vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

I think normally they try to be more flexible to maintain ongoing relationships with repeat customers, but well there's not much reason for OP to be a repeat customer in the short term anymore.

That makes sense to me as I'm more flexible with my ongoing customers (even if I have to grit my teeth to do so), but if they ever stop using my services, I would want them to pay in full before disappearing.

The ash aspect does sound a little cruel to me, but I also fully understand as a business owner who has often been gutted and helpless when my / our hard work has not been paid for.

I had to settle bill before getting kids ashes back. I wouldn't have expected my different. Cant see why it shouldn't be the same for pets. People in general much less likely to pay to settle a vets bill, out of sight and all that. It's a hassle chasing people to pay.

I have had customers pay very promptly on a regular basis (so I'm kept happy and take good care of their beloved children presumably), but the moment they quit, flaked on payment or only paid a portion. Learnt some bitter lessons there.

Yes, and another aspect is people don't really like dealing with death-related admin after the initial grieving etc. Like they may just avoid paying because they don't want to be reminded of the whole sad experience again. No incentive to pay also obviously as no upcoming trips to the vet!

I would not have liked that at all. It does seem very callous.

This is a completely different situation.
Your cat was already in a state to be PTS. There's no further decision to be made. You were not going to say 'oh no, it's too expensive, unsedate her'? What was the point?
Not only that, it's the long discussion about the bill + settling that's really crass here.

In the OP's case, the PTS and cremation are separate things. As a PP said, they could have just provided a form with the prices for the latter, or given a ballpark. 'Would you like to cremate - it'll cost around X'.

Maybe some of you are lucky enough to feel offended at the callousness of mentioning money, because you'll be able to pay. But a lot of us aren't! No matter how much I love my darlings. I still need to feed the rest of my family and other pets! If I'd been given an option with a comment regarding price running into several hundred pounds, I'd pause and ask for other options.

But as has been explained multiple times already in that situation, you have an official credit agreement in place with a finance company. OP doesn't have that.

If she wants to pay her bill in instalments and take the ashes straight away, then she can get a loan or put the money on a credit card. What she can't do is expect the vets to act as a loan company for her for months on end, with no guarantee that they'll even get what they're owed.

This sounds VERY entitled to me.

People need to pay for their business premises lease, equipment, staff, etc.

Even if they were only to charge for the expensive equipment and manpower fee, that time slot taken up by your pet can't be used on another pet, which means lost profit for the business.

Many businesses plan cash flow based on projected profit e.g. based on booked slots/appointments (this is also why no-shows are often charged).

The costs all add up if there are multiple pets being put to sleep for free or for nothing.

Don't assume your vets are billionaires. Many small business owners are struggling like everyone else.

Yes it's vv sad about your pet, but they have living family members and employees to feed and pay.

Well lots of people have more than one pet. Also I would still have an incentive to pay because it's the right thing to do. But even so I would assume most people do pay at my vets or they wouldn't as standard tell people to pay later.

I used to be really trusting in human nature, but as a business owner I've been burnt too many times, and now have a pretty inflexible policy in some aspects.

I don't think it's always people being dishonest – sometimes life or shame or emotions get in the way etc, but that still doesn't pay my bills. My customers don't and wouldn't work for free and neither should I.

…and vets are meant to be compassionate and animal lovers so it contradicts that when…

Gosh, yes, I remember when they USED TO BE compassionate.

In recent years things have been very different for us. Costs have gone through the roof and they don’t seem to see the human side of the business at all.

Huge houses attached to the business and £100k cars in the drive. Says it all really. Money, money, money…

I don't have a problem with our vet giving us a form to tick which option we would like with the price next to it. But I would find the vet callous if they asked for payment before or immediately after the procedure.

Maybe I am too trusting, tbh.

And I agree you shouldn't have to work for free.

Yes, sadly I agree with this.

Try taking home a TV without a formal credit agreement and see how you get on. I’d love to hear all about it.

Having other animals in the practice is absolutely no guarantee of someone being a good payer.

You seem to have missed the many previous posts on this?

The law disagrees.

Fair enough. But those 'goods' need to be fed and watered and looked after. Unlike a can of beans!

The thread has EVERYTHING to do with the OP's original post. And, whilst the OP's situation is sad and likely not unusual, the post intended attention be brought to the wider, but related issue. Notwithstanding the euphemistic initialism, rather than resort to foul language, it is suggested the post be read and properly understood. The text could not have been more explicit, it did not suggest the vet was rinsing the OP of money. A decade ago 90% of vets practices were owned by individuals, currently it's 40%.The concern is the aggregation not only of vets' practices, drug/medicine manufacturers /suppliers, laboratories, crematoriums and related businesses under a single entity. Many companies in these entities trade with each other, hence the lack of competition and inevitable greater cost to the consumer. A 12 month initial study clearly concerns the CMA who do not commence a formal market investigation lightly. If interested rather than resorting to offensive comments, a little research is suggested. Try the BVA website where many of the exchanges between it and the CMA is fairly detailed. Then get a list of the various companies forming those entities and check them out at Company's House. The results should be of great concern to pet owners. Incidentally, the BVA recognize there is a lack of transparency across the industry including a lack of vet practices making their charges known to clients.

I remember going to a seminar on this where we were told it was better, kinder practice to settle payment before euthanasia (assuming animal not in immediate distress) - the idea being that owners would be far too upset to deal with these things afterwards and would just want to get straight home. I’ve even encountered practices where they had a separate exit by which these owners could leave so they didn’t have to walk through a full waiting room in floods of tears etc.

The above might explain why the practice took the approach they did. Sometimes it’s impossible to get it right.

As this is pretty off-topic, I think you’d be better off starting your own separate vet-bashing thread/rant rather than hijacking this one. I’d be happy to engage with you further on that (although only if you promise to learn what a paragraph is first).

Blame the Tories. Disaster capitalism and private equity running rampant.

Bring back the old days. All Creatures Great & Small. Dr Who. David Bowie.

This. My DH died last year, and I had to pay upfront for everything before the funeral was held.

The funeral directors are a business.

As are vets - pay up, or tell them to dispose of the ashes.🙄

Yes, especially if you consider that vets have to spend 5-6 years taking a specialised (and expensive, not just bc of the length but the fees are higher) degree, and need to make up for those years of school fees and lost career earnings.

People think vets should be grateful to live an animal lovers' fantasy. But firstly, fantasies wear thin – no one wants to eat ice cream for 5 meals a day. Secondly even if vets still magically held on to that fantasy, they'd want to play with lovely beautiful cuddly animals, not handle your aggressively angry pet with a leaking gangrenous scrotum.

I'm not sure seeing lots of sick animals and having to put lots to sleep could be described as an 'animal lovers fantasy'??

Course not, that's my point. There are people upthread saying stuff like "and vets are meant to be animal lovers"