To be so fucking angry

[Crystallizedring]

DS had another settle at school today which was storytime with teacher. DH had to carry him in to school (frankly I'd have given up then as it was never going to go well with that start).
DS cried when DH left and stood by the door for the whole session which was 30 minutes long and DH picked up early. During his session DH talked to the head, who admitted they wouldn't be able to cope with DS very well. That he would need short sessions and long transition period.
None of this is a surprise, none of this is unexpected but I'm so angry, not with the school, but with the LA who refused to assess him for EHCP.
We are obviously challenging this but I'm just so angry. Every single professional who sees DS knows he has additional needs, every single professional has said he's going to need extra support or a special school place. How can they refuse to even assess him with so much evidence? What if they still refuse? Even if they agree to assess and put a plan in place it takes 20 weeks.
What is supposed to happen to DS in that time? How can they refuse to assess a non verbal 4 year old who is in nappies and has the emotional, social and intellectual age of a child half his age?
What are the school supposed to do when they have 29 other children to teach? We're supposed to have a meeting with school before the end of term to work out how to help DS but I don't know what they can do.
I am just so sad that DS is going to start school and be lost because the LA are too stupid to assess him.
The amount of anger I have is unhealthy. Am I being unreasonable to be so angry?

If a pre-action letter hasn’t work, the parents should follow through with pursuing JR proceedings.

@Crystallizedring yanbu at all, it is a ridiculous process. Sorry I haven’t read all the replies, but in case no one has explained it, a school needs to prove that they cannot cater to your sons needs with their current available resources, to get an ehcp. This is hard to prove until a child has been at the school for an around 6 months. I know that doesn’t help you right now though 😢

As retired Head + SENCO, schools are really good supporting children with SEN (with and without EHCP). Schools have to put £6k towards child’s support and one of the things they have to prove is that child needs considerably more than this £6k. Nurseries often find this hard to prove because of way they operate, so quite common to have first request turned down. Ask nursery/school to set up an Action for Inclusion meeting (or whatever it’s called in your area). EYFS specialist from LA plus any professionals involved with your child should attend and all work together devise plan for transition into school. It may be half days etc at first. Once child is in school, SENCo will begin to collect evidence to reapply for funding. Don’t worry, being turned down in nursery is quite common and it can be a long fight for you and school to get funding.

The only test OP needs to focus on at the minute is for an EHCNA and that legal test has been posted by Sirzy. Schools do not need to show more than £6k is needed. A child does not need to have attended school for 6 months.

Some schools are really good at supporting pupils with SEN. Some are not.

LAs are ultimately responsible for ensuring provision detailed, specified and quantified in F is secured under section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014. EHCPs can be fully funded, but LAs don’t do this unless forced.

Totally agree. I’m strategically voting Labour because we have a Tory-Labour tight race and Tories would be a disaster for the country. But if I was somewhere where Lib Dem’s could win then I would vote Lib Dem. They have the best education policy I’ve seen.

I can’t advise as it’s a slightly different system here but just wanted to offer a little hope as we were in a near identical situation with two of our children. One is now about to start his fourth year at a special secondary, the other who was so much ‘worse’ when starting primary is going to start mainstream secondary come September. Both are in the right place for them.
The system is broken and it’s not fair but you WILL get there, especially if the school is in agreement with you. You’re right to be angry but you’re already doing all the right things. I was so scared sending my son into a mainstream primary, unsupported, knowing the extent of his needs but ultimately that was how we ended up getting help and things moved pretty quickly come September of his first year. I know things will be pretty rough for you in the coming months but please don’t despair yet.

Why is 3 more important?
None of the things on your list are any less worrying than the other?

Do not know your financial situation, but have you given thought to a private assessment? I do not know the cost but it maybe worth looking into. I really feel for you, it is so frustrating when no-one is listening. I wish you the best and hope things get sorted out soon. It makes me so angry that we have to fight for everything these days .

It is a ridiculous situation sending children who obviously have complex needs to a mainstream school. The classes are already too big, what does the teacher do? Give their attention to the the one with SEN and ignore the other 35+ or vice versa, either way someone loses. Its a bit like hyper intelligent kids going to Oxbridge when they are 10, they are there and learning but not really getting the best out of the experience. They don't fit in with the rest of the students and can become very lonely and isolated.

Also kids can be cruel and hurtful and anyone who is a bit different stands the chance of being bullied, so deliberately putting a child who can't defend themselves into that sort of situation is just wrong.

After tomorrow at least there will be a new(ish) broom and someone might be bothered enough to sort this out for you. Sorry I heard oinking, oh, it was just a squadron of pigs flying past the window.

