Wfh during summer hols with young children

[Jeannie88]

At what age do you think being able to properly wfh can be done while looking after your children? Just curious as a few friends in whattsapp group. Some say it's fine as 5, 6, 7 year olds can amuse themselves, others say their 5/6/7 year olds need constant attention. The debate is should they put them into nursery, holiday clubs etc. They do have the luxury of parents being able to help and take them out, so not all day every day having to parent.

Personally, I have responded with alternating days, so a child free day get lots done, next day less. I did also point out that those who don't wfh have no choice and need to rely on childcare or family help if lucky to have it.

For those who have partners who wfh as well it can be managed but when DP out at work it's difficult and stressful.

What do you think would be the best option? I would find it taxing to wfh and look after DC and would certainly consider some days of childcare and willing to pay for it, even 2 or 3 days a week, or full steam working and take DC out on the evening and weekends for fresh air and exercise.

It's not easy these days with both parents working during holidays 😕

"Personally, I have responded with alternating days, so a child free day get lots done, next day less"
I wonder if you would feel the same way if it was your business and this was your employees attitude. If you can't do your job as you would without your kids home, they should be in childcare.

I think it’s a pretty rubbish summer holiday for kids under 10 to be left to their own devices (quite literally in some cases) for a full working day, 5 times a week for 6 weeks. Because in truth, if people are working properly, then at best you are only interacting with them for a few mins each hour or two and an hour at lunchtime.

I know holiday clubs can be expensive, so I understand that some people can’t afford them. But it’s a bit sad if they are just at home all the time. It’s certainly not abusive though, as some over the top PP suggested!

Last year, 3 parents and we joined together and did a week each looking after all the kids. It was exhausting when it was your week, but it meant 4 weeks for the kids hanging out together and doing fun stuff, and it was just one painful week of having to be in charge but 3 weeks of being able to focus on work. Timing of everyone’s holidays away means it won’t happen this year, so it’s a mixture of annual leave and clubs to get us through.

My colleagues with young children are pretty much all doing this - from around 4 up. They're never contactable when anyone needs them and all claim to be working in the evenings. Mysteriously there's little evidence of any work done when everyone logs back in the next morning though.

I do a mix with my 8 year old. I think 8-6 kids club every day is quite hard on him but chilling at home while I work can be boring and he would have way too much screens. My good balance is 2 days chill out, 2 days at clubs when i go to the office and then often a day with grandparents. The chill out days we put rules in on screen time and also set him a few jobs to do and find some non screen stuff for him like craft kits, colouring
or garden games. I tend to start work early, take a long lunch where we might go for a walk or play a game then after work I often take him to the park.

Depends on the child, but the odd day here and there to plug a gap in your childcare is generally doable from the start of primary school. Much more than that is taking the piss job-wise and a bit rubbish for the DC.

Sometimes both me and DH WFH on the same day- we stagger our start/finish times and breaks to cover each others meetings and give DC more attention (and less screen time). Works quite well.

This is why so many employers don’t like wfh. You can’t do your job whilst looking after a child under 10-12

There are no 8-6 holiday clubs round our way, they are 8.30-3 at best and once you factor in travel (which is inevitably the wrong direction for work) it's not that much more productive than WFH.

I wfh for 2 days last year with my then 8 year old. Had club booked but she claimed to be ill and wouldn’t go. Youngest went to club and it was a pretty easy day where oldest chilled out with a book. It was fine with one child who needed some down time as our holidays are usually very packed with clubs and actual holidays and actually she just wanted to relax at home which I think is very valid. I wouldn’t do it with both kids because you could guarantee they’d have a massive falling out when I was doing a presentation to management and so not work the stress on me. But that said I did in Easter book them for 2 half days of tennis club. Then they came home we all had lunch and they played quietly for an hour and then watched a film (3h Harry Potter!)

I wouldn’t do it for whole days at a time as we don’t have a garden and feels incredibly mean to keep them cooped up for 8 hours and obviously I couldn’t take them out.

but it should be a holiday for kids with a good balance of downtime at home as well as clubs ideally. I worry I ‘work’ my kids too hard with too many activities and not enough chill out time at home so would like to try to address that balance

My work says we shouldn't have primary age or younger children in the house (unless another adult is looking after them) while working from home. My boss will turn a blind eye for emergencies but would not consider the school holidays an emergency. Also my 12 year old, who can pretty much look after himself and I'd barely know he was there, has asked to do a few days holiday club as he finds a whole day at home while I'm working boring.

There was a post on here a few days ago about a man that had to attend a gross misconduct hearing (with potential dismissal) as HR had downloaded his login data and when WFH he was doing an average of 2 hours a day less laptop time than he should have been. This is an extreme example (and the investigation was triggered due to poor performance) but I do wonder how many companies will start doing this if they get wind that childcare is being done during the school holidays for long periods of time

I don’t think it’s reasonable to have family life in the background if you’re speaking to a customer or client. If I’m discussing something sensitive, or anything else, I don’t want to hear your dog, partner or child. I’d want you to be focused on the issue we’re discussing.

