To think a lot of men aren't that bothered about women being ultra slim?

[Voilafrancais]

From what I've seen around me, men seem to be happiest with average-sized/curvier women.

A colleague of mine is a football player and very into fitness and his girlfriend is quite overweight, they've been together 6 years.

A man I liked who is quite thin, he wasn't interested. His ex is at our workplace and is significantly overweight.

I know this sounds nasty and rude, it probably is. However I feel like on the whole men aren't that bothered about women having figures like Victoria's Secret models, and personality is more important.

I mean all boobs are fat so...
I don't know why being a 16/18 would make me sweaty or slow. I play wing attack in netball! Add the spin classes to that and the weights I lift
Overweight doesn't mean unfit or doesn't exercise

@spikeandbuffy I know dress size alone isn't a marker of fitness - everyone has a different frame! I said mean things because so many were mean about slimmer women on this thread. But I regret my childishness, I would make a terrible politician or public figure!

But surely boobs are glands, which are surrounded by different quantities of fat on different people. And of course there are many different factors contributing to health and fitness, of which weight and % body fat is only one.

This thread just got horrible and nonsensey pretty quick. And I got sucked in.

I think if you're slim there's the expectation you can roll with it. Because let's face it, apart from a tiny minority who can't gain weight for medical reasons, most slim women who believed in what the OP was saying could turn themselves into 'curvy' (ie overweight) women if they wanted to. Its an extremely easy thing to achieve, indeed often happens without any effort at all, so hardly aspirational in the way slimness is thought to be.
I highly doubt any slim women reading this are going to become so unhappy with their bodies they make a rush for the cakes, because either they don't care what men think, or they believe OP is wrong.

I don’t think that’s a fair expectation though. As a slim woman, I’ve been subject to some really horrible and nasty comments. Some shouted out to me publicly in my work place with groups of people laughing at it, when I was only a teenager. I spent most of my younger years believing there was something wrong with me. I went to see a GP about it (he laughed and said my weight was healthy) tried to go on various diets to gain weight (both healthy and unhealthy) and they didn’t work out for one reason or another. Either, I didn’t like he little energy I had or the weight didn’t go where I wanted it to.
If I go through a period of stress, I lose my appetite and eating becomes a struggle. Then I lose weight and then I stress about that and it becomes a vicious circle.
I am not trying to diminish the struggles of people who are overweight and try and fail to lose it at all… I’m saying that it’s not as cut and dry as “because you’re slim, you should just put up with other women being bitchy about your size”
especially when you can’t help it.

@spikeandbuffy

God men are thick . A woman no matter what her size or what she looks like will always find men eager to sleep with them .

I think men most prefer women with bmi 21-27.

Does it? The 1st trimester doesn't 'show'

I can appreciate why this happened. I read the thread last night and I have to admit as a slim woman it did get my back up a bit even though I'm really happy with my body. There are a lot of posts on this thread that denigrate slimmer women's bodies. I know I had negative comments about my weight as a teenager and years later seeing grown women saying the same sort of thing, its not nice. It's big of you to own up and accept responsibility.

Well clearly they are wanted or they wouldn't get any work

I think the point was that women’s fashion is a man’s world. The women are just the models, even if we don’t like the clothes. We wear what these men tell us we should wear and being male and influential, everyone goes along with it. The Victoria secret angels are a good example of this

Well firstly, the entire thread was about how women "ought" to look if they want to attract a man- thats why. If it was a thread about how men should look to be acceptable to women so they will want to date them, I would have said the exact same thing about rude comments directed towards men.

Secondly, men dont have nearly as much pressure on them to look a certain way. I cant even name one male model but I can name at least 20 female ones off the top of my head. I also dont ever recall a magazine article discussing aspects of a man's appearance saying that "he's let himself go" or criticising him for his appearance when for women, I see it on an almost daily basis. There has been an increase in men's grooming adverts for example, but nowhere near the ridiculous amount as there is for women telling us how we should look, what type of bodies are currently "in" etc.

Look at films- I've seen loads of films where the leading man is bald, old, and not "buff"- whilst the female characters are young, immaculately made up, young and often in skimpy clothing. I have also never seen a man heckled or catcalled by a group of women commenting negatively on his appearance. Maybe it does happen, but nowhere NEAR the ludicrous amount it happens to women.

