers perspective!! how can you do your work while looking after children??? something has to give and it is usually work so this is not fair on the employers who are paying the wages!

Feel free to help me source a SEN-friendly childcare option in my area, during school hours, available immediately! I'd love the support!

My child is only 2 years old so he goes to nursery. But I really don't think I'd be keeping him out of clubs/ organised activities for long periods over the summer while I wfh for a long time. I think he'd be stuck in front of a screen and I'd do a half arsed job.

I am lucky I have a relative with similar aged DC we have said when they are in primary we will probably do a week of 'holidays' at each others homes for the kids. Then DH is a farmer so I would think DC will want to be out farming. But I will sign him up for what ever camps he is interested in too.

Realistically, you can’t work from home with a child under age 10/11 and give your work 100% attention as required or expected. Either the child will suffer, you will suffer, work will suffer etc.

End of, anything else is nonsense and unrealistic . Younger children are likely to interrupt for attention in the form of needing or wanting something, asking questions, being bored or wanting a lift etc etc. Anything else is nonsense and people trying to save money and hoodwink employers.

I guess I say 9 because that’s the age mine were (twins) when covid hit so they had to home school and wfh. We just had to but it wasn’t too bad them being home (the schooling bit was horrific but not relevant for summer hols).