vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

Of course they’re all about money! They provide a service which you pay for because they are in it to make a profit! There’s absolutely nothing wring with that.

thanks for your lovely comment, I have done this with other pets before and it was exactly how you described. The only reason that I didn't do it with my cat this time is because I didn't want to have to carry his body around after he died; with prior pets it was my husband who took them, but he wasn't available when my cat passed

I am very sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry that this is happening at your vets too. My vet wouldn’t do this, but she is a small private practice and she’s been my vet for almost 20 years. I often run a tab with them, because i have a large amount of animals and I’m usually there around twice a week. There is often a queue (the explosion of corporate vets mean that my little vet with her personal service is massively in demand) so I settle my bill when it’s quiet (always within a week or 2) and they are fine with that. But, because I know her so well now, she will often mention that she gets stiffed with people not paying, often for large amounts. It’s a massive stress for her that she just doesn’t need and it happens far, far more often than you would think. Whilst you obviously are going to pay op, other people have ruined it for you.

I know you are going through a horrible time, but it is standard to pay for anything before you are able to take it away. It sucks, but they are running a business

I find vets aren't very transparent with their fees. I have never been told what any treatment would cost until I'm back in reception, about to pay. I suppose they don't always know what they will need to do - I've brought cat in for a check and he ended up needing an injection, antibiotics and a blood test, adding up to about £250 (we couldn't get insurance due to a pre-existing condition).

I know it's too late now, but in future you could consider a mobile vet. We found a mobile vet who only does pet euthanasia and she and her team were absolutely amazing. They took our boy to the pet crematorium for us as well. I'd say it cost about £350-370? I don't remember exactly. Plus similar amount for the cremation. Everyone was very transparent with the costs and we had to pay upfront. It was a lot of money but not a stressful experience.

Sorry about your cat :'(

Sending out monthly invoices isn't the same as providing credit - they're totally different things.

Tell me you know nothing about cremation without telling me you know nothing about cremation whilst potentially upsetting the OP and others who have lost their pets recently even more 🙄.

Your comments are factually incorrect and if you actually did work at a vet you should know better about how individual vs communal cremation works.

Cremation burns as such high temperatures (around 800-900 Celsius) it leaves only bone and metal. Any organic matter including wood burns to nothing, not that animals are cremated in coffins. Any ash you get back is ground up bone of the pet.

No they aren’t. OP could stop the payment after she’s got the ashes back.

so sorry to hear this; it can feel like an extra kick in the teeth after such a traumatic time, is there anyone who can lend you the balance? failing that why not set up a go fund me

You are very naive if you really the think the bay can just ‘recover the costs via the usual legal channels’ 🙄

I think your main mistake was posting in AIBU; some really shitty comments on here. Maybe get this moved to the Litter Tray thread, some people might have some actual helpful advice.

Straight to your local newspaper and local social media sites to report this. It’s so sad. You’ve got a payment plan in place so it’s all ok. You’ve been a good customer as well. Name and shame this vet. I would boycott such a place.

I would think they could consider you a regular customer and be considerate in such a situation. If you were new I’d get it. But they could make some exceptions. The only thing I can think is they must have a lot of people not pay and maybe are struggling to recoup money. sorry for your loss. Xx

A payment plan isn't a guarantee of anything.

The op is not running away. It could be a direct debit for example.

Given youve always been good for it, i think in your shoes I'd probably want to make it as awkward as possible and insist that each payment reflects a percentage of the cat and so you want your 50% paid for share of the ashes now and will collect the remaining parts of the ashes each week/month upon payment.

Frame it as them withholding paid for goods and have a loud conversation at reception.

Are people missing the bit of the OP's post where she's already paid several thousand pounds to this vet in the last month to treat the condition that eventually killed her cat? Having had to pay similarly eye-watering sums recently to sort out my cat who couldn't pee (luckily he is insured, but if it happens again he'll easily go over the limit for that condition and I'm not sure what we'll do), I have every sympathy. Vet fees are an absolute racket.

But the vets' don't know that. There are lots of stories on this thread alone about people who get their pets euthanised and cremated and never bother to pay the bill or show up to collect the ashes.

Vets also can't accept payment plans via direct debit like that unless they're registered as a credit facility.

Whats the point of going to the papers. Even if they looked into it, the vets will be acting within the terms and conditions set out which the OP would have agreed to when using them.

Social media whilst it may cause a small stir would only lead to the vets posting a reply along the lines of we are sorry for your loss but you have not paid for the ashes and whilst it may be upsetting its all laid out in our T&C's that you agreed to by using our service.

My friend is a vet. She once commented that there is a large storage box full of the ashes of pets that have never been collected because the bill hasn’t been paid. Literally thousands of pounds of debt in a box.

Yep, it's a lot more common than people would think.

I was at the emergency vet with our cat a couple of months ago and the vet was saying that they had to take same day payment now as they've had so many people refusing to pay their bills.

Previously, if you went in for emergency care, they would send you an invoice with 30 days but they don't offer that anymore.

Even with humans, funereal directors etc are happy to either cancel funerals/hold ashes hostage.

If you want the ashes, you need to pay the bill. Vets aren’t charities.🤷‍♀️

It's really not the best way to deal with things. We were really surprised when ddog was pts. As we were leaving we told the vet we needed to pay but he told us not to do it now they would send us an invoice so we didn't need to hang around and to pay when we received it (which was sent a week later along with cremation charges with a condolence card.)

I am very sorry for your loss, i work in a vets and if yours is similar they use an independent pet crematorium ,they are expensive and the practice has to pay them directly.
With respect many clients tell us they will pay 'whatever it costs ,it doesn't matter' but then when presented with a bill it's a different story.
So usually the protocol for individual cremation is the same for all, some vets won't arrange the cremation until payment made.
It is a choice a client makes knowing it is quite an expense and there are other options that are cheaper or even no cost at all.
I'm sorry you feel that your vets are not being compassionate but if they are anything like my practice then your little cat's ashes will be being kept very safely until the time you can collect them.
We are all pet owners in our trade and we know how very precious they are even after they have passed,