Parents applying for jobs for their children!

[newnamechangeforthisone]

I've advertised a small job for my business. It's quite a fun role, and we have had a lot of interest. However, the number of responses I have received from parents regarding their adult children has been shocking. I'm talking 22-25 year olds! Please don't get me wrong; I suspect many of them are possibly ND, which is excellent. There are no issues there, and it would probably suit us better, but even still, there were options to text, call, email, etc. I suspect my mum probably did the same when I was 16, but at 22 I was married.

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. Maybe I'm unreasonable but I don't think I am to expect the applicant to reach out not their mothers.

Yeah I had that a couple of times and then the child/adult followed up which I think its perfectly normal and fair. I'm a little intrigued by the one whose coming with her daughter. So that will be interesting.

So many people seem to have forgotten the awful impact that Covid had on today’s 20 and 21 year olds. It’s still affecting them. They’re not as emotionally and socially developed as they would have been without the pandemic.

I wouldn’t make a direct application on behalf of our youngest but I’d certainly sit next to them and offer guidance with an application if they asked me.

Why would ND mean your parent should apply on your behalf?

I am ND and applied for jobs myself from 16. Had to. Parents are doing their kids no favours. Help them with the application but don't apply for them

@MrsSkylerWhite I agree that guidance is useful, especially if this is their first time applying for jobs. DH and I helped DD (19) create her CV and guided her through applying for her first p-t job. After some work experience, she knows what to do. I had very little nothing to do with applying for her current summer job, she asked me to read through her CV and that was it.

DS (15) is new to job applications this summer so he needs more guidance.

Newmumatlast

I’m ND and applied for jobs myself from 16“

Were you 16 when the pandemic struck? It’s very different for kids who were. Allowances have to be made by people with no idea what it’s like to see no-one but your late middle aged parents for over a year at that age.

Many years ago I worked in a university, often responding to queries about our course. One time I had a lovely chat on the phone with an older man about his son. He was very upfront about the fact that his son didn't know he was ringing and probably wouldn't be best pleased, but he was retired and had a bit of time on his hands so when his son mentioned that he was seriously considering applying to our MSc he thought he would just help out by finding out a bit about it. He told me quite a lot about his son, bursting with pride, and said that we would be very lucky to get him. I was amused, all the more so when the son himself rang up a week or two later, absolutely mortified. Fortunately for him, his CV spoke for itself and we were indeed lucky to have him on the course. I hope he's doing well now.

We did have some other potential students whose parents seemed to be masterminding the whole application. It didn't always work out well.

What’s that got to do with being ND?

I didn’t say it had? It’s to do with the difference between 16 years olds pre and post pandemic and their confidence.

I don’t really uunderstand your point, @HebburnPokemon ?

My friend used to be a teacher at an international school, and they'd recruit teachers from the UK to go and work in Asia.
LOTS of the teachers in their late 20s and early 30s would arrive and their parents would be with them carrying their things and sleeping on the floor of their hotel for the first few nights!!!!!! TEACHERS!!!

I've taught in international schools for 26 years in 3 continents and have never seen this.

It does kind of make sense if you factor in the pandemic striking just as that age group were reaching adulthood plus possible ND. They would have been 18-21, supposed to be starting to embark on adult life and then the whole world shut down for the best part of 2 years.

They missed out on the natural transition into doing these things independently and were instead isolated. I can understand how that might translate into being 22-25 and needing more support.

Funny but true story. I was looking to recruit a new teaching assistant.

Shortlisted including a very capable young person. Word perfect, well written application.

Said young person came to the interview, her first words, arriving in the reception area being…

‘OMG, can't believe you’ve asked to see me, I can't spell at all, don't know how I'm ever going to be able to help your kids in school, bet they write better than me’.

Moral of the story, if you are going to write the application for your child, please make sure they know not to give the game away as they arrive! 😆

Most are doing ok now. Yes it was disruptive and might have stalled a natural progression, but most kids are resilient enough to have adapted.
I'm sorry for those that haven't but may be there are other issues going on there too.

You replied to a ND person talking about ND

During a hair appointment a woman came in with her daughter re a junior job that had been advertised. Only the mother spoke, daughter almost stood behind her. Salon owner said if the girl would come back in on her own they’d chat then.

I do agree with all the many reasons raised as to why it might be the case, and like I say it won't factor into my decisions but I do imagine it will factor into how well they are able to actually do a job. We shall see though. In many ways it will play well for those who are ND, and I say this as a ND family, because it's kind of a special interest kind of role.

I've heard it all now!! I wrote to all the lawyers and accountants in town when I was 15, asking about potential work, and ended up getting a job with one of them, and an offer from another one - they were impressed by my initiative. My parents had no input into this undertaking whatsoever, and I was very far from being a confident teen.

@foghead That’s also been my observation among DD’s peers. They’ve made huge strides since school got back to normal in 2022 and they’ve had a good first year in further education (university or apprenticeships). One friend who really struggled with anxiety during the pandemic (she couldn’t return to school and was homeschooled instead) is so much better that she’s able to start university this autumn.

So personally, I think this cohort is catching up now.

Yes totally ridiculous, I saw a job ad a few years back, that really made me laugh, they described the job and wrote, don’t get your mum to ring the office!

My daughter applied for her first jobs at 15. She went with a friend and handed in a. Couple of cv's.

We then went to local town together. We sat outside the shops for 20 minutes because she was too scared to go in and hand in her cv. We had tears the first outing.

Second outing I went in the shops with her but she spoke / handed in cv.

I could have gone round the town doing it for her but it wouldn't have helped her long term.

All the kids I know that suffered from anxiety - felt so much better after they left school. I don’t know what it is about school and the culture within it but I rarely hear a young adult speak positively about their school experiences. Where they feel work helped them grow in confidence- school had the opposite affect. I’m not sure it’s all about Covid - if school doesn’t suit who you are, you have little choice. Schools are often not happy pleasant places.

I've they're 22 now, they would have been 18 when COVID hit so should have already been able to fill in a form or talk to an adult.

Other children can be cruel at school, plus the odd teacher, but in general children are looked after at school in a way they never will be at work.

YANBU. I’ve seen it time and time again on fb with parents asking for jobs for their kids. No way would I hire any of these kids.

It's the direct application/contact from a parent that's odd to me. I don't understand how the parents themselves don't see that is inappropriate and gives the first impression that your kid lacks independence and initiative.

I actually believe everyone can benefit from support with job applications though - me and DH always check each others applications. I also think there's a bit of an art to it that people need to learn, we have absolutely sat with our kids and helped them put together covering letters and stuff.