To think this is absolutely joyless of nursery?

[Bettycrockered]

DD attends a private nursery and if you want to, on their birthdays you send them in with a shop brought cake and some candles. Everyone sings happy birthday and the cake gets shared out.

There is around 40 kids in the room, so an average of one birthday a week. By the time the cake is cut down to share, each kid gets a small cube of sponge and jam.

one of the parents via a nursery/parent forum has complained that they feel the cube of cake a few times a month is excessive sugar and so now there’s no birthday cake. On their birthday, the child sits in a chair and everyone sings happy birthday. Once a month the chef will instead bake a sugar free cake for each room and they have a little party instead.

AIBU to think this is totally joyless? DD doesn’t even like cake so I’ve seen the minuscule cubes of cake that come home with her. The meal plan at the nursery is really nutritious and varied - a little cube of sponge cake surely isn’t that big an issue? They could always alternate the children’s pudding with the cake rather than getting rid of it.

YABU - kids eat too much sugar as it is
YANBU - moderation is fine

We don't all get a choice

Yes and it’s pretty likely the child will be getting another birthday cake at home so I don’t get the uproar about not allowing it at nursery. Chance are, when they go to school, they won’t be allowed to bring in cake etc for their class anyway so I don’t see why parents expect it in nursery.

Our nursery bake a cake for birthdays, and I much prefer that. I think the birthday kid always a small individual cake, and the rest of the room get 1 max in a week. I wouldn't be happy with (disgusting flavourless sugary) shop-bought cake every week either.

If your kid doesn't like cake you might not see the issue, but mine is absolutely obsessed with cakes and biscuits, it's already a battle to control it at home, so we try to stick to high quality/ home made stuff, I don't need nursery to make it worse.

It is joyless. There was a thread on here a few months ago from the mum moaning about too much cake though

Utterly joyless and shortsighted, 'sugar free' is not healthy if it involves fake sugar that leaves the body craving real sugar. I honestly think the stuff should be banned.

What on earth is “sugar free cake”? Surely that’s just “a loaf”?

I am totally in the minority but I hate the amount of cake, sweets and shite they get. There are just so many times they get sweets and cake which you look like a tight bastard for saying no to.
I reckon mine have around at least 80 times a year they are given cake or sweets outside of the house. Before pocket money or holiday treats or puddings were included:
They went to a school where everyone had class parties 32 in the class
So we would get 32 parties (cake and sweets but say only go to half son16) plus sweets on the birthday so another 30ish. ( So 46 times a year).
They also go to cubs, football and rugby. That's another 20ish birthday sweets and parties. (So 50 a year). Then these also had Xmas parties, end of year parties, school discos, Nanna's house treats, granny house treats, Easter eggs from school and childminder and neighbours, Christmas stockings, Christmas fayre, summer fayre, (say another 20 bits of sweets and cake so up to 70), family and friends kids birthdays, BBQs, adult parties where the kids run around eating every thing (another 10 so 80)

Then if you add the times that we add to this: 3 weeks of holiday treats (say an ice-cream or can of pop every day)
advent calender (24 days another 145).
And then they want pocket money and spend "their pennies" on sweets (52 times) you got it up to 197, then if you go trick or treating it is arghhhhhhhhhhh

No biscuits, puddings, treats on pack lunches included.

I was mean and chucked out loads of their sweets. So many of their friends are just now huge and it all starts with a little cake.

My friends school sings a song and then the kids bring in their favourite book to school and they read It to class while they sit on a special chair.

Mine didn’t ever allow it nor does school. To be honest, they’ll be going to so many parties soon where they will be getting a ton of cake and treats it’s not a biggie if they miss out. I’m also surprised though there are lots of kids in on their birthdays. It’s the one day I’d have definitely taken as annual leave when mine were small.

I had a parent complain to me the kids eat "too much jam" because one of their snacks in the afternoons was rivita with jam 🙄

My DDs elementary school had a long-running tradition of making gingerbread houses in December. Families would attend, hilarious frosting and decorating of mishmashed houses with gumdrop decorations and candy cane trees/fences, etc. Photos taken, houses displayed until the holiday break and no one felt any religion was left out as a gingerbread house with marshmallows to resemble snow fit our very cold region where we live. Inclusive! Fun! Tradition!

Then some joyless, minority parents went on a sugar-free campaign and managed to not only ruin birthdays and ban sending treats in baggies as gifts but banned the annual gingerbread house family event. When people complained, the alternative was cardboard houses with stickers. So lame. A 50 plus year tradition down the drain.

Can't stand those parents. Sanctimonious pricks.

🤣🤣🤣

I'd be pretty miffed if my children were having cake every single week.

Problem is in the UK its normal to have crisps every day either lunch, biscuits cereal bars and cheerios for breakfast.

Anyone that thinks that beige sugary food shouldn't be eaten regularly is an uptight fun sponge.

Where I work parents aren't allowed to bring cake in so the chef makes one, which doesn't have sugar in but is nice.
Bit rubbish that your nursery have brought this rule in but sounds like parents being miserable not the actual nursery.

I was waiting for someone to say 'what about the candles'.....please tell me you're joking?

YANBU. Another absolute moaner spoiling it for everyone else.

@Delphinium20 I didn't think anyone ever actually ate a gingerbread house. I always thought they were just for decoration and would get thrown away after Christmas 😂
Also that is sad a nice tradition was lost 🙁

My DC is on a very strict low sugar diet (for medical reasons)

We have alternatives that I supply to the teacher and on a birthday or treat occasion (the school sometimes do ice poles on veye hot days) my DC is given their alternative.

My child has a very valid reason for not being able to have sugar but there is no way I'd ever expect the school to enforce this on the other children.

How about the one person who's parent complained doesn't get cake and everyone else gets to enjoy it? Why spoil it for everyone?

The problem is, it's everywhere. It may just be once a week at nursery, but then there's the hairdressers, neighbours, friend's parents, other family members, shop assistants, charity stalls....etc etc. Everywhere you go people try and give your kids junk food. And you can't be a miser and say no, so it adds up. And what about if I actually want to treat my kids here and there and be the good guy?

Tooth decay is the top reason for child hospital admissions. Generally, children have far too much sugar. It’s thrust upon them everywhere they go! How young are we talking at nursery anyway? Babies and toddlers don’t need a shop bought cake at nursery once a week (or more!)

I bet that parent is a MNer.

Christ. Unclench.

Moderation is absolutely fine but it sounds like the nursery have a pretty good alternative. Wish my setting did this

The worst thing about parenting is other parents.