Ridiculous Situation

[GoastToast]

I’ll preface this by saying yes, I’m very awkward and yes, this is all of my own making.

I’ve had a boyfriend for 2 years, I’ve never mentioned him at work to colleagues because I always thought he’ll get bored of me at some point and I don’t want to have to go through loads of questions / sympathy when it doesn’t work out (I hate any kind of attention!)

Anyway he proposed at the weekend. The ring needs to be resized so I haven’t got that yet. But… how do I mention to work colleagues that I’m now engaged to someone I’ve never mentioned without looking like a complete weirdo???

Have you actively lied and said you are single, or just never mentioned him?

If it's the first one, yes, they'll think you're a bit weird. Best to just accept it.

If it's the second one, it's not weird at all, loads of people are private at work. I don't know the personal situations of all my colleagues and I wouldn't ask. If they volunteer the information I'm happy to chat.

Chill bro

You're assuming that people will actually notice the ring. They might not! I wouldn't give it another thought. Wear the ring when you get it, if anyone asks, you can share your news.
Like you, I kept my work and home life separate. It was a surprise when I booked time off to get married. Not as much of a surprise as a colleague whose name suddenly changed on email one morning! She had got married without any of us knowing she had a partner. Other than congratulating her, noone said anything.

This - nothing else needs to be said.

I mean this nicely,people will say congratulations and the Not give it a second thought. Say you’re engaged and that’s all

I really doubt they will care.
You are massively overthinking this.

I had a colleague who did this; I was rather surprised as we work quite closely but certainly wouldn’t have hinted at it and was appropriately excited, possibly more than she seemed! It turned out he lives 150miles away so is not often here.

It really doesn't matter, not everyone wants to discuss their private life. They may be surprised but happy for you. I've known some colleagues for years but not their private lives and respected they didn't want to share this, no problem at all. X

I got engaged to one of my work colleagues, and no one even knew we were a couple! Everyone was very surprised, but just congratulated us, and we all moved on. As long as you don't make a big deal out of it, generally people will just be happy for you.

Why do you care?

You didn’t have to parade the boyfriend, you don’t have to parade the engagement.

One of my colleagues went through a very messy break up with a long term partner that many of us had met, she seemed v heart broken. A couple of months later I was in a meeting with her and noticed a giant engagement ring - I asked if they had got back together and she blushed a little and confessed it was a new partner but things had moved v quickly!

I thought it was great gossip, but I was mainly just really happy for her. I’m sure your colleagues will just be happy for you, and if they’re not, screw them.

I’m happy for you - congratulations!

Aww I think you sound quite sweet and if people say anything just say ‘you never asked’

It’s none of their business to be honest. As other people have said some people are more private than others. Who cares what they think ?

This happened at our work, she went on holiday and came back married, didn’t even know she was in a relationship, she was just quite a private person

I don't think keeping your private life private at work is awkward. I think it's professional!

I would say "I know I don't usually share details of my private life at work but I got engaged at the weekend" or "You may be aware I have a serious boyfriend and I just wanted to share my exciting news that we got engaged at the weekend".

Just don’t mention it. Many congratulations! X

It won't make you look like a weirdo. You'll seem mysterious.