I really hope that everyone in this situation gets the help they need sooner rather than later. All children are supposed by able to get the education they deserve and need.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. My eldest dd had an ECHP plan from pre-school (profoundly deaf at birth) so it was put in place in good time as I think the diagnosis was easy to understand somehow -although I would point out even with a plan the support has been differing in terms of help throughout the years as schools don't seem to follow it quite as they should sometimes. Horrifically My niece on the other hand has been without an ECHP plan for 13 years despite needing one desperately it kept getting rejected (she has dyslexia, dyspraxia and ADHD) it was only after she refused to attend school for almost a year (tbh she didn't understand and couldn't keep up with the class work) they finally relented and issued one ... budgets are stretched and this could take a year to get approved once you get a bit further - my nieces took 29 weeks and that was fast tracked !!! The difference now though is incredible!
I hope you don't mind my opinion but keep the little poppet with you if you can and hassle MP /senco manager at your council etc in the meantime- you may find it does more harm than good and he will probably regress further if forced in that situation at school. Explain that to SEN team and refer back to professionals to support your appeal to look at it again and is there a charity that might offer assistance? For example I've often spoken to National deaf children charity for advice as a parent on education and they have experts that can assist - your paediatric doctor might know someone ? Good luck ! It's unfair but I hope you'll get a good result soon x

Thanks everyone. We're still undecided about what to do but we are looking at a nursery on Friday that has quite a few SEN children and a higher staff ratio, so that is a possibility.
Meeting with school next week (as we're keeping our options open) to discuss what they can offer.
Also meeting with old nursery next week with Senco to discuss the reports from the two Sencos who observed him. So it all depends on what gets said at these meetings. Although I'm leaning towards at least not sending him for the first couple of terms as I do worry about him coping.

Edited as have now read the thread

I had a very very similar situation with my late summer born DS and I can tell you what I did, warts and all.

So he presented very similarly to your child, mostly 18mths level in his EYFS assessments. Had very little language. Was on wait list for autism assessment (finally received that diagnosis two months before he started school). Our LA didn't refuse to assess, but did refuse to name specialist, which I knew would be a huge waste of everyone's time. He would not cope with the noise in the room, wasn't toilet trained and clearly needed 1-1 input to be able to access any learning at all.

I made the decision to keep him in nursery for an extra year while I fought out his EHCP with the LA, honestly IMO the wrong placement is way more damaging than no placement. And I knew he needed specialist, the visit to the specialist only further confirmed what I already knew. So we stalled, even though his care was crippling me and I had a newborn at home. I read the IPSEA website like a demon, bought a box file and started building my case, because I knew it was going to tribunal. And it did.

I am more proud of that tribunal bundle I submitted than any essay or thesis I've ever submitted in my life, it was meticulously researched, referred frequently to the Equality Act and had numbered supporting evidence. It was a beast of a document. It worked.

The July before his compulsory school age year was to begin, the LA conceded and named our preferred placement.

He's ten now and still at his specialist provision and probably will be until he's an adult. He loves it there, and he's treated with respect and love. That year of hell was absolutely worth it.

Our la is now averaging over a year, complaints and threats of judicial review used to be enough to speed things up but now they just ignore those too. Unfortunately it’s a long and potentially costly process to go down the jr route too

It need not be expensive. JR proceedings themselves for failure to comply with EHCP statutory timescales are brought in the child’s name. Therefore, the child can be eligible for legal aid in their own right. This doesn’t cover the pre-action letter. That is in the parent’s name, so no legal aid unless the parents are eligible, but SOSSEN can help with a pre-action letter for free. There is a wait, but not a year, for SOSSEN so some may choose to go elsewhere if they can afford it.

JR would resolve a straightforward case like failure to adhere to statutory timescales without waiting a year. Very few get to a full hearing.

I think the trouble is that this takes time, effort, and a certain degree of understanding/knowledge/competence to know where to source the right help.

I was the SEN school governor and we had lots of lovely parents who were really engaged who could not have followed this process without intensive support. Various reasons including English as a second language, low levels of literacy/education, their own mental health/medical issues.

And even if none of those are an issue, lots of SEN parents desperately struggle to cope with everyday life especially if their child is not having their needs met at school. It can be constant firefighting just to survive. Having the energy and time to pursue a JR is a huge ask in many cases.

We were talking about this issue on our local parent/carer board. Parents have to become experts in the law because they’re being failed so badly by the LA. Horrendously unfair situation.

My comment wasn’t about effort or knowledge. My comment was purely challenging the belief JR is expensive and takes a long time. Yes it takes time, but not over a year, and few actually get to a hearing.

Of course it takes effort. Everything involved in the SEN world does. And like everything SEN related, DC whose parents know the system and can advocate for them get better support. It shouldn’t be like that but it isn’t going to change in the foreseeable. That doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t be supported to challenge the LA’s unlawful behaviour rather than accept it.