vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

Being kind compassionate animal lovers will not be enough to clear their account with the crematorium unfortunately.

If a practice loses money to bad debt (I know you say you'd pay but many wouldn't) it will not be able to continue to offer veterinary care at all.

OP, I'm very sorry for your loss. The vet is simply doing the same as they would for any other customer on a payment plan, and your cat is out of pain and no longer suffering, so try not to worry. You will have the ashes back when you've completed payment, so it's not as though you'll never see them again.

Maybe use this additional time to research things that you might like to do with the ashes - have them made into jewellery or set into glass as a paperweight perhaps?

Same at our vets and we weren't very regular customers. When we took our cat in they did an investigation, which showed he couldn't be saved and he was PTS. We didn't pay anything right there and then when I contacted them to pay the next day they reduced the price because they'd only done 1 of 2 investigations as the first one was conclusive, which I thought was pretty amazing.

On the billing side I just assumed that's how vets normally worked

I’m sorry you lost your cat. But part of being a pet owner is the financial responsibility for them and sadly that includes end of life costs.

did you think the vets could pay their own increasing costs with your thank you card and chocolates?

My vet has never done this. He has always said 'we'll sort payment out later' when my cats have been PTS. I'm sorry about your cat and the distress of not getting the ashes.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I would find this incredibly hard, too.

Slightly off topic but I wanted to say that the Blue Cross has a very good pet bereavement support service, might be worth considering getting in touch with them if you are struggling. My experience was that they were very kind and reassuring.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

Thinking of you

It's really tough. I paid at weekend for PTS and basic cremation (scatter tube) so I could get a personalised urn online. Insurance covered PTS. Individual cremation about £180 I think

Can you take out a 0% credit card or even set up a Gofundme? Even people giving a few pounds can make the difference.

Maybe it is a sign that I am getting older (I hope not) but I find this whole thread baffling.

If you buy any goods on HP, you take the goods with you. That is the whole point! If someone doesn’t pay, you have recourse to law (and credit rating).

But this is a people business. I have never understood why vets don’t put long standing clients’ pets to sleep for nothing. It would be a tiny discount over the life of the animal (and the process takes minutes) and would engender a lot of good will.

Obviously the OP wants to have the ashes and, given that she has already more than covered the vet’s costs, it seems extremely mean and penny pinching to hold the cat’s ashes as security.

It is such a shame that veterinary care is being taken over by private equity. It should be a relationship business.

Sorry for your loss.

Why do you owe the vet money? I paid the crematorium directly when my cat was cremated, the only thing the vet got involved in was the actual giving of the cat and telling me the ashes were back.

My vet also didn't chase payment, I left it until the ashes came back to pay (it was a truly traumatic experience though so that might be why) and even then it was just the insurance excess.

okay so I'm less upset now and can see it from a non-emotional PoV, where I can see where the vet is coming from. I still think it's cruel of them but do understand it and suppose I can't fault them at that.

But what I can fault them at is that they didn't warn me in advance; I wasn't told the total cost was going to be so high, and wasn't told that I'd have to pay in full before getting him back. Maybe they assumed that I would just know that by default, but when I was a crying mess then I wasn't thinking much of anything so would have definitely appreciated a heads up from them or for them to talk me through the process so I wasn't as shocked the following week when I was informed about the hostage situation.

Tbh I know most vets are extremely strict about bills now, it used to be taken for granted that you could set up a payment plan for large bills, now there’s very few by me where you don’t have to pay the entire cost upfront. I think I’m pretty lucky with mine where as long as you’re paying at least something off the bill every week they they’re happy. And it’s not been my experience like pp has said where they see thousands of people so you’re basically a number to them, when I couldn’t get my dogs to their normal vets for their booster through Covid for 2 years, I used a different vet who had a vaccination clinic. I saw him again a few months ago and he recognised me and my dogs straight away, despite only meeting us twice briefly a few years ago. I do think the smaller clinics are obviously better at using their own judgement and discretion depending on the client, rather than a large practise having strict rules for everyone with no empathy or common sense

This is completely normal. And vet treatment is getting increasingly expensive (especially out of hours.) It’s part of having a pet and why all ours are insured.

