vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

Compassion and empathy doesn't cover the vets outgoings unfortunately op.

Do think they should have told you about the pricing but perhaps since your cat was ill for so long they assumed you had already looked up potential costs for cremation there?

Think of this time before you get them back as time to decide what you will do with their ashes and make a well thought out plan for when you get them back.

The vet has been totally unreasonable.

Imagine even a non people business like a mobile phone salesman saying you can pay half upfront and the rest in instalments and then refusing to give you the phone until the last instalment has been paid! It works both ways. The vet has half the money and the ashes. What if he lied about the cremation and never gives the ashes back? Trust works both ways.

@Saitama , I would phone the vet and politely ask if you can have your cat’s ashes now. If they refuse, tell them you are thinking of seeking legal advice and will certainly give them the worst possible online reviews.

Professionals always used to bill in arrears (medical and vets). Yes, they have had some bad nonpayment experiences, but they need to use professional judgment.

Sorry, but tough.

Take out a loan if it bothers you so much and pay the vet.

Otherwise it seems reasonable.

So you chose the top, premium package, knowing you couldn't afford it and expect them to give you 'product' if that package whilst fully expecting them to wait four or five months for payment?

We had to go to out of hours service when our dog was PTS. We had to pay there and then as not our regular vet, and in fact I was the one who mentioned how to pay before they brought it up (can’t fault them as they did reduce fee)

They gave us details of private crematorium service and they kept our dog until the crematorium picked him up and then we collected ashes from our usual vet. Again we had to pay the crematorium up front.

Sorry for your loss.
I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a cremation. All my deceased cats are buried in our garden

@Toooldforthis36

and her £350, don't be so horrible, it's unnecessary.

@Saitama I'm so sorry about your cat, it's heartbreaking to go through so much & still lose them.

it is sad they can't be more compassionate given your a long standing customer who has always paid and you still have pets on their books.

not all veterinary practises are like this, my temptation would be to pay it, collect my cat & then register my other pets at a different practice. BUT if the actual vets are good I'd probably not do that.

Why are they charging you SO much more than the other place??

is there anyone you could borrow it from or a Credit Card you can use? (I'd rather pay the small amount of interest than wait months to go and pick her up.

xx

This is a better way to look at it. Withholding the ashes in that situation is fine and legit, but they should make it clear first.

@Newbutoldfather making empty threats wont work.

If the OP cant pay for the remainder of the ashes then they sure as hell wont be able to afford legal fees and the vets will know this. The vets have done nothing legally wrong and will be acting within their T's and C's which the OP will have agreed to by using their service.

Write a bad review and the reply will be something along the lines of: you did not pay for the ashes so we cannot release them. We understand this is a hard time for you etc. anyone who reads the reply will then discount any bad review.

It's called Layaway. The merchant keeps the item to one side whilst the customer makes payments. Once paid they get the product.
I realise that thinking of your pet's ashes like that seems cold but it is a product in that context.

I bought an electric wheelchair on layaway from a private mobility shop. Took me months to pay it all and I got it once the wheelchair was fully paid off. Now I could've stomped my feet and said "but, I'm disabled and I need it (which I desperately did) but they're a business and that's not how Layaway works.

Perhaps take this time to decide on a nice place to spread his/her ashes once you receive them?

Sorry for your loss OP this is really sad but unfortunately they're a business not a charity.

I've recently set up a small business and people really try to bend the rules around payment and cancellation, including very good customers and especially when the need for my service is coming to an end. If I just let it go and hope for the best it's going to make my business not viable because I won't be able to pay my bills.

But you haven't paid the full bill yet. If you want their ashes back they have to be cremated separate to other animals not being cremated. So costs extra I chose not to have their ashes back then. It costs twice as much to get them back.

That is harsh. OP has never said the thank you card and chocolates were for anything other than gratitude for the care provided.

