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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH caught cheating 2x and on dating site.

79 replies

QuietMama2 · 29/06/2024 15:49

I'm seeking advice and understanding from those who have been in similar situations.I've been married for 10 years, and my husband has been caught cheating three times. The latest incident has been especially hurtful. He claims he sought companionship. I discovered about the affair this month and confronted her via social media. She confirmed they dated for six months and were intimate but she ended it in December. My husband denies this, saying she wanted more but he refused, which led to the end of their relationship. The woman says she ended it when she found out he was married after he lied about having marital difficulties. I am currently attending marriage counseling.The main issue is that he refuses to take an STD test, and I have told him that, given what I know, I won't be intimate with him until he does and agrees to certain boundaries. He has refused to comply with these requests, saying we have been initimate since the relationship ended in December and I am being unfair. Pls advise, no judgement pls.

OP posts:
whyhavetheygotsomany · 29/06/2024 22:34

I can't actually believe what I've read. Is it made up. If it isn't you need to get some respect for yourself This man is treating you as a doormat. How on earth could you ever have sex with him again.

BodyKeepingScore · 30/06/2024 11:39

Kindly OP, he has shown you who he is over and over again. Protect your own peace, get an STD test for yourself to rule anything out. His own sexual health is his issue. And for the love of god leave him. Why would you stay with someone who neither loves nor respects you?

Mouswife · 30/06/2024 11:46

No one can give you advice, because what you are looking for is justification for staying with this cheating man.
many sound advice would be to see a solicitor and pack his bags. He will cheat again and again - he has showed you who he is - accept it, cry, grieve and move on .

billyt · 30/06/2024 12:22

I cannot, and never have, been able to understand the deceit some people live their lives through.

@QuietMama2 Sorry, but your husband has been caught three times, not necessarily how many times he has cheated.

He has zero respect or feeling towards you except disdain. He is making no effort to prove that he gives your feelings the slightest thought.

You have wasted the last two years thinking he had changed. Don't waste any more. He never will change, no matter how many times he may pretend he has. He's always be a cheating snake.

Look forward and don't waste the one life you have or you'll end up in years to come having real regrets about what you should have done.

Good luck.

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