To let my dd have days off school when she is tired/stressed/overwhelmed ?

[Mintgreenpeppermintcreams]

dd is year 9. Since she was in year 5 she has expressed on average 2-3 days per year that she felt she couldn’t go in to school. This doesn’t happen that much and she does have ASD. We feel it’s important to allow her this autonomy so that she can pace herself.

At times we have considered home educating her but she seems to know what she can and can’t manage and we would rather she stays in school. This year she has already had the 3 days off and needed the fourth of the year today. So it is increasing. The school aren’t happy but she is doing extremely well academically so it’s not affecting her in that way.

They have suggested that we actually stop allowing her these days but I’ve said no as we think it’s helping her avoid autistic burnout.

AIBU though? Is there another way or do others do this as I really feel it’s working well for her

4 days in a school year - I couldn't get my knickers in a twist over it

The alternatives are - burnout - distress - reluctance to speak to you / attend school even when 'well'

You're allowing your DD some autonomy and that, in the long term, will help her overall health and wellbeing. She's able to recognise when she's 'past that point' and this will stand her in good stead

Or maybe he can’t cope in the school environment and he is showing you that, loud and clear.