To think it is insane I have no financial security?

[Mnoccju]

I earn 4,100 after tax and including child benefit.

Monthly costs:

my mortgage on a two bed is 1,100. Nursery is 1,700. Travel costs 300. utilities, 400. Food 250. Car finance 200. Tax and insurance 80.

I can’t afford new clothes or shoes, the cinema, a night out, a meal etc etc. I can just about afford to treat dd from time to time with a small toy.

what is the fucking point? My job is horrendously stressful and I have absolutely nothing to show for what I am doing. Are there other countries where life isn’t like this?

How old is your Dc? When will they start school? Do you have a partner? Or does your dc's dad pay CMS?

You earn a good salary - but you have ridiculous costs to pay.

I know OP, I've been there. I was in the minus each month and could barely put food on the table. Run ragged doing drop offs at nursery, running for the train and stressed out trying to get back by 6pm for collection.

BUT the childcare fees were not forever. Hang in there and much of that 1700 will become your disposable income.

Well it’s the childcare. Once that’s gone you’ll have an extra 1.7k a month and you’ll be laughing. Your problem is short term.

@somethingwickedlivesnextdoor no I don’t have a partner. Dd is 10 months and I’ve just gone back to work. Her dad should start paying 280 a month soon through cms but it’s barely going to scratch the surface.

@Luxell934 my baby is 10 months old. This problem isn’t going away soon even with the hours

Your nursery costs are very high, presumably this won’t be forever and you’ll have a lot more money spare each month at that point. Loads of us have to just get through the nursery years as best we can and then have more money when DCs go to school.

@Valhalla17 thanks. I’ve just sat and sobbed tonight. Been paid and already got a tiny amount left for the month and it’s day 1!! I am exhausted and it all feels so pointless

So you’ll get £280 a month CMS soon and another couple of hundred off nursery when the free hours start so you’ll have an extra £480ish a month soon. That’s not bad to be honest during the nursery years. In 4 years when you have no nursery costs anymore you’ll have loads extra on top of that.

See if your employer can do salary sacrifice for your childcare costs. Means it gets taken before tax so costs you a lot less.

And it's free for your employer to do.

Ask your bank if you can go interest only in your mortgage while your child is in nursery.

we did, lifesaver.

The funded nursery hours will kick in in september for 15hrs, so should reduce your bill a bit.

Can you compress your hours into 4 days or something so still full time salary but a day off a week which will save a day of childcare

Agree that it’s your childcare costs which are the kicker. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, there are countries where childcare costs less - but I know many people who either live in them or are from them and choose not to live in them who are very frank that they aren’t paradises and have plenty of drawbacks of their own.

Is your mortgage repayment or interest only? Can you possibly request that your lender allows you to go interest only for the next year or so to save a few hundred until you’re eligible for government childcare support?

Alot of people will identify with you OP. Working full time (and more) to meet living costs. Childcare costs are horrendous. You earn a good salary and I'm not being unkind when I say there are many people who earn significantly less. Not sure if you have a partner? I assume not but may be wrong. And childcare costs will be less after child starts school. Hang on in there. I raised my son on my own and spent most of my life living on an overdraft

It’s really hard. I earn similar but a couple of hundred less and I’m paying rent not mortgage (more than your mortgage). It’s so hard when it’s one income, as you can earn a good salary so on paper is sounds good but in reality it’s one income, if there were two of you earning the same you’d be in a much different position. There’s no easy solutions, but I try and keep to my budget, but my middle child is home from Uni soon and my food bill will go through the roof then

Sorry, just read that you don't have a partner. Stay strong

I'm superseded you get child benefit if your salary is that high? You’ll get 15hours from September on the new government scheme and do you pay through tax free childcare?

It's going to go away pretty soon to be honest isn't it. With the free hours etc and then it's only another 3yrs until the nursery bill disappears completely. (On the basis your child will be 1 before 31 Aug).

Yes it's shit at the moment. We've got twins so know all about insane nursery fees. But to look at an income of about £4k, declare nearly half of this is paying temporary nursery fees, and then announce "what's the point, I never have any money" just seems a bit daft.

I never understand these threads, where there's like £2k of childcare fees each month and the OP is baffled as to why they are skint.

@Baddaybigcloud i will have to pay back 25% of the child benefit at the end of the tax year

I can’t compress hours, I’ve already asked

It’s only for a short time. It’s hard with the nursery costs- I had them when there were no free hours.

You do have financial security in that you own your home so you are building equity instead of grappling with skyrocketing rent.

It is tough now, but it will get better.

@SpiritAdder im not building equity though as the interest is so high and the property hasn’t increased in value since I bought it two years ago

Are you doing tax-free childcare? It does suck, especially as the only adult, on Etsy looks like a good wage.

Unfortunately on some areas, high house prices/rents and high nursery fees go hand in hand.

What's the term on your mortgage? What retirement age does it go up to?

If you bought 2 years ago on a 2 year fix for example you might be able to change lender and lengthen the term for now.

Unless you have an interest only mortgage then you will be building equity. It may not seem much each linty but it adds up. You’re really not in that bad a position, you just need to get through these nursery years.

It is tough but things will improve soon. That £280 will take the edge off.

Your utility bills seem rather high to me. Can you break those down?