Parents applying for jobs for their children!

[newnamechangeforthisone]

I've advertised a small job for my business. It's quite a fun role, and we have had a lot of interest. However, the number of responses I have received from parents regarding their adult children has been shocking. I'm talking 22-25 year olds! Please don't get me wrong; I suspect many of them are possibly ND, which is excellent. There are no issues there, and it would probably suit us better, but even still, there were options to text, call, email, etc. I suspect my mum probably did the same when I was 16, but at 22 I was married.

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. Maybe I'm unreasonable but I don't think I am to expect the applicant to reach out not their mothers.

Thank you. That is all good advice.

He actually got his current job by writing on spec. And it is a brilliant opportunity in many ways except that the company is run by a man who expects all staff to work 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week on tiny salaries that put them way below minimum wage.

To add - there’s a total knack to job applications, cvs, covering letters, interviews, there’s a constantly changing job market out there and those kids with parents who are aware of the cultural changes and requirements and can easily advise their kids on the current way to approach the search - for the parents who don’t have a clue or don’t want to help, don’t expect that school will have taught them appropriately, if they are Uni students, encourage them to use their careers dept, they are brilliant, so helpful and enthusiastic - most students never use them, they have good contacts with industry and loads of opportunities even after you have left Uni they will help.

I think this is spot on.

So many parents do things for their dc rather than helping them learn how to do things themselves.

Besides the point but I agree - there's a real undercurrent of hostility in secondary schools especially. I was exactly like this as a teen and I remember going back to my secondary school to collect some artwork. After being at college for a few weeks I immediately noticed how aggressive the atmosphere was there - as I waited outside the art room there were two lads just banging the glass and screeching and it was just so bizarre and horrible?
Not sure what the answer is but secondary schools need a rethink and tbh our entire approach to teens as a group.

I remember applying for my first proper job post uni, it was to the same police force my dad had been in (he was an officer I was applying for a staff role). He did phone up and organise me a visit to the unit I was applying to so I could get a feel for the job, mostly I think because I was convinced doing such a thing would clearly be illegal and not fair competition! (please don’t ask where my brain invented this from!) This in my opinion is kind of ok to do, but I went to the visit alone and did the application form myself (with the obligatory parental spelling and grammar check) and did the interview solo etc. (Fluffed it up mind you but that’s life!)

I don’t think parents helping their child on the first round of job hunting is necessarily bad but I think the application is part of the process to demonstrate capability. A little help from parents is ok, but if you’re only interacting with the applicant via the medium of a parent that is a little too much.

(I will also add I had sorted my own Saturday job applications from 16.)

I don't think that's an issue as they are often groups for over 18s. It's just good networking!

But once someone says "yes I might have, here's a link to the job vacancy" then of course the teen should apply themselves.

How long ago was this and what subjects? It's much easier to find a job if you did STEM (and having an aptitude for STEM subjects is just luck - the rest of us have to do the "useless" subjects we are good at and then slog it out to find work. I had a job and house in my mid 20s but life was a bit different then.

It's funny how it's wrong for someone to apply for their child, but it's not wrong for a parent with contacts to leverage those contacts to see if someone can offer their privately educated child an internship. As ever one rule for one, another rule for the rest.

For the record, I wouldn't be impressed if someone's parent was applying for a job for them, but I think there are double standards here.

I think this is a valid point. Applying for jobs is ridiculously time consuming.

My son was recently asked to do a 3 hours long skills test to apply for a job where they wouldn't tell him how much they might pay him. A skills test is understandable but a 3 hours skills test for a job that you don't even know that you will want is stupid.

I really dislike nepotism. I watched a show on Eton and one of the staff, possible the Headmaster said that one of the things that the parents were buying was the networking opportunities for their kids who would be able to connect with well-connected parents.
Internships are very often based on who you know rather than how deserving candidates are. To some extent that is fair enough but it would be better if it were fairer.

I'd be replying to any applications that wasn't from the person themselves with an email saying something like 'its great Joe is interested but due to data protection we need to correspond directly with the person. Please ask them to contact us directly.'

They should not be sharing someone else personal information and I'm not sure you should be acting on it.

I can assure you I am not in any groups for over 18s.
these are just local groups on Facebook.

Yes, I know youngsters don't use facebook for general chat and communication with friends, but they can still make accounts for information.

I pray to God you will never have to apply on behalf of your child

We are all different to each other, that is the beauty of live!

The receptionist at my old work place was great at handling this if a parent came in asking about our apprenticeships. She would make sure she asked the parent why they wanted an apprenticeship, what their qualifications were, what their job was etc and the penny would eventually drop with the helicopter parent. If an 18 year old couldn’t ask basic questions, they can’t do the apprenticeship.

@Fab8

I pray to God you will never have to apply on behalf of your child

What jobs are there where the application process is harder than the job?
How else can you justify applying for the job for them?

I will certainly be helping DD2 when she is 16 with filling in forms and how to write applications and with simple interview questions as writing and spelling are not her forte. DD1 did it all by herself but every child is different.

I didn't come from a professional background and had no idea how to apply for a graduate level professional job towards the end of university or how to conduct myself in that level of interview. Neither school nor university prepared me for that and my parents couldn't help. It doesn't mean I was not capable of the job. I'm sure undergraduates who had parents who were already doing that kind of job were at an advantage, of course their parents helped them!

Er, most jobs I've had post university the application process was far harder than the actual job.

Quite. Most secondary schools are only preparing kids to be in the police, military or prison service - or at the wrong end of the prison service, with huge numbers, ridiculous draconian rules and uniform rules that went out with the ark in real life.

I disagree.

Oh, to have the confidence and self assuredness of a 10 year old, 12 year old, or 18 year old who thinks they know it all. They are legion.
They know it all.
We might as well close all places of education, so. All knowns and unknown are already known by these individuals. 🙄🙄🙄

My DD is nearly 14 and is looking to apply for her first summer job this year. I've helped her so much as looking to see what companies will take her at her age (it's a two week intro-to-work thing that some companies offer for 14-17 year olds) but I will make her apply herself so she learns how. I definitely don't want her to reach adulthood unable to do normal adult things.

They might think and act like they know it all - put them into an unfamiliar environment where they will be judged and rejected - even the know-it-alls crumble with fear. The confidence is skin deep.

Loads! Application processes are often a complete nightmare. The jobs are often a lot more straight-forward!

It’s the parents!

I was reading a thread the other day saying how she was a lot more street wise than her kids and kids of her friends seemed to be and wondering why that was 🙄

The difference is obviously parenting styles have changed drastically. Years ago kids were given way more freedom and independence bc parents got on with their jobs and left a key - now that’s seen as borderline child abuse, and gentle, committed (but NOT helicopter) parenting is encouraged.

Parents also possibly had more active social lives and/or didn’t prioritise their children’s to the extent they do now with so many after school and weekend clubs and hobbies they ferry them around to sometimes on a daily basis. Mental health is under a far bigger spotlight and there are forums like this to discuss family issues til the cows come home.

Ppl should stop blaming the kids and do a bit of self reflecting maybe as to why they are like this and need extra support (non ND)

"parents get jobs for their children through contacts, which is true, and that has always been the case. But that is not an option for many people"

It's always been an option for a wide variety of people. Youngsters joined their fathers down the pit or their mothers at the factory. Teenage jobs were found by parents asking around. It's always been like that and it's true that in the past a lot of practical jobs didn't require a CV or a complicated application form.