Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

I wasn't as did say anything but would I have been if...

133 replies

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 13:47

I told the woman who let her 2 small-ish (but old enough to be told) hildren to stop staring at me whilst I was naked in a communal shower at the gym?

I didn't cover myself up as didn't think about it at the time but I did feel like perhaps I should have afterwards and felt a bit guilty.

I heard one of them say "mummy there is someone in the shower" and then they both came abck for a curious look.. now if it were me and dd I would have called her back and said to dd something like "please don't stare, concentrate on what you're doing" instead ofleaving her there to have a good old stare at naked woman..

They were there for a fair while.

Would I have been unreasonable to call out to the mother that I was naked and perhaps she might want to stop her children staring at me?

What is the etiquette with stare-y children and nakedness in these situations?

OP posts:

macdoodle · 10/04/2008 13:50

I just ignore it and give them a big grin and wobble my hige tits and flabby arse then they get so scared they stop looking LOL afraid YABU MOH its a communal shower and kids will always be curious (not so keen on the not so little boys though TBH and wish their mums would use the family showers)

S1ur · 10/04/2008 13:52

It wouldn't/doesn't bother me and I wouldn't assume it was an issue for someone else's child to see me naked in a communual shower. So I wouldn't ask other woman to shift dcs. Children stare. They're good at it.

moondog · 10/04/2008 13:54

Oh fgs.
Get a grip.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 10/04/2008 13:56

There is a sign in the shower at our local swimming baths which says something like:

"please be aware that some of our customers feel uncomfortable with nakedness, so retain your modesty at all times. Also, please be aware that young children WILL stare at a naked person"

it always makes me giggle to myself.

Anyway, if it had been my children, I probably would have suggested that they stop staring, but it is what kids do.

And it was a communal shower - so almost a public place

So, perhaps YAB a tad U

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 13:56

probably should have explained that although the shower is communal (as in 6 showers in a box) it is tucked away from the main changing area bit so if you are in the changing room you can't see into the shower (iywim)

I just felt bad afterwards that maybe I should have said something as I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with my dd have a 5 minute ogle at a naked women, brazlian and all..

OP posts:

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 13:57

why get a grip??

also I didn't say anything.. just asking if I should have let the woman know that I was naked.

OP posts:

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 13:58

or if it would have been rude to tell woman.

OP posts:

DirtySexyMummy · 10/04/2008 13:58

What?

Apart from being a really hard to read and understand title and post, you are being ridiculous.

Whats your problem? You decided to get naked in a communal shower and some small children were looking? And you want to know if it would have been unreasonable to say something to the mother?

Well, yes. It would have not only been unreasonable, but also ridiculous. As moondog said, get a grip.

DirtySexyMummy · 10/04/2008 13:59

Why would you care if your DD is looking at a naked woman? Why? I don't get it?

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 14:00

no no you have it all wrong..

I don't mind that they were staring but should I have said something to their mother that I was naked..

I'm asking what the etiquette is..

I'm comfortable with my body.

OP posts:

onepieceoflollipop · 10/04/2008 14:00

The mother is obviously familiar with the lay out of the gym and shower area.

Imo it is a little bit rude to stare at anyone regardless of what they are doing. Even if she would not have had a problem herself if someone else's dcs were having a good stare at her in the shower, perhaps she could have considered that some people may not appreciate it.

No way should you have felt obliged to cover yourself up. She knew where her children were, they informed her clearly that there was "someone in the shower" - she therefore made her choice to let them stand and observe.

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 14:01

I don't care if my dd looks at another woman.. I would just distract her so other woman didn't feel conscious about it if that makes sense..

you know it's a bit rude for kids to have a prolonged nosey at other people.

Am I making myself clearer? not sure..

shouldn't start threads like this at work.

Thread title should have read "I didn't say anythign"

OP posts:

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 10/04/2008 14:01

Do people often shower naked there?

If so, then there was no need to tell her as she would have assumed her you were naked anyway.

If people normally wear a swimming costume to shower, then maybe, but I still think not.

Not quite sure why you are getting flamed for this... have you been upsetting people on other threads?

S1ur · 10/04/2008 14:01

I think in a changing room, especially one with showers. It is obvious to anyone that there will be nudity. It isn't something you would ever need to point out.
If anyone had isshhooos with it they would presumably keep their dcs close by them possibly blindfolded.

onepieceoflollipop · 10/04/2008 14:02

The fact that you were in the shower should have given her some clue that you were probably naked! No need for an announcement from you to that effect.

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 14:03

LOL squonk yes not sure who I've been upsetting lol

I've never seen/known anybody else beside me to use the showers lol

OP posts:

S1ur · 10/04/2008 14:03

Flamed? two people disagree and say get a grip. Hardly time to wheel out the hydrants, no?

DirtySexyMummy · 10/04/2008 14:04

They are children.. why would you care if they stare?

Thats what kids do!

I don't understand your problem TBH. You are asking if you should have gone to the mother and said 'tell your children to stop staring at me as I am naked'?

S1ur · 10/04/2008 14:05

Don't think she is DSM.
I think it mpore should she have made a public safety annoucement in case other mother didn't realise their was adult nudity happening. To which answer is no, it is a changing room, nudity is a given.

S1ur · 10/04/2008 14:06

their there doh

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 10/04/2008 14:07

No I'm asking if I should have called out from the shower "Just to let you know I'm starkers" kind of thing.. it's very dark and dingy in there as the light hasn't worked for a year or more..

I was thinking of them and the mother more than myself.

In that if they went back out and said "mummy that lady was naked" etc and the mother had worried that I'd let her children stand there for 5 minutes while I washed without saying anything.

Have to go back to work now so probably won't post for a while.. just so you know I'm not off sulking lol

And just to re-iterate. I don't have a problem with any of it. just asking if I should have called out to mother or not because I didn't.

OP posts:

OverMyDeadBody · 10/04/2008 14:07

I don't think you need to worry that you should have said sometihng, you where in the shower after all, usually it goes without saying that people will shower naked!

onepieceoflollipop · 10/04/2008 14:07

A solution here

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 10/04/2008 14:08

okay, so maybe she's not getting flamed.

But I felt the responses that she was getting were quite harsh.

Unfairly so, imo.

onepieceoflollipop · 10/04/2008 14:08

Meant to add a - just to say yanbu.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6