To think I don’t need to buy these just in case?

[FlyingSoap]

My sister has a toddler and chose not to breastfeed, which is completely fine and she had her reasons! Individual choice. She has been asking me (loads) how I plan on feeding my baby. I intend to breastfeed, I’m researching into it as much as I can before baby’s arrival and really hope we can be successful. If it doesn’t work out for whatever reason I’ll move to formula. I have looked at this too and know the brand we’d go for, and how to safely prepare a bottle and sterilise the equipment.

My sister is repeatedly saying that I must buy 8 bottles, steriliser and tubs of formula just in case. She won’t let it go. I try and change the subject but she finds a way to bring it back onto that whenever we talk about baby prep. She keeps repeating, ‘trust me, breastfeeding is not the easy option from watching my friends, it’s so limiting’. It’s making me feel a bit awkward actually. We live very close by to a 24 hour ASDA so it’s not as though we couldn’t nip out and buy everything we need if we had to. I feel like if I have formula available it will be easier to give up when it is inevitably a bit tricky in the early days.

When it’s not that, it’s how all of her friends had a really traumatic birth, she was never expecting parenthood to be so hard, they nearly got a divorce…

Observationally her DH doesn’t seem to help very much and never has done. My DN is a very easy going toddler with a placid temperament and has slept through for 11 hour nights since about 4/5 months.

I’m not naive enough to think it won’t be really difficult at times (beyond my current comprehension, even) but I never understand why people have to tell you this when you are pregnant almost like they are basking in the experience of having done it already.

Anyway, AIBU to not buy bottles ahead of time? I would worry it would be money wasted. I do have a couple of small ‘Mam’ bottles gifted from the Boots parenting club so not entirely without.

I don't think it hurts though to have a bottle or two. I did end up using them - even if it was just for water later on when they were ill etc (it's a good way to get an ill toddler to drink water).

But I also think you can use the basic Tesco/Boots/etc own brand bottles - all the branded bottles are so expensive and they are no better. We ended up with a couple of bottles as well from various freebies/sample sets.

Dd's baby is imminent. She has a few bottles just in case.

If you have Amazon delivery all of that can be delivered next day on Prime. Ready made starter Aptamil bottles are available at supermarkets so can be delivered through Deliveroo.
so no, no need to buy it all in advance.
I bought some both times, have not used them at all 🤦‍♀️

I breastfed but struggled at first. It might be an idea to buy a carton or two of ready made formula (to save you buying a whole tin of formula), a couple of bottles and a cold water steriliser just in case? The steriliser will be useful for all sorts of things. It just saves the stress and hassle of having to rush out and buy stuff when you’ve got a brand new baby.

Agree with you. I tried breastfeeding both of my daughters but didn't manage to. Husband just popped to Asda and bought bottle and formula. Would be a waste to buy it and not use it.

With all the best will in the world some folk cannot breastfeed, despite planning to, or end up having to (partly) express and use bottles.
I'd suggest purchasing a few bottles/teats and some formula (ready made up perhaps) as it would save a mad dash to get some. You can always donate to baby bank or even sell unopened bottles.
I'm slightly confused by the 'setting yourself up to fail' comments tbh.

We did but not necessary no! In the end when it came down to mine needing to be mix fed the formula bottles were MIA but we got everything we needed from a 24 hour Asda! Bottles, formula (readymade or powder) sterilising tablets as well. Basically if you don't care about potentially wasting the money and not needing it (which is good because it means BF is going well!) then go ahead. If you'll be annoyed at yourself for wasting it then don't worry and if you need it you'll get it from the supermarket.
I even got a breast pump off Amazon in less than 24 hours.
So no you don't need it right away
but BUT 100% appreciate what she is saying about breast feeding not being easy especially in the beginning. She's got your back in that sense!

Tell her firmly to stop going on about it.

I breastfed but my milk didn’t come in until around 3 days after the birth. My parents thought he’d starve so did the 24 hour Asda thing. I just went along with it in a haze of exhausted bewilderment. He was fine. Had a couple of ounces of formula every now and then but as soon as my breast milk came in, I switched to breastfeeding. All fine.

Yanbu - see how you go.