OP has set up a payment plan to cover the costs, it's not like there isn't an arrangement in place as there would be for other bills. Do you think the vet would be reasonable holding onto a live animal while a payment plan is being completed?

And what does the vet think holding onto the ashes is achieving her? If OP doesn't pay up, then they can still recover the costs via the usual legal channels.

Vet is being so unreasonable here it's fucking unreal.

They should have told you in advance that this would be the situation.

However the usual practice is to not send for private cremation unless the bill has been paid so actually they have been pretty generous in allowing you to have private cremation on credit.

People often ask for private cremation and then don't pay for it (and don't collect the ashes either). The vets still have to pay the crematorium so end up out of pocket

Sorry for your loss. I do think it's understandable on the vet's part. Hopefully you'll be able to get the money together. Could you borrow from a family member and pay them back if you want the ashes back sooner?

I have always paid the vet.

But it can feel like 'sticking the boot in' if vets try to talk about costs straight after having an animal PTS. I think they tend to assume that, if you ask for cremation and return of ashes, you've already thought about the costs and can cover them. My vet doesn't mention payment at the time (IIRC they say 'we'll sort that out later' when you're pouring with tears and sobbing), but I know that I'm going to have to cough up sooner or later.

It's business. You commissioned them to carry out a service and they incurred costs. You could have buried the cat in your garden or a friend's garden but instead you asked for a bespoke service and that costs money.

Would you get someone round to mend your roof and then expect them to be happy if you only paid half the bill? Would you expect to get your car back if you couldn't pay the garage costs?

Probably not what you want to hear, OP, but vets are business people, not your friends. Do something positive to speed the thing up. Get yourself some seasonal work (there are supermarket jobs available in my area because the students have left the city) or work a couple of evenings a week to earn a bit more or get a family member to lend you the money, get the ashes back and then pay your family.

She never said she wanted to pay in chocolates she specifically said she has paid half and is paying the other half on a payment plan.

I don't have anyone I could borrow the money from, my cat did actually have insurance but it lapsed without me realising (it used to auto renew so I took for granted that it would do it again and it didn't), so it wasn't in effect when his symptoms started and so this problem wasn't covered unfortunately.

I've whacked some things on ebay to try and sell to make the money up, but I think ebay holds payments for x amount of time if you aren't a regular seller? I could be wrong as I don't use it often

We had my dog put down last week. Within 10 minutes of her being dead the receptionist was in the room with the card reader for payment.

My dog had been ill for years and we were paying upwards of £100 a month to them for meds for god knows how long but we understood why they wanted payment there and then.

Sadly there are so many people who take the piss and don't pay once they have their pet back that vets have to do this. Just look at how many people scam delivery companies and uber eats etc saying they haven't had their item when they have. I know it's not quite the same as a pet but they need to have some assurances you will pay.

I know its hard for you now as I rushed to the vets yesterday to pick my doggo up when I got the call to say she was ready to collect, but you will get your pet back once you've paid off the balance.

Out of curiosity, is your vet by any chance one that has been bought out by a private equity fund, eg Medivet? The Competition and Markets Authority is looking into the the whole vet market because of the behaviour of vet practices now owned and controlled by a small number of private equity players

That's awful. My vet has never taken payment until some time later. They always say 'we'll sort payment out later' when I've mentioned it.

Your last paragraph resounds with me. The whole process of let care is a legalised racket!

When i got my dog's ashes back i looked at the company. We paid £300 to the vet for cremation and the cremation website charged £220. Fair enough, the vets need to make some money until I the director of the cremation company is also the director of my vet practice.

Some digging was done on companies house and this director is director of 412 other vet firms/crematoriums etc so we basically pay for the service, plus the vets cut and it all went to the same parent company.

Do people's vets keep their live animal hostage if they set up a payment plan to cover costs of treatment?