vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

My vet asks after my pets when I see them out and about. They've not been looking at their notes then!

There is here. It's completely comparable.

I think some industries can offer credit agreements, whereby the credit provider run checks on the customer's credit worthiness before accepting the agreement.

This doesn't work for all small business who may offer credit at their own risk. Even Klarna prefer retail businesses.

I live in a city. Still totally normal to spread the cost.

Yes, it does, she has set up a plan to pay her vet too. Surely you grasp that?

@Riversideandrelax are you intentionally derailing OP's thread? All you seem to do is argue with every other poster. This thread is about OP, not you.

But it's not. As mentioned I took my glasses away before I'd paid for them. I took my carpet home before I paid for it.

And no one has answered this but does your vet keep your pet until you have paid for their treatment?

I believe there is a difference between formal credit agreements via a credit broker and an informal payment plan.

Excuse me? This is a discussion forum where people discuss things. The OP is discussing how she has set up a payment plan with her vet but not had the ashes. Lots of people claiming you don't get things in advance of paying them when you obviously do with a payment plan. You're derailing the thread more by deciding to be the thread police!

Someone up thread suggested it was illegal to have an informal payment plan?

Its not illegal to have an informal payment plan in this situation. Same as layaway can be done on an informal basis but you don't get the goods till you pay in full. Its not illegal for example to ask a shop to hold something for you with a deposit, this is a similar kind of thing.

So as long as it is a formal payment plan then there is nothing to stop you getting the ashes in advance as in OPs situation? Obviously, most of the time the animal is still alive so you get to take them home even if you haven't paid for their consultation/treatment.

They do the same with human ashes, at the undertakers. My exhusband and I were paying half each of the cost for our 26 year old son's funeral, I paid my half on time but he didn't, so they wouldn't let me take the ashes. It is by far the most awful thing he did, in a very long list and I will never forget it. The undertakers did in fact take pity on me and gave me the ashes a couple of weeks later, even though the selfish bastard hadn't paid.

That's awful I'm so sorry. I'm glad you were able to get the ashes, though.

I don’t think the vets are doing anything wrong- the bill hasn’t been paid yet. It’s not a lack of compassion to stipulate that bills are settled before ashes are returned, it’s a way of protecting their business and minimising financial loss. I wouldn’t view it as a personal slight. It is very sad to lose a beloved pet, so I am sorry for your loss.

So as long as it is a formal payment plan then there is nothing to stop you getting the ashes in advance as in OPs situation? Obviously, most of the time the animal is still alive so you get to take them home even if you haven't paid for their consultation/treatment

As far as I understand it, and I'm happy to be corrected by someone more knowledgable, a payment plan is an informal agreement. The carpet / spectacles examples are formal credit agreements.

And like others, I have had to pay for parents funerals in full, before they took place.

I think people go around imagining that everyone is as upright and conscientious as they are themselves. I thought the same until I started working in the industry.

The reality is that bad debts form a significant part of a veterinary practices’ costs, both the debts themselves and the (often fruitless) legal fees involved in trying to recoup them. And you can’t always tell who’s going to be ‘good for it’ in advance. I know of many relatively long-standing clients who have always paid their bills on time suddenly going rogue out of the blue.

A formal payment plan would be a credit agreement, and you need to be licensed in order to offer that.

Small businesses are unlikely to be able to do that unless via a third party. What they can do is invoice, and give people thirty days to pay, or offer an informal agreement, but that's entirely at their discretion and if someone stopped paying, they would struggle to get their money back (plus it would potentially cost a fortune).

It was literally my JOB.

A private cremation your organize separately at a specialist venue for a larger animal like larger bread dogs or say horse etc... maybe completely different but the service provide by the vets (which is what virtually everyone opted in for for ease) for domestic creature (most other than dogs being small) is NOT the same and is a mass cremation on site often along side other 'waste'.

Shocking most people (like yourself) don't seem to understand this.

Also attempting to 'keyboard warrior' correct me on the information provide by the funeral home for my own child's funeral is fucking abhorrent. Yes coffin ash makes up the majority of ash for lost babies, where do you think the ash magically comes from with MMC and premature babies?

Yep, and let's be honest, most people won't prioritise the vet bill of a deceased pet over other, more immediate things.

Please proved links to veterinary practices that are offering credit facilities (outside of third party organisations)

I am so sorry for your loss. I used to be a vet nurse and we had thousands and thousands of pounds worth of debt and a lot of that would be from animals that were put down. They are a business and they have to pay the crematorium, it does seen harsh but they have bills to pay too

Can you grasp that this so-called ‘plan’ is a purely casual arrangement that offers no security for the vet practice? The are not a licensed credit facility. They could actually get into a lot of trouble for even allowing this.

I had leaking roof above my son’s bedroom last month and needed urgent repairs. Unfortunately I don’t actually have the money to pay the builders at the moment, but I’ll get it to them in 5 months or so (maybe, fingers crossed). The builder is going to default on their mortgage because of the unpaid debt, but obviously my needs are greater than theirs. That’s ok, right?

I have been a vet for 35 years and have worked in veterinary practices for 43 years, having started when I was 16. I have never, ever worked anywhere or set foot in a practice where there was a cremation facility on site. I am not saying it never happens, but it’s very much not typical of standard pet practices. Standard cremation involves the pet being sent elsewhere for communal cremation with other animals. Individual cremation, from a reputable company, you get the ashes of your own pet back, without a doubt. I know this because I have seen animals mislabelled accidentally and cremated communally when it should have been individually and the vet has quite rightly had to tell the owner that there were no ashes returned. It’s really quite common for people to request individual cremation these days, I’d say probably a third of people where I’ve worked recently. Practices are not the same as they were in the past.