"DS, I know you're really excited about my baby's arrival and I know you're just trying to help but you're making me feel panicked by talking about all of the negative elements of birth and how difficult breastfeeding is. I feel comfortable with how I'm preparing for baby's arrival and if we do end up needing formula we can get everything within half an hour of deciding. So let's not talk about that anymore."

Alas, yet again a mother's place is in the wrong!

You feed baby how YOU want to. Everyone else can shut tfu. You will find your groove and that's no one else's groove or even their beeswax.

Ignore her and if necessary, tell her where her opinions belong.

Take good care of yourself as you deffo will of baby x

But if OP buys those in advance they may be wasted if she never needs them. Plus, as people have pointed out, it makes it too easy to give up on breastfeeding.

Likewise. So nice not having to do all that faffing around with measuring and sterilising.

YANBU. But, I'd have a few of the ready made bottles in just in case of a middle of the night crisis. I didn't touch them either time but I felt it was easier knowing they were there.

Not as easy as it is when faced with a dickhead of a then-DP informing you at 3.47am that 'It's better for the baby if you breastfeed so I am not going out to buy you formula so you can give up' because your kid has an undiagnosed tongue tie and therefore has the latching behaviour of a fucking Toucan on your ulcerated nipples.

That night was the last night the kid ever got remotely near either of my tits ever again and I never forgave him for it. Hence the ex part of his name.

What an absolute bastard.

I breastfed and didn't even consider buying bottles or formula. Nine months for DC1 and nine months DC2.

YANBU
I BF my son for a while, had a really tough week and sent my DH to the 24 hour tesco for bottles and formula one day. Combination fed after that.

I got lots of unhelpful advice, I just nodded and agreed and did what I wanted anyway.

Sounds like you have it all in hand! You will do amazing! I wish I had stuck out the BF a bit more - check out your local breast feeding network - you will get a broad range of experience from those guys!

Good luck OP :)

"it makes it too easy to give up on breastfeeding."

I don't know why but personally i find this comment pretty jarring to read 😔

Its easy to give up BF anyway by the sounds of it, with all these 24hr supermarkets?

The thought of a mum sat there really struggling, having it made deliberately difficult to do something that might take the edge off just until they might be in a better headspace (for e.g.) because they have "dont make it easy to give up" in their head so didnt get things in just incase, is pretty sad to think about.

And I say that as someone who BF for 2 years and FF (without any comical faff whatsoever)

I breastfed both of mine from birth until 6 months.
I panic-bought a tub of infant formula before they were born, and it remained unopened until I donated it away when they were about 3 months.

They both had a couple of bottles of the pre-made formula in the cartons when they were off the boob but still not really eating much. But no more than maybe 10 each.

I was lucky, and breastfeeding was a piece of piss for me.

Save the money and put it aside towards a section with an IBCLC should you need it. Mine was the best £120 I ever spent and saved my breastfeeding journey.

I was fully intending on exclusively breastfeeding my DS however unfortunately due to a traumatic birth for both me and my son it didn't end up that way. DH ended up having to run out to the nearest supermarket while we were still in hospital and pick up some formula/bottles/steriliser etc - in hindsight it would have been useful for us to have a box of the pre-made bottles ready to go just in case. If we are lucky enough to have another baby I'll buy in a box to have in the house/take to hospital for peace of mind.

I was advised to do the same and it worked out fine. I was lucky that both my kids breastfed without any issues from the get go. All it would have meant is me spending a bunch of money on stuff that then sat around and needed to be sold/passed on to someone else.

Unless you happen to live somewhere really remote with no access to even amazon prime, don't worry about it. Just smile and nod when she says this stuff and then do what suits you.

Also... always seems to be lots of posts on threads like this saying 'my milk didn't come in until day 3' etc etc. That's completely NORMAL. I'd really advise reading up on normal behaviour of breastfeeding babies/cluster feeding/colostrum so you know to trust that your milk will (almost certainly) come in.

Top breastfeeding tip I was given:

cut your little finger nails down as far as you can, if baby doesn’t latch comfortably, get your finger in their mouth pronto!

Make sure someone gives you a demo (there MUST, surely be stuff on YouTube) on how to latch and a few false starts and you’ll be great.

Breastfeeding is the lazy girl way to feed a baby

Ignore your sister, but be kind she clearly has guilt.