To think this is absolutely joyless of nursery?

[Bettycrockered]

DD attends a private nursery and if you want to, on their birthdays you send them in with a shop brought cake and some candles. Everyone sings happy birthday and the cake gets shared out.

There is around 40 kids in the room, so an average of one birthday a week. By the time the cake is cut down to share, each kid gets a small cube of sponge and jam.

one of the parents via a nursery/parent forum has complained that they feel the cube of cake a few times a month is excessive sugar and so now there’s no birthday cake. On their birthday, the child sits in a chair and everyone sings happy birthday. Once a month the chef will instead bake a sugar free cake for each room and they have a little party instead.

AIBU to think this is totally joyless? DD doesn’t even like cake so I’ve seen the minuscule cubes of cake that come home with her. The meal plan at the nursery is really nutritious and varied - a little cube of sponge cake surely isn’t that big an issue? They could always alternate the children’s pudding with the cake rather than getting rid of it.

YABU - kids eat too much sugar as it is
YANBU - moderation is fine

What did the parents complain about?

But they do get a pudding every single day at lunch time, which I don't remember being the case at my school, so maybe that's where the balance is!

If you knew the ingredients of some of those puddings you would surprised. Think beetroot, apple and other unexpected ingredients. It's definitely not a substitute for a packet of sweets or even a regular piece of cake.

I think a monthly school baked cake for all the (July) born is fine. All most of them care about is the candles IME. That way there’s no competition.
It took away the faff for me and DC brought in one brand of fruit jelly sweets for the class.
They were dealing with some serious food allergies.

If you want cake, host your own party.

I doubt they'd put artificial sweetener in.

It would probably be quicker and easier to list the things they don't complain about.

Cake isn't supposed to be a once a week treat (and that's assuming all the kids birthdays are spread evenly). It also puts pressure on everyone's parents to buy a cake.

Just leave the cake for home.

What on earth is in a “sugar free cake”? I’d be more concerned my child was eating that tbh!

I'm the same age and I.remember in Infants there was a pretend cake but with real candles. I think the birthday child got a lolly or something too.

I’m clearly in the minority but I wouldn’t be over the moon about my toddler/pre schooler being fed shop bought cake every week at nursery. They will always have some sugar in moderation, I’m not a no sugar parent or anything, but I would rather save those treats (which should be exactly that, treats - occasional) for our weekend activities, parties etc. And there’s a lot of artificial crap in shop bought cakes, quite different to something homemade.

So call me a killjoy but I’d be pretty irritated by this. Not sure if I would go as far as complaining but I’d certainly be happy it had stopped. It’s hard enough to manage the barrage of utter crap that’s shoved at kids at every party, activity, club that they attend as they get older so I’d rather it didn’t start with weekly shop bought cake in nursery, sorry.

Clearly in the minority but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t really understand those that say they’d be missing out etc and are being restricted - surely they can have cake/sweets/chocolate etc at home whenever you decide. For a long time now, our school has stopped children bringing in sweets for their birthday. Let’s be honest, I doubt the large majority are being deprived of sweet treats etc at home/parties/ grandparents etc so I don’t see it as a problem (and actually preferable) if nursery/school don’t allow it for birthdays. Surely singing them happy birthdays and wearing a birthday hat (I have fond memories of😆) is enough at nursery. I’m sure most get a birthday cake/party bag etc at home anyway.

Sorry, I could only tick Thanks once, should have been a thousand times! One only has to read some of the rubbish on this site to see that mouthy bullies who want to peddle their often distorted views usually win.

joyless and depressing!

My child eats organic at home, very healthy at nursery, but when it’s hot on the way home I get her an ice cream, when I fancy baking she gets cake. Otherwise it becomes forbidden food and therefore very tempting to children.

That mother sounds a right laugh.

Gosh this is so irritating. The sense of entitlement some people have is unreal.

Same.

It's sad, and such a terrible attitude towards food.

No wonder we have such an unhealthy and obesity problem in this country. A square of birthday cake a week is not doing any harm.

It's easier lazy parents, who feel guilty because they feed their kids with too much crap already

Or ridiculous ones, who will be the ones with kids who jump on sweets and cakes at the first opportunity because they never have any.

The ones with a healthy balanced diet are not making a big deal about cakes.

Me too, shops at Sweaty Betty and Me and Em, black/white/neutral colours for her and the children, Range Rover and zero sense of humour. Lots of them round where I live.

You don't know misery until you have been through this with a coeliac toddler. I'm not joking.

I think it’s more joyless that the parents decided to work and leave their little one in nursery on their own birthday to be honest. And I say that with two kids in full time!

Sugar-free cake people are the most joyless, boring and neurotic control freaks in the history of the planet. Most probably have thinly disguised eating disorders and it spills over to their kids and their social life.

About once every few months, someone will pop up in a local FB mum's group asking for recommendations for bakers who do sugar free cakes. Why even bother? Why not just give the kid a savoury snack or some fruit instead of jumping through hoops to get a tasteless cake made with date syrup or (worse) sweetener?

And do those people not know that white sugar, honey, dates or agave syrup all get turned into sugar inside the body? Metabolically, those are virtually identical. Especially on small children who presumably are healthy and do not suffer from rare chronic health or autoimmune conditions.

Editing for a disclaimer that this isn't pro sugar or obesity. It's pro taste and teaching children that treats are absolutely fine in moderation. Nothing tastes better than real ingredients, and a cake needs to be made with real sugar.

If there are food allergies that makes total sense, and no normal parent would mind them stopping the tradition for them, but this mother from what op has described had it stopped because of the sugar.

It’s rarely their actual birthday - normally the next day in for them.

Seems very joyless! Ours allow a shop-bought, nut-free cake for birthdays.

They also get small cakes/biscuits for puddings sometimes. The chef is brilliant, the kids all love him and his food.

Welcome to the world of fellow parents. Primary school it gets more ridiculously with what parents complain about