To have asked nanny to take her shoes off

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My husband and I decided to employ a nanny for our 2 DC ages 1 and 5. This will be the first time we've used a nanny.

We interviewed a lady on Saturday. She arrived just as we’d got home from a walk and as usual we all took our shoes off as we came in. She left hers on though and my husband asked her to take them off when she walked into the living room. I’ll be honest it was a little awkward as I think it took her by surprise. They are newish carpets so I can see where he is coming from but I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it myself. I guess most people don’t expect to take their shoes off in an interview (even though it’s a house and not an office?).

Anyway, the interview went well and she had plenty of experience and qualifications and I’ve tried to contact her (yesterday and today) to arrange a taster session but she hasn’t got back to me. It’s such a minor thing but I’m guessing it put her off. I can’t think of anything else.

Did we do something wrong?

That's a bit of an overstatement and quite offensive. Do you ask your visitors to wash their hands as they enter your house or issue them with plastic gloves to wear? Or ask them to slip on a gown so that their bums, which may have sat on a bus seat, or a seat in a taxi used by people you don't know, doesn't pass germs on to the sofa where your DC may sit?

Never again will I take my shoes off in somebody's house in a work setting. Last time I did this I didn't realise that the client had a badly trained house rabbit. Standing in rabbit droppings barefoot is not an experience I ever want to repeat!

What exactly do you think is going to happen if I come into your house without removing my shoes? Surely I'm bringing in microscopic germs on my bare feet or socked feet anyway. Why would my shoes be any worse?

Horrible!

FWIW if I invited a stranger to my home where they might be the more vulnerable (by virtue of age, numbers, whatever) I would understand if they wanted to keep shoes on, keep their bag close, etc. And I would hope if I was putting myself in a vulnerable position in someone else’s home they’d be alive to that fact and make accommodations.

If this person is going to be looking after two young children they are going to be on their feet a LOT.

It’s unreasonable to expect someone to work a physical job barefoot or in slippers - its bad for the feet and can lead to serious long term injury and pain. If you have hard floors anywhere in the house it’s also dangerous for her to wear socks or tights without shoes. Slippers can also be a major tripping hazard if they are loose.

You should have had proper shoe covers ready or made a point of asking her to bring indoor only shoes if she were to work for you. Having friends round to sit shoeless on your couch is not the same as someone working 8 hours a day on their feet in your home.

I would feel uncomfortable if I didn't ask every time I go to someone's house, even though it never crosses my mind in my own house.

What? Looking after children is absolutely a job you can do barefoot (when inside), millions of parents do it every day

"People that tend to enforce such rules are people with other very alternative perceptions, obviously not everyone but I’d avoid like the plague…."

This. Firstly I would not expect to remove my shoes at an interview. Secondly, I would presume you were a fussy pair of buggers and that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

Just how amazing are your carpets?
I always think flooring is there for people. People are not there for flooring.
She was there for an interview, he should have put her at her ease.

Exactly 💯

I worked as a nanny years ago and would always go to take my shoes off before going in someone’s else- and would do unless they told me not to. Same as anyone’s house unless they were known for wearing shoes inside. I can’t think of anyone I know who does though.

Anyway no, being a nanny is not like care work where you need to wear shoes. I used to keep a pair of slippers at my nanny families houses so I didnt have to remember mine. If she is a nanny this really won’t be a thing she will have worried about.

This. Firstly I would not expect to remove my shoes at an interview. Secondly, I would presume you were a fussy pair of buggers and that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

We're generally a no shoes indoors house but not for a bloody interview!

Would you allow someone in a wheelchair into your house?

Parents are free to expose themselves to whatever risks they wish at home. For the nanny, the home is the workplace and as such the employer should take reasonable health and safety measures such as allowing appropriate supportive footwear.

I don't think it's the shoes off thing exactly but obviously it must have been the tone used as you said it felt quite awkward. I don't think it was the request that bothered her but the tone used. Also she might not want to do a taster session

I always think flooring is there for people.

I agree, but probably not in the way you mean. I like to sit on my carpet, lie on my carpet, do yoga on my carpet. It's there for me and I like to know it's clean and that it hasn't had any dirt from outside trampled into it.

It's flooring. People are going to walk on it.
If you have a shoes off policy, fine. However, if the occasional person kept their shoes on, I can't see any problems.
Mind you, I don't lie in my carpet.

This isn't the same at all. As you are a carer you are going into multiple people's houses throughout the day. They could be anyone or have anyone present in the home. Your employer can't vet everyone. Plus the people you are going into the home of aren't your employer.

I used to do similar home visits and the rule of shoes staying on was the same. It's to safeguard you as the employee when doing home visits to clients (often as a one-off in our case) so you can leave the home quickly if you need to. We also had other rules such as calling before and after the visit.

A nanny is employed by the people in the home and goes to the same place everyday to the same people. The risk isn't the same.

Yanbu. Shoes off at the door...strange otherwise..

If you asked as I arrived at the door I'd have been ok with it. If you waited until I was about to enter a room and reprimanded me like I should have known, I'd have ghosted you. Something about taking shoes off for an interview seems strangely intimate to me. I've only ever interviewed for and held one position as a nanny. I kept my shoes on for the interview, I took them off when I started working there (the children only put shoes on to go outside so it felt more normal). The family had hardwood floors in most of their apartment but I wasn't raised in a shoes off house so it wouldn't have occurred to me if they had carpets.

Yep.
Every Nanny I've ever employed has brought slippers and voluntarily taken their shoes off at interview. It's basic hygiene around crawling babies and infants who put things in their mouths.

Yup I’m a nanny I take my shoes off and wear slippers. Seriously who is staying in their shoes all day.

Nobody.
She went for an interview.

Who are all these mad folk who constantly tread in dog shit ? I can't remember the last time I did - probably when I was about 5 and I'm now 65. No one I know regularly treads in dog shit and randomly smears it all over carpets either.

Either people have got seriously cavalier (king Charles spaniel) about where they tread, or are deliberately treading in dog shit for (shits and) giggles, or the carpet panickers are imagining a problem which does not exist.

It’s absolutely considered madness to leave shoes on in the house in my family. If you invite someone in and they don’t automatically take their shoes off, then they stay by the front door on my mat I’m afraid. You are not walking any germs, dirt & grime through my gaff because you can’t be bothered to bend down.