To think I don’t need to buy these just in case?

[FlyingSoap]

My sister has a toddler and chose not to breastfeed, which is completely fine and she had her reasons! Individual choice. She has been asking me (loads) how I plan on feeding my baby. I intend to breastfeed, I’m researching into it as much as I can before baby’s arrival and really hope we can be successful. If it doesn’t work out for whatever reason I’ll move to formula. I have looked at this too and know the brand we’d go for, and how to safely prepare a bottle and sterilise the equipment.

My sister is repeatedly saying that I must buy 8 bottles, steriliser and tubs of formula just in case. She won’t let it go. I try and change the subject but she finds a way to bring it back onto that whenever we talk about baby prep. She keeps repeating, ‘trust me, breastfeeding is not the easy option from watching my friends, it’s so limiting’. It’s making me feel a bit awkward actually. We live very close by to a 24 hour ASDA so it’s not as though we couldn’t nip out and buy everything we need if we had to. I feel like if I have formula available it will be easier to give up when it is inevitably a bit tricky in the early days.

When it’s not that, it’s how all of her friends had a really traumatic birth, she was never expecting parenthood to be so hard, they nearly got a divorce…

Observationally her DH doesn’t seem to help very much and never has done. My DN is a very easy going toddler with a placid temperament and has slept through for 11 hour nights since about 4/5 months.

I’m not naive enough to think it won’t be really difficult at times (beyond my current comprehension, even) but I never understand why people have to tell you this when you are pregnant almost like they are basking in the experience of having done it already.

Anyway, AIBU to not buy bottles ahead of time? I would worry it would be money wasted. I do have a couple of small ‘Mam’ bottles gifted from the Boots parenting club so not entirely without.

What's the point ? What a waste of time and money .

if you need them you can go and buy them then. Otherwise save your cash

I intended to breastfeed and didn’t buy any bottles. I bought some after a few months and gave some top up feeds but we have a 24h Tesco so there was no need to pre-buy them months in advance!

I’d start taking the piss a bit if she keeps going on. Ask other if she works for Tommy Tippee on commission as a side-hustle!

I bought a pack of 3 bottles which I used for expressed breast milk, and a few bottles of pre made formula with long dates just incase so that if I did need some through the night then they were there. I never needed it for my boy, and I'm 3 weeks into breastfeeding my girl and so far so good. Breastfeeding can be difficult, I am currently very sleep deprived 😂 but if you've researched and are well prepared then that's half the battle. I've loved breastfeeding, despite the challenges we've had.

Don’t bother buying all the gear if you are planning to breastfeed. You have a 24hr shop nearby. If you must, get a couple of cartons of premixed milk of your choice and you have the free bottles - can sterilise in a pot on hob if emergency. I only managed 3 weeks breastfeeding sadly. Was still worthwhile. If successful is much less hassle than faffing with bottle sterilising. Definitely helps with immunity in my opinion. Tell your sister you’ve made your plans then clamp her if she persists.

I didn't with my first and ended up in Asda at 3am buying some. With my second I did but didn't need them unless I was expressing.
I really wish I had with my first as i was exhausted and neither of us should have been driving..

I FF all of mine as DS1 wouldn't feed and ended up being tube fed in Nicu
I also had a crash CS due to cord prolapse( very rare, don't worry)
DS2 eventually put on a drip to accelerate slow labour
DS3 born within 5 hours naturally with no pain relief
Every birth is different so simply ignore her tales of traumatic births.
I think you're very se

You do you, you sound well educated and ready for this. I'm in awe tbh. I had to go back in hospital with post birth complications. My dad went and got supplies to support when I couldn't nurse the baby and I still breastfed for 2 years! She's making it out to be such an issue!! It's not you'll be fine. Like you said Asda is round the corner

If you plan to give birth in a hospital, the midwives would check that the baby is feeding ok before you go, and I would have thought that there would be formula milk available in hospital if for some reason the baby refuses to breastfeed. Your partner can then go to the shops before you leave hospital to buy formula if that is needed.

Appreciate I'm very lucky but I had absolutely no issues breastfeeding whereas getting my kids to take a bottle was impossible. I wasted a lot of time trying! Breastfeeding CAN be limiting (yeh I couldn't really go out solo for about 7-8 months for more than an hour) but that didn't really bother me and it has advantages too. Most of my friends breastfed (sometimes in combination with formula). I reckon if you want to breastfeed, just start on that basis. It's not that difficult to change course if you decide it's not the right thing to do especially given what you have described.

No as long as you have a 24 hour supermarket and know where the pre-prepared formula bottles are your good to go.

I did buy a pack of small bottles and a hand breast pump as I got them on sale in boots. But turned out I was useless at expressing milk and neither of my babies like to take a bottle so they didn't get used much.

It was hardwork establishing breastfeeding in the early weeks and my first baby didn't sleep well. But once things settled down I noticed how much harder my friends had it trying to make sure they always had enough milk and bottles with them. Breastfeeding is much more portable once you get going with it. I wasn't the shy type when it cam to feeding out and about either.

