Ridiculous Situation

[GoastToast]

I’ll preface this by saying yes, I’m very awkward and yes, this is all of my own making.

I’ve had a boyfriend for 2 years, I’ve never mentioned him at work to colleagues because I always thought he’ll get bored of me at some point and I don’t want to have to go through loads of questions / sympathy when it doesn’t work out (I hate any kind of attention!)

Anyway he proposed at the weekend. The ring needs to be resized so I haven’t got that yet. But… how do I mention to work colleagues that I’m now engaged to someone I’ve never mentioned without looking like a complete weirdo???

either pretened you mentioned him and carrynon as if you did. OR don't mention it, wait until someone asks about the ring. Nothing wrong with keeping your private life private.

Have you just never mentioned that you have a partner... In which case, just wait until you have the ring on, and if anyone says anything, happily announce your engagement and if they look surprised, just say you keep your work and personal life separate.

Or... Have you stated you are single?

Just play it cool and give a nonchalant “yes, Ben and I are very happy” if it’s mentioned.
Follow up with “yes, Ben, surely I’ve mentioned Ben”, if appropriate.

PS, congratulations!

“so, some news. I’ve been seeing a guy for a bit and we have got engaged!”

if someone says why didn’t you tell us you can just say “I wanted to wait until I knew if it were going anywhere”

Oh bless you, congratulations! When it comes up, you just say you're a bit of a private person and find it hard to talk about yourself. . .

It’s really not as big a deal as you’ve made it out in your head. These people can’t really be a big part of your life if they don’t know this by now. If there are any questions, which I doubt there will be, just say the same that you’ve said on here. It’s been going well but you wasn’t sure about the future until recently and didn’t want to talk about it and jinx it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Unless you have lied and said you are single then I think you are overthinking it - you’ve obviously not discussed your personal relationships at work before so it won’t be that shocking. Just wear your ring when you have it and tell people I’d they ask.

Honestly! It’s no big deal, if anyone says ‘what did you do at the weekend’? Then say ‘i got engaged’!! If they don’t, it will come out generally over the coming weeks. Really don’t worry too much, and tell who you want / like.

congratulations!!

Just say exactly what happened. There's nothing wrong with being a private person.

Congratulations!

I don't think it's that awkward of a situation. Lots of people prefer to keep their private life private, which they have a right to do.

Just tell them you're engaged. If anyone says "wait you're in a relationship??", just play it off nonchalant and say "yes we've been together a couple of years". If you're not awkward about it the situation won't be awkward.

You could do what I did when I got pregnant. Just start dropping his name into conversation very casually, like they should all know he's part of your life already. If they mention it, then feign surprise that they don't know about him.

It won't take long for them to accept it.

First of all,. congratulations. Flash the ring - he proposed. We're engaged. People will be happy for you and will ask the usual questions. How did he do it? We're you expecting it? Have you set a date? Let's see the ring etc. You can easily slip the information in then. As someone upthread said, it's not a bigger deal you are making it in your head.

Good luck

Just say that you prefer to keep your private like low profile.

I worked in the same company as my husband, in the same building, on the same floor just in different teams for about 3 years without anyone knowing, because it wasn't there business and didn't come up in conversation.

If anything I think people will blame themselves for not having shown more interest, so it's unlikely to be an issue.

Congratulations!

I remember similar happening at my work. I said to the person, oh wow congratulations! I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend! And then that was it. Not a big deal.

It’s your business and nothing to do with your work colleagues. Just wear the ring and see if anyone comments and then say yes I’m engaged and move the conversation back to work.

Just say what you told us. It’s quite sweet. Although please work on your self-confidence. Think as much of yourself as a your fiancée does.

congrats 🥳

This happened to my DH, funnily enough - a chap who worked for him said in a team meeting that he was on annial
leave the next week. “Oh, up to anything nice?”, someone asked. The reply - “I’m getting married…..”. My DH spluttered something like “gosh - you’re a dark horse - congratulations” and one of the other members of the team nipped out for a cake at lunchtime. But all was fine; people just assumed he wasn’t keen to chat about his personal life. And my DH is still in touch with him many years and other jobs later. So I wouldn’t worry too much!

I'm not aware of the relationship status of all my colleagues but would congratulate anyone on their engagement anyway

Put the ring on and wait to be congratulated. Don't overthink it.

If you don't make a big deal about it most people will assume that everyone else but them knew you were in a relationship.

Not a ridiculous situation at all. People court and get engaged and then get married. It's nobody else's business. Wear the ring once it's been resized and if/when people ask or congratulate you, just thank them and smile.

It's not a massive deal.

People will either have assumed you're in a relationship, single or not given it a second thought. Most likely the latter.

Just wear the ring and answer questions if asked. No one will think you're a weirdo and, if they do, other people's opinion of you is not your concern.

Pretty normal to not know your colleagues private lives imo. I wouldn't think twice if I found out someone had a boyfriend I didn't know about.

People don't care as much as you think they do. They'll be glad they were spared the drama-free stories about your relationship.