vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

I'm sorry for your loss OP, I've been there and got the proverbial t-shirt several times.

But YABU. They're not holding them 'hostage' FFS. They're, quite rightly, withholding the final instalment of their service until you have paid.

They have fulfilled 100% of the services required but have not yet received 50% of the payment and have no way to guarantee this. A promise to pay, which unfortunately a payment plan is, leaves them at high risk of non-payment.

The anger from your grief is being misdirected.

Personally I would put in writing to the Vet practice boss what you have said in your OP and ask if under the circumstances they will release the ashes. If they refuse I would not use them for other pets and take the business elsewhere. Keeping customers happy is an important aspect of running a business.
I would also gently suggest that for the future you consider PTS at an earlier stage so the animal is not stressed by vet visits and investigations that ultimately do not improve the animal's health significantly, but may cause it a lot of additional stress on top of the symptoms since animals cannot understand.

There's a difference between a "formal" payment plan and a credit agreement. Its credit agreement where you can take goods/services/ashes first, for that you need to be licensed. It would be via a 3rd company and that company would settle the vet bill. To get that you would be referenced checked and sign a credit agreement probably including high interest charges in this instance. Formal/informal doesn't mean much difference in this situation because it isn't an official credit agreement. Formal is just shorthand for saying I've agreed these specific payments, it doesn't confer a credit agreement.

Obviously living creatures are a different matter. Its still not a credit agreement though

I’m sorry OP this is horrible for you.

Of course they should give you your cat. People pay for things on credit all the time and your ‘goods’ aren’t withheld until you’ve finished paying.

I would ask to speak to the vet who owns the practice. They may give you some leeway given your long history as a client.

Hope you are doing ok x

Medivet are really poor, I moved my dogs to a family run practice when they took over our local one.

It’s incredible the amount of ignorance there is out there on this. So many on this thread thinking random small business owners should just ‘give credit’ to all and sundry without any kind of security. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Exactly this. Why do the vets have to pay their suppliers (the pet crem) and have their cash flow impacted because someone else doesn’t have the money to pay them for a service they have provided.

It’s bloody hard running a business, without giving credit with no security to someone who can’t afford to pay for their pets. Ther’s a very high likelihood of getting knocked for the remainder of the bill in these situations.

They don't cremate them, they are done elsewhere. So they obviously paid the other company and are down on their payment. It's a bit mean but they have something you want back so it's the only guarantee they have.

The vets aren't a bank, they can't just "give credit".

Yep. Most practices have a policy of payment at the time. Where a payment plan is offered they are trying to help at the risk of not getting paid. In the OP's case it was particularly generous to arrange private cremation on a payment plan as animal welfare is often the main driver for allowing clients to delay payment.

It's not "standard practice" at funeral homes. I was a funeral arranger until recently and we were not allowed to hold ashes "hostage". I can see why some do it, but find it disrespectful and distasteful.

And if it’s just a simple matter of getting credit, presumably the OP can just put the vet bill on her credit card? Job done.

You've had a lot of sympathy and support on this thread, OP, so let me do the blunt part.

Stop with all this 'hostage' crap. When you have a pet, you know it will die, and you should have money put aside to cover those costs, just as for medical expenses. Insurance is one option, but you allowed the policy to lapse. Easily done perhaps, but still, that's on you. It is not your vet's responsibility to meet the costs of caring for your pet, even temporarily.

We all understand that you are grieving your beloved furry friend, but you are misdirecting your grief and financial worry into anger at your vet, and deflecting that this is and always was your final painful responsibility as a pet owner.

I hope you can raise the money soon.

Sorry for your loss OP. I can fully understand why you are upset and if I was the Vet, I would return the ashes to you. But I'm not the Vet and I'm not in any way business minded. That said, I fully understand that business's need policies as does any service/organisation. There are reasons why there are policies.
Please try and take some comfort that your cat's ashes are in a safe place until all the monies are paid. I apologise if that sounds insensitive

From a legal and business point of view, the vet is in the right. But from a human perspective withholding your cat's ashes is coldhearted, especially when you had a payment plan in place for the remainder of the debt and have been a responsible client for a while. They certainly aren't going to inspire loyalty in their clients with this rigid approach. Sorry for your loss OP, and if you ever get another cat, find a more sympathetic vet.

I think this is brutal. Our vets specifically tell you not to worry about payment, after they've put your pet to sleep, and to just give them a ring. It's very much 'you just lost a family member, money isn't important right now'.

Sadly, if they have a spell of non-payers, they too will need to change policy. Again, the actions of some affecting what can be offered to all.

Sure love, and holding onto an animal's ashes is totally reasonable.

I don't really give a shit if this is standard practice, it's still a totally dick move on the part of any vet to do this. Plenty of businesses perform a service before it's paid for and don't feel the need to emotionally blackmail people into paying. Vets aren't special.

I hope this thread is illuminating to many about the true cost of owning a pet. It certainly is to me.

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

But it isn’t emotional blackmail at all. They need to ensure the bill is paid. That’s what they are doing. It’s hard on the OP but the reality is that paying for vet bills is the responsibility of the pet owner. It’s not the fault of the vets that the OP let their pet insurance lapse.

OP so sorry for your loss xx
Considering all you've spent at the practice I would have let you take the ashes, but I'm sorry this hasn't happened.

Kindly, what matters is all the love and care you gave before the end. Nothing takes that away. 💐

I will send them an email but am not holding much hope.

Regarding the second part, my cat didn't need to be PTS any earlier than he was, he had been to the same vet 3 days prior and had blood tests done and meds given. He never seemed stressed at any appointment he went to, he was the most chilled out cat ever, even when he was poorly. I made the decision to PTS as he had deteriorated massively overnight; I saw him struggling to jump and looking very weak so phoned the vet immediately to book the PTS appointment then drove straight there, because I knew it was time. His health had been up and down for the last few months but he had been doing better recently so it was a mostly unexpected and sudden goodbye even though we knew he was sick.

Sorry about your poor pussy cat, OP.

Like a few PP have said, vets will have already paid up for the cremation of your puss, and they are now chasing you for your contribution.
No harm is coming to your cat over this.

and to clarify, no payment plan or anything was set up on the day my cat was PTS. I left his body with the vet and got a call a few days later that his ashes were ready. I went there to collect them and pay. And was smacked in the face with a bill that was double what I thought it would be. I paid the 350 and said that I didn't have the rest of the money right then, so we agreed a payment plan and I went home catless... or ashes-less. And as per my previous post, I'd been there with him 3 days before he died and had paid hundreds out then for his treatment, along with thousands in the few months before that.

I do see it from the vet's point of view. I just wish I'd have known the cost beforehand so I could've made alternative arrangements that were within my budget

Sorry, not read full thread and am sure this has already been suggested but could you take out a new credit card that has an extended 0%’interest period and pay off the balance using that? My friend had a cat with a chronic condition and took out a new card in order to allow her to spread the payments a bit when the cat needed treatment.