When was the last time you hesitated to walk past a building site for fear of comments on the way you look?

Thirdly, I have not seen any men in this thread stating that their wives are making derogatory comments about certain men's body sizes but it has been mentioned the other way around - hence my comments about it being out of order.

I dont condone rude comments about anyone's body size no matter what their gender, but you are being wilfully obtuse if you dont recognise the pressure women have always been under to look a certain way for men, that just isnt comparable when you switch the genders.

As a petite non-curvy size 6, I've never get any male attention at all. When am out with friends it's always my curvier, heavier friends who get attention. It's always been like this for me and I don't know any other way tbh.

All men I have ever known preferred "some meat" I've been a size 6,8,10,12 currently a 18 and suddenly an Apple shape and mg husband met me at a size 12.

I've never had problems at any weight, except now I get treated by women horrendously! Women were kinder when I was a size 6-10!

I still won the school mum race with this belly though!

I don’t believe the billion dollar fashion industry does so well because men tell us what to wear and we just go along with it…🙄
And Victoria Secret models have healthy looking bodies with curves. They are obviously in the minority but it’s ridiculous to suggest they aren’t healthy or fertile looking.

Where are people even getting that the female fashion industry is run by gay men?? That’s a pretty outrageous statement seemingly based on the fact that they only know a handful of designers and they happen to be men.
Have these people ever seen the design team in a high end brand?
Or a high street brand?
Or a fashion pr company?
Or a fashion magazine?
It’s overwhelming female.

Spot on.

Perhaps people have not seen or heard about the VS angels

here you go

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/jul/12/angels-and-demons-exposing-the-dark-side-of-victorias-secret

it wasn’t me who said gay men. I said men. Kanye west is literally using his wives being naked in public to promote ‘fashion’. Women don’t go around doing this to their husbands

This 💯

This was my experience growing up too....I was made to feel lesser than and very ugly. It had completely destroyed my self esteem for years and I am only just starting to appreciate my body in middle age. All those wasted years hating my body that I couldn't help I regret. I've never been someone who got any male attention at all...but it used to make me think there was something wrong with me but now I don't care.
I've been called 'disgusting!' in the past for being thin (bearing in mind I've always been a healthy BMI) never underweight. From both men and women. And people would ask if I had a growth disorder etc etc .....

There’s a massive difference between a toned 21 year old woman and a curvy 40 year old and it’s not just the body shape Is it!

Personally as a 40 yr old man i find attractive 40 year old women far more sexy than attractive 21 year old women. I can register as attractive young women as attractive, but i don’t fancy them at all. There’s no real sex speak to me there. Give me an attractive 30-40yr old mum on the school run looking frazzled and in her casuals… that’s me happy

also I’m pretty sure there are plenty of 40 year old women that would rather have sex with a 21 year old hunk than your average 40 year old man.. if that were the sole basis of this hypothetical choice 😂

I think the sad thing here could be that people find confidence attractive. If other people have put you down your whole life for being ‘too skinny’ then that is sure to knock your confidence.
Not that attracting men is the be all and end all, but I find that low self esteem can hold people back in many areas of their lives and it makes me so sad that people did that to you

No love here for women who are a bit fat or chubby with no boobs! To me this is a very common shape, it's my own. Most people who are overweight don't have a curvy hour glass 50s movie star figure, I mean most people would be delighted with that.

My body is like Simone Ashley’s but overweight. I’m very tall, short waisted, small breasted, curvy hipped, and long legged. But while she looks stunning I look like a badly made cello 😩

Badly made cello! 😂

I’m sure you don’t.

Just asked DP, and he said he wouldn't date anyone above a size 10, preferring someone who is gym-fit or has a Victoria's Secret-like physique/looks. However, he does answer objectively when asked questions like this.
Just to qualify the model look is an image for a shoot, not a 24-hour reality.

How does that make you feel?

What is your size/shape? How old are you?

Does it make you feel a bit insecure that if you put weight on then he will not find you attractive anymore?

And how do you feel knowing that you are in a relationship with someone so shallow that if they were dating they would look at an accomplished woman who is size 14 and swipe passed "too fat"?

Absolutely not judging you for being with him but him giving me that information would make me look at him differently if I was you.

ETA cant be arsed to keep editing, please ignore the autocorrect fails and bad grammar, its been a long day!