The weird thing with bf is that it's both very restricting whilst simultaneously giving you a huge amount of freedom. Even weirder is the same if true of bottle feeding but for the exact opposite reasons.

Want to go out occasionally without your baby, have the odd couples night, guarantee the ability to have a decent night sleep (regularly or occasionally). This is the restriction of boobs and the liberation of bottle feeding.

Want to go out spontaneously, stay out as long as you want, travel light and know that your baby will be fine if your car breaks down or you get lost on a hike, this is the restriction of bottles and the liberation of breastfeeding.

So wherever a woman finds or limiting or restrictive probably depends on which form of liberation she craves more.

With my ff baby I happily went away with friends at 2m overnight. With my bf baby I didn't even pop to the pub at the end of our road for 2 years. But I accepted that we were a pair everywhere and it was fine. I didn't time to go out with 2 anyway.

Breast fed my 2 and no dummies no steriliser no point - breast feeding was the best bit for me - good luck with yours

"the midwives would check that the baby is feeding ok before you go"

Hmm, for me that was a 30 second glance, a comment that we had to get used to it (agree), practice more, and look online for tips if needed.

Hopefully things have changed!

I didn’t buy anything and didn’t need it. We live in the arse end of nowhere and even we can buy things easily enough.

Unless you live out of reach of Amazon you’ll be grand.

Formula Feeders love to try and tell you the downsides to breastfeeding to make themselves feel better.

My milk never came in to speak of and I caved at 3 weeks. Nothing in the house so I popped her in the pram, walked down to the supermarket, home in 40 minutes, fed the baby. No drama at all. Of course that was nearly 40 years ago. Now you could just order on line and the uber man would bring it for you. Just nod and smile, tell her you are all prepared. Maybe buy a carton of ready made so that technically you are being truthful

I did buy a couple of bottles and it was a complete waste of money as I never used them (as were the cotton nappies which I hardly used). Especially as you live near a big supermarket it's unnecessary.

If you can get passed the first couple of weeks of latching on problems and sore nipples, it's so much easier than bottles.

Congratulations I think you're very sensible to think about FF as a plan b
Hopefully BF will go well, but you can never predict ahead of time. Every birth and every baby is different.
I FF all of mine
DS1 crash CS with cord prolapse, ended up in Nicu being tube fed
DS2 Normal birth, came out hungry!
DS3 Appeared within 5 hours without pain relief Fed straight away
Ignore your sisters tales of traumatic births. Yours will be different.
You don't need bottles an milk before hand just nappies, wipes of some kind, vests and a few babygros

I’ve never understood the ‘breastfeeding is really limiting’ argument - what seemed limiting to me was that I’d have to be home within a certain amount of time of going out depending on how many bottles you’ve got with you. Whereas I breastfed both my children, and was free to go anywhere and stay as long as I liked because I could feed them whenever. For example, I once went out for a meal with a friend, took the baby, ended up staying for hours and then stayed over at a friends house as I couldn’t be bothered to drive home again. That wouldn’t be possible with a bottle fed baby

Definitely no need for all the negativity. And my experience BF way less faff than formula. We didn't buy any formula just in case (the big tubs go off quick so pointless if you use only occasionally) but ended up having to top up due to various issues so needed steriliser etc to express and do the top off feeds (and sometimes used those ready mixed formula bottles if not expressed enough). Given you live so close to shop or could amazon next delivery not much point in buying unless you do need. Plus why doesn't your sister lend you hers - we got all our stuff including pump from a relative

You don't have to do anything OP, Tesco's / Amazon / the world will all exist once baby has arrived - just sounds like your sil projecting her experiences on to you

I found it very limiting as I had to do all night feeds, where as with formula my husband could do 50 percent and I slept through, sleep was critical. In addition I also found it limiting as if I wanted to go out and do things I had to take baby with me, I couldn’t go and spend a day or evening with my friends without baby being attached.

If you were in the US I'd understand because they always have formula shortages and people drive for hours visiting a whole bunch of places desperately trying to get some. But here, no.

Also agree that BF not limiting, formula comes with its own bits to navigate - working out how to make up a bottle, sterilising everything etc etc, BF you can just take your boobs with you wherever you go

It was suggested to me that i get formula just in case which I decided not to do. Breastfeeding was hard at the start but once we got the hang of it, very freeing. Lansinoh and a breastfeeding cushion really helped me.

I had nothing and struggled to bf due to baby's tongue tie. When the problem became apparent the hospital taught me how to express and supplied the necessary equipment (It was a long time ago but think you actually start with a cup as it's tiny amounts in first two days). By the time it was needed DH had managed to buy bottles and a steriliser.

I breast fed, I didn't know if I was able to so I bought formula, bottled and a steraliser.

Friends of mine didn't have these to hand and had to rush out and buy them as her milk didn't come in.
And another baby was I'll and needed milk.

I didn't use any of mine- if I could go back I would just buy a pack of ready made milk like cow and gate which come with sterilised teets so I had them for just in case.