To think this is absolutely joyless of nursery?

[Bettycrockered]

DD attends a private nursery and if you want to, on their birthdays you send them in with a shop brought cake and some candles. Everyone sings happy birthday and the cake gets shared out.

There is around 40 kids in the room, so an average of one birthday a week. By the time the cake is cut down to share, each kid gets a small cube of sponge and jam.

one of the parents via a nursery/parent forum has complained that they feel the cube of cake a few times a month is excessive sugar and so now there’s no birthday cake. On their birthday, the child sits in a chair and everyone sings happy birthday. Once a month the chef will instead bake a sugar free cake for each room and they have a little party instead.

AIBU to think this is totally joyless? DD doesn’t even like cake so I’ve seen the minuscule cubes of cake that come home with her. The meal plan at the nursery is really nutritious and varied - a little cube of sponge cake surely isn’t that big an issue? They could always alternate the children’s pudding with the cake rather than getting rid of it.

YABU - kids eat too much sugar as it is
YANBU - moderation is fine

Sorry but water melon with candles in is hilarious. Just give the kids a piece of cake ffs.

No. Birthday cake is joy.

Xylitol and other ''sugar free'' ingredients are vile.
Far better to have natural sugar -Not sure how honey works in cakes , unless Greek type.
{Went to school with a Greek friend, and her mum made absolutely delicious small pastries drenched in honey- they used to have tin drums of Greek 🍯 honey.

I can imagine that mother.

Sugar free cake? What fresh hell is this?
Is their no small pleasures left in life these days?
Shame on the parent that complained about a tiny cube of cake. What a miserable existence it must be🤨

No, an alternative to the cake. Monthly would be less to miss out on than 40 times a year, either the nursery or the parent could supply something comparable if they knew in advance.

So we are looking at a sugar free, egg free and dairy free cake……
Can you stick candles in a Massive Salad?

At both my kids settings (one nursery, one lower primary) it has to be individually wrapped sweets, usually harribo. They are then put in the bags at the end of the day, so most parents let them eat it the way home while the mad ones can wrestle sweets off their tied, cranky child, whilst trying to get them to walk home.

Pre-covid it was a cake, but it stopped as young children inevitable spit on it while blowing. One kid with aligies gets an alternative sweet, I think their mum drops a multipack off at the beginning of each term which lives in the classroom store cupboard to be substituted in as needed.

I wasn't allowed sweet things as a child, or only rarely, and am an absolute fiend for them as an adult. Everything in moderation.

Goodness me, so can I.

Probably 'older' mother and a 'PFB' {Perfect first born} who is banned sugar - In my experience children restricted sugar becomes the sugar fiend at other people's houses.

DS was allowed cake and sugar -but dislikes it as an adult.
I had sugar heavily restricted as a child, and became a sugar fiend, as sweets had such a ''Forbidden'' aspect to them.

it's okay, they'll run around from the sugar high and get another set of teeth in a few years anyway

My DS is 3 and we live in a country where people are generally healthier and thinner than in the UK.

We don't restrict things like chocolate or cake (although we obviously aren't offering them to him every day).

He's not all that interested and usually prefers fruit.

The world is fucked up.

I know sugar is bad for you but it’s all over the place and I think depriving a child of treats is not going to stop them from eating sugary things when they get a bit older and have independence in fact they may see it as “forbidden” and want it even more. I’m not basing this comment on scientific research to be honest it’s just my instinct. We all enjoy a sweet treat from time and time and this is in no way excessive. Joyless is right .

It's awful isn't it.
I remember kids being allowed to go to the sweet shop after school on a Friday with their mums and dads, and I was allowed an apple.

Dad if he picked me up would allow a few sweets, but was 'Don't tell Mummy'.

A Family on a camp site gave me and their child a Mars bar...I said I wasn't allowed...the family said that was bad, and to eat it and not tell.

They also bought me a badge.

I said I'd ask permission... Mum said ''Certainly NOT''...and told me to return the bar and badge.

The family said to ''eat it quickly''....I remember to this day chowing it down {Was a really skinny child}- and mars bars are not a sweet one can eat quickly!

But yes...Ban something, it can make it very alluring.

My ds nursery allow cake/ cupcakes and haribo sweets. They are given out at the door for the parent to decide. Dd school reception allow sweet cones/ haribo/ cake, some parents have done small party bags, all given out at the door by the birthday child, they also do a class card and a small gift of a book or colouring book and pencils ( I think the teacher pays for the gift herself from the works books ect)

Boring baskets!

The nursery sound as if they’re providing an alternative as they most likely also think it’s a bit ridiculous. I just quit teaching, for many reasons, but this was one of them. Parents would have been as well coming in and dictating which spot I was to stand on at the front of the class. They’d state exactly where their child was to sit and would phone in if they were moved. The children had cottoned on to this and would announce ‘just get your mum to phone in’ whenever a child was moved seat. You pour absolutely everything into it and it’s like no matter what you do, you can’t win. So I just gave up 🙃 It sounds like the same is happening here. I can’t imagine my mum taking it upon herself to phone my nursery as a child and tell them how they should do their job.

DH family heavily restricted and he now suffers binge eating.
Cake is a sometimes food for DD. She can take it or leave it! Same with chocolate.

YANBU, it's really sad how little stuff like this is left. DH and I were talking about when we used to buy a bag of sweets on holiday to bring back to school and share with the class. No way that would wash these days. But they do get a pudding every single day at lunch time, which I don't remember being the case at my school, so maybe that's where the balance is!

Sorted! 😂

I had no idea this was a thing. I’m so happy birthday cakes are allowed at DS’s nursery. How utterly joyless.

I think it is a really good idea for nurseries, schools, workplaces and everywhere that isn’t home and family to stop making such a fuss about birthdays.

YANBU. My daughters nursery do the same thing with the cake and candles and all the kids love it.

If said parent doesn’t want her kid to have cake that should be their individual choice but a blanket ban is very mean. If they introduced this in my kids nursery I would kick off.

It's the restricting that seems to make it alluring.

We have always had sugar in UK...and baked goods, but something else is making the population balloon {Not all people, obviously}

Years ago people were much more lithe - there is a theory that the rogue is Palm oil.

Who knows.