I think it short changes everyone to wfh with young children. It’s telling that someone mentioned little evidence of work in the evening when you log on the following day.

My year 6 has just this last term started coming home as opposed to going to my In-Laws. He does homework / reads and has a little screen time whilst I continue to work. He also walks himself home so I don't need to collect him.

My year 4 and year 1 still go to thier grandparents on my work days. They'd be absolutely fine for me to work (I'd need to nip out and collect them though) but they'd be stuck in front of a device for a few hours as they aren't independent enough to manage their own time... they'd be straight at the iPad. They'd also need me to sort snacks and drinks etc and they'd generally be a bit of a pain. In contrast, you wouldn't even know older DC is here!!

Mine are 6 and 8 and I will do the odd day but not days on end with them. I'd feel bad for them to be ignored two days in a row.
Mine are off today as their school is a polling station. They are amusing themselves in the garden right now. I can see them out of the window.

I think it also really depends on the child. My eldest won’t leave me alone for 5 mins, let alone a few hours after school so it wouldn’t be possible! Also, arguments break out really quickly

Thank you everyone. I agree that it isn't the best option to try to do both simultaneously. It means neither the job nor dc get full attention and stressful! Xx

What is the actual answer though? Especially for those that don't have any family or friends to help. Sen children who won't tolerate clubs/clubs don't exist for them. Areas where clubs are limited/only 9 till 1.

Just don't have a job because the school holidays are a nightmare? (Term time also tricky for Sen)

I work for myself and I work in the evenings when my children are asleep. I earn peanuts. One being Sen there's no way I could work productively whilst also caring for them. They all don't like clubs so we limit to say 2 for the whole holidays. They are limited either 9 till 1 or bloody football club which mine couldn't care less about. I can't figure out how anyone in these situations is suppose to work other than a term time school job which seems pretty limiting if that's not your chosen career. Unpaid leave seems like a option but many can't afford it and many companies are absolutely not up for someone being off for chunks of weeks at a time.

The flexible jobs where you can wfh usually you have to prove yourself /work your way up/senior roles before you're getting access to any flexibility- finish work/project's in the evening etc
so if you've already got childcare needs or starting your career from scratch you're screwed.
Am I missing something? It just feels a impossible situation.

I put my nearly 7 year old in holiday club even on my wfh days. In an emergency I could do it for a day but it would be the last resort/if alternative plans have fallen through. As much as my DS is independent and can get a drink/snack when he wants, its still hard work making sure he isn't doing something he shouldn't while trying to work at that age.

This summer DS has 2 x 4 day weeks in holiday camp (the 5th day we are all off for long weekends), 1 and half week with grandparents, 1 week with me and half a week with DH. There is the odd day I might have to do an hour with him at home after he is dropped off from a playdate/early camp finish but I only work 6 hours so will just start earlier and finish earlier if needed.

I've got a 9 yo and a 7 yo and I am trying working from home with them at home for the first time this summer, but only for 2 separate days! I don't think it's right to do this all summer. The kids would be bored and pester me! I've booked a combination of actual leave, holiday activity clubs and sharing some childcare with friends the rest of the hols.

Y6 so 10-11 at the earliest.

Anything else is taking the piss and the reason why so many employers ask for people to go back to the office. It's a shame everyone ends up missing out because of a few CF but it's unavoidable.

As a one-off, it's not the end of the world but on a regular basis it's not doing your job properly and is not looking after your own child either.

You have young children, they need childcare, it's not difficult.

This is an excellent idea. I really think more parents should do stuff like this, swap babysitting etc. when people talk about needing a village I feel like this is the practical ways that a village work.

My workplace says no kids under 12 at home whilst WFH, for caring purposes. Emergencies are different, of course, but overall, you're expected to not be trying to care for primary school aged kids, whilst working.That probably feels about right, as otherwise it's difficult to give the appropriate attention to either kids or work.

Mine is 5 and I have him 50 50. I have 2 weeks of AL during the holidays, one to look after him whilst his dad goes on holiday, and one where I am taking him on holiday.
Due to me having him for a full week, DS dad is having him a week in return. So there's 3 weeks covered .
The other weeks I have taken the odd day AL so he will be at home with me maybe 2 or 3 times over the 6 weeks whilst I work. My job does not involve a lot of calls or meetings generally

DD is 6 and I’ll do it for the odd hour between a holiday club finishing and one of us finishing work but not for a whole day. She would be sat on my knee asking me a million questions and trying to play with my mouse 😂

Are there really no holiday clubs that do full days? That seems very unusual.

Most people also have to use their annual leave to cover school holidays. If there are two parents this is usually at least 50 days between them.

DD is 7 and I can do it for short bursts but really no longer than an afternoon. And I find it very stressful. I save all year for summer holiday childcare.