It's reasonable to be upset that she can't bring her pet's ashes home. I was upset at having to leave my cat for cremation (clay soil in garden and it was wet so very difficult to dig), I'd have been even more distressed if I'd not been able to have her home as soon as possible. That it's right for the vet to do this doesn't make someone who is grieving unreasonable to be upset over it.

@fromtheshires ,

You are probably right about the legal threats, although if they didn’t clearly explain the Ts&Cs, they are in the wrong.

But, from a human perspective, what decent professional wouldn’t consider the relationship holistically?

Made (say) £5,000 from this client already, ongoing relationship, already covered my costs here, so will risk £350 of profit rather than devastating a longstanding and loyal customer.

It isn’t even good business.

Very interesting!

Doesn't surprise me.

I avoid vets like the plague, all of our family run independent practices have now been taken over by the large co-operations.

I also bury my pets in our garden.

Yes, exactly. Our vet has had lots of money from us and we have a really good relationship. I'd don't think they'd risk that for £350.

And people say about of course you have to pay before you get the ashes but vets don't hold live animals hostage before you've paid in full. You get to take your pet home after their treatment.

Ah that's very sad, I've had two dogs cremated through a third party but through the vets, if that makes sense, it's very expensive so I understand the vets point of view but considering you've paid half already & have a payment plan set up plus you have other animals on their books they should definitely give you your cat back

I had a pet put to sleep yesterday. I have had a number done before and this is the first time the vet has mentioned that I need to stop at the desk on my way out.. ie pay at once.
Previously they have always allowed later payment, the next day or whatever, presumably so as to not intrude on grief.
I do think vets are all about money now, it’s sad really.

they charged £300 just for the "out of hours" fee for the PTS since it was a weekend. Despite the vet living on site and the whole thing taking only 15 minutes. Then the PTS was about 100, and the rest on the cremation. The private crem charges £150 only, so as I said I would've gone there if I knew the prices beforehand, I had guesstimated them but the OOH fee seems extortionate vs what I was expecting (guessed around 150 from my experience with previous vets/animals!)

It seems unnecessarily cruel. You've used them for years, they know how much you've spent and that you're trying your best to pay it off. You've paid some of it. So why hold the ashes?
They will lose a client and you'll be telling everyone as well so they're doing themselves a disservice. Is it a chain, or independent?
I'm sorry for your loss of your lovely cat.

It doesn't need to be good business now sadly. All the local vets are being purchased by one big parent company.

My vets sold out to one and even if i go to any other vet in this town they are all owned by the same parent company when you really dig - IVC acquisition Midco Ltd. Their directors are directors of hundreds and hundreds of vets. They only care about money.

@Saitama just to add, the last time I had to have my dcat PTS it cost £90. But we didn't keep the ashes. This was about 6 years ago.
Honestly name and shame them!

@Saitama ,

‘they charged £300 just for the "out of hours" fee for the PTS since it was a weekend. Despite the vet living on site and the whole thing taking only 15 minutes. Then the PTS was about 100, and the rest on the cremation. The private crem charges £150 only, so as I said I would've gone there if I knew the prices beforehand, I had guesstimated them but the OOH fee seems extortionate vs what I was expecting (guessed around 150 from my experience with previous vets/animals!)’

You have been royally ripped off. Am I misreading it or did they charge you £400 for 15 minutes work (plus maybe £10 of drugs)?! Where in the country are you? Even in the relatively expensive area of SW London where I am, I think the OOH rates are double, not quadruple.

I would certainly phone and register your grievance and, assuming you are not somewhere rural without alternatives, take your other animals elsewhere.

I'd be changing vets, and making it clear to them why. I'd also write a review on their lack of transparency over fees, and how you were left with a bill considerably larger than you were expecting.

The last time I called the vet out of hours, before we even arranged a visit/appointment, the vet was very clear on how much it would all cost.

I'm really sorry about your cat but I also think the vet is right.

After my cat passed away I chose the most basic cremation service because at that point the cat did not care, and it was within my means at that moment.