To think it is insane I have no financial security?

[Mnoccju]

I earn 4,100 after tax and including child benefit.

Monthly costs:

my mortgage on a two bed is 1,100. Nursery is 1,700. Travel costs 300. utilities, 400. Food 250. Car finance 200. Tax and insurance 80.

I can’t afford new clothes or shoes, the cinema, a night out, a meal etc etc. I can just about afford to treat dd from time to time with a small toy.

what is the fucking point? My job is horrendously stressful and I have absolutely nothing to show for what I am doing. Are there other countries where life isn’t like this?

Have you checked if you are entitled to uc given your childcare costs are so high?

How on earth is 250 a month on food high? What planet are people on? Milk alone is a pound every couple of days for DD. I also indulge in boiling the kettle for a tea every so often. It’s 8 pounds a day on food, it’s really really not a lot.

The uk is so stacked up against resident parents (usually mothers) isn’t it! Look at those nursery costs - how can it be fair that only one of the parents is responsible for paying them?! It will get better but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good complain about how unfair it is. Because it is very unfair.

For perspective, we live in a biggish city in France, the cost of nursery here depends on your income. We were at the highest level (which is not that high, starts at around 6000€ per month combined income of both parents) and we were paying around 50€ a day for nursery (daughter is ten now, so it will have gone up).

School starts at age 3, but they don't go on Wednesdays so you have to find a childcare solution for that.

There's no child benefit if you only have one child, but there are various (income dependent) benefits for under 3s. It was still an expensive time for us, but compared to our friends in England (especially the south East) it was manageable.

Happy to retract that.

I am fat and I live on stodge. So that will be why my bills are cheap.

When I'm wrong, I say that I'm wrong and clearly I am wrong. I apologise.

I do think it bears repeating about the utility direct debits.

Twice in the last two years, I had to claim back £300 off them - and they tried very hard to argue that my bills would go up so they could justify the direct debit.

I have been posting on the "Overheated newbuild" threads... So it was extremely obvious that their estimated bills were mad!

But I think that happens to a lot of people - so it's worth a check.

@ChirpyBee @EmeraldRoulette

It's definitely a thing.

https://childcaresalarysacrifice.com/?utmterm=childcare%20salary%20sacrifice%20uk&utmmcampaign=CSSCampaign11v1&utmsource=adwords&utmmmedium=ppc&hsaacc=8914215094&hsaacam=21409296192&hsagrp=166957622867&hsaaad=704009627753&hsasrc=g&hsaatgt=kwd-1636201002134&hsakw=childcare%20salary%20sacrifice%20uk&hsaamt=b&hsanet=adwords&hsaaver=3&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAACdXxpJe4vbwE8fHHTZsXSU3V4776&gclid=CjwKCAjw4f6zBhBVEiwATEHFVlioUcCWmg7xVOOUxzfDYstaQnzciWg8CjljBIrmeDliubThRumcMhoCquoQAvDBwE

Can posters who think £60 a week on shopping is massive, maybe post their shopping lists please?

I really need to get mine down!

As your problem is entirely childcare related and will gradually ease as the free hours kick in and eventually DC starts school I would carefully ease the gap in your finances for essentials with cheap credit card debt.

Obviously don't use it as an excuse to go on a spending spree but use 0% spending cards when you need something you can't afford.

Just keep transferring the debt to keep it at 0% and then pay it off when your childcare fees reduce and/or your income increases. That's what I would do and if your income is secure the risk of bad debt is low.

A lot of these posters concede they've been batch cooking since they were 12 so already have a freezer full of curry sauces and lasagne and are starting with a fully-stocked pantry!

Oh yes interest free credit cards.

quite a few are offering long deals at the minute- I’ve just got 27 months at 0%. That will get you nearly to the end of nursery, you’ll only need to transfer the remaining balance once before your salary increases.

It is but it requires the employer to set up a partnership with the nursery and only that nursery is used.

It’s not vouchers like before - it’s an inflexible scheme and lots of places that use it have attached nurseries for staff (universities, hospitals etc).

It’s certainly not open to all and like PP have mentioned requires agreed contractual changes and may not be suitable for all.

Sorry OP it's really hard. As others have said really it's your childcare bill. Will the 15 free hours help at all from September for you?

The things I would consider include are you really happy with the nursery or have you looked at childminders who are often about a third cheaper.

We also extended our mortgage so when rates were lower and before we had children we only had a 16 years mortgage. When our rate was renewed we changed this to 30 years so significantly reduced our bill. Obviously I hope in a few years we can afford to bring it back down again. Personally I felt this way we are still paying off some capital.

Is changing jobs/companies an option? Not necessarily for more pay although that would help but somewhere with more family/flexible working policies that allow you to maybe do compressed hours?

Finally a friend of mine managed to sell enough on vinted to make about £400 over 3 months! It's definitely something I need to get into.

Also just to check you are on the government tax free childcare scheme? (£2 is added to every £8 you put in)

Do you claim your free hours for nursery?

Sorry just read how old your baby is. We are just coming to then end of this nursery fee nightmare for 2 babies. We are going to be rich it feels like! You will be skint for a couple of years but once it's over you will be better off and happier about your situation I assume.

My grocery budget includes toilet paper, cleaning products, soap and shampoo. Some weeks I need more than others. I have no idea how people could spend less.

@Merryoldgoat agreed. But there is a benefit to employers ( they pay less. Employers NI) to set it up and this is just one scheme- there are many providers. And they can add new nurseries on too.

It definitely worth everyone in employment to at least ask as it could save them a fortune. My kids are well past nursery age but if I was at that stage I'd be pushing my employer hard to set it up - hell I'd even offer to do the admin myself to get set up !

It’s not just the admin and it’s not just calling a nursery and asking if they’re game.

The partnership is formal and the nursery has to guarantee a place and the parent has a say in how resources are spent/used

The ERNI savings are modest and whilst that may be an incentive for some employers, it’s unlikely to push it over.

I’m not saying it’s without merit but I just want to give the full picture in case anyone thinks it’s really straightforward.