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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stalk a stranger in A&E

602 replies

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

OP posts:
Apolloneuro · 27/06/2024 22:54

saraclara · 27/06/2024 22:36

Over 24 hours in A&E at nearly 80, and with no family or friends to support her.

There must be so many people like her. It's just awful. Thank you for doing that you did.

It’s devastating to think of isn’t it.

Three cheers for @TheRozzers

HairyChin · 27/06/2024 22:57

Tagyoureit · 26/06/2024 22:15

I think this is something I would do because the thought of her being on her own would make me sad.

Me too.

Dutchesss · 27/06/2024 23:10

How lovely OP. I hope she's on the mend soon.

TeabySea · 27/06/2024 23:11

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 21:59

Aw thanks everyone, yes it feels like we may end up being friends.

She's an only child and never wanted a husband or kids 'not for me dear' and lost two of her closest friends recently.

I lost my mum a few years ago so I don't have the caring responsibilities that lots of women have.

She sounds lovely! Some of the voluntary work I do brings me into contact with women in their late 70s and early 80s and I can honestly say they're great fun to hang out with. I'd consider some of them friends, even though they're 20 or 30 years older than me.
She'll really appreciate your company, I'm sure.

LulubelleB · 27/06/2024 23:20

Runnerinthenight · 27/06/2024 22:45

Elderly friends are amazing!! I had three in my teens - two sisters and a brother. The eldest sister lived to just shy of 100. They lived in a house with literally a clay floor, and no modern amenities, apart from a phone! They made tea so strong you could stand in it lol. The 'girls' slept in the living room and their brother had the only bedroom. I loved all of their stories and I am only sorry that I can't remember them now.

My whole family, bar my dad, had a horrible flu when I was a young child. The younger sister was in her 70s then, and she just swooped in and took over, cooking food, washing nappies etc (she had never married or had a child). She was amazing! She rode a bike everywhere, apart from on a Sunday where she left her bike in our garage and another neighbour gave her a lift to Mass.

I also had a work friend - she was our tealady/cleaner - and she gave me such good advice after my mother died when my children were young. I must contact her!

I'm so glad you went to see her!!

You’re not from Athlone by any chance?! I’m sure you’re not and there are many stories like this but my grandparents were very friendly with a family with this exact set up and they were amazing! We loved to visit them 💖

SummerSazz · 27/06/2024 23:20

Great update @TheRozzers, you are a very kind person.

Can you let the lady know she has a whole truckload of internet strangers rooting for her ❤️

Shiveringinthecountry · 27/06/2024 23:23

Well done, OP! That's a wonderful update 😁 You'll have made such a big difference to this poor woman. Thank goodness for people who go out of their way to be kind, like you Flowers

saveforthat · 27/06/2024 23:24

FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot · 26/06/2024 22:17

Nice thought - and I'm sure you are kind, but no don't do it. It's an invasion of privacy and very intrusive.

No it's not. It's a lovely idea and if she is still there and she probably is, I bet she would really good appreciate it. I had to wait hours in A&E in covid when noone was allowed to go in with the patient. Just do it OP.

viques · 27/06/2024 23:25

@TheRozzers

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

saveforthat · 27/06/2024 23:26

saveforthat · 27/06/2024 23:24

No it's not. It's a lovely idea and if she is still there and she probably is, I bet she would really good appreciate it. I had to wait hours in A&E in covid when noone was allowed to go in with the patient. Just do it OP.

Show quote history

Should have thread the whole thread first. Well done OP.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 27/06/2024 23:28

This has to be one of the nicest things I have read in a long time.

Alifemoreordinary123 · 27/06/2024 23:29

Best thread in ages OP - the loveliest thing to do and I’m so glad you did it. Just makes the world a better place. Thank you

cafenoirbiscuit · 27/06/2024 23:33

She could look at a Bra Angel to help with getting a bra on

Original poster
TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 23:36

Thank you so much for the advice. I will bring her some underwear tomorrow along with the pillow and tell her about the bra angel (hadn't heard of that, looks like just what she needs).

Will also see if Red Cross can help.

OP posts:
taylorswift1989 · 27/06/2024 23:39

This is really lovely OP. So glad that people like you are in the world!

Surprisedbuthappy · 27/06/2024 23:41

What a lovely person you are! 🥰

Dragontale · 27/06/2024 23:43

You’re amazing

cadburyegg · 27/06/2024 23:44

What a lovely thing to do op, amazing

SloaneStreetVandal · 27/06/2024 23:53

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 21:33

Just left the hospital. So glad I went.

The poor woman is still in A&E and it's like a war zone. I didn't realise the doctors were on strike this week.

There was no difficulty finding her and she seemed very pleased to have a visitor. She's a talker! I was there almost 2 hours and got her life history Grin

She's got a brilliant sense of humour and is sharp as anything, especially as she's got some nasty injuries and is almost 80.

I've arranged to go back tomorrow and bring her a pillow (no pillows in A&E). I also said I'd help her look at options for getting care at home. She's mainly worried she won't be able to put a bra on with her injuries.

Despite the circumstances she seemed pretty cheerful and we had a good giggle.

She was very pleased with the bits and offered to pay me for the things (obviously I refused).

All in all a successful trip.

I think this is the most pleasing update I've ever read on MN. You're lovely @TheRozzers.
Thank you for sharing with us, and I'm so glad the lady is doing well 💝

Waffle78 · 27/06/2024 23:58

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 21:33

Just left the hospital. So glad I went.

The poor woman is still in A&E and it's like a war zone. I didn't realise the doctors were on strike this week.

There was no difficulty finding her and she seemed very pleased to have a visitor. She's a talker! I was there almost 2 hours and got her life history Grin

She's got a brilliant sense of humour and is sharp as anything, especially as she's got some nasty injuries and is almost 80.

I've arranged to go back tomorrow and bring her a pillow (no pillows in A&E). I also said I'd help her look at options for getting care at home. She's mainly worried she won't be able to put a bra on with her injuries.

Despite the circumstances she seemed pretty cheerful and we had a good giggle.

She was very pleased with the bits and offered to pay me for the things (obviously I refused).

All in all a successful trip.

That's terrible she's still in A&E. There's never any pillows when I've took DD up. If going up from home I always take a blanket iPad chargers and water bottles. I know we'll be in for a long night. She sounds like a lovely lady.

thisisasurvivor · 27/06/2024 23:59

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

Thank you so much op

Your post has me in tears xxxxx

sunshinestar1986 · 28/06/2024 00:01

When my mum was in hospital after a stroke, I used to go in daily, they made allowances for us as my mother had significant needs. Me and my sister would take turns to go in the morning and stay till 2pm, then come back at 4 and stay till 7/8pm.
Other patients had someone come in during visiting hours and some had no one at all.
Anyway, all patients used to talk to me, one lady wasn't that old but suffered from a stroke would ask me to go shopping for her, just bits and bobs she needed from whsmith.
They all loved company, often it was the staff who didn't like me interacting with other patients.

pippapipps · 28/06/2024 00:10

Just want to say what a wonderful kind person you are op I wish more people were like you..this is a lovely and it's warmed my heart x

Twototwo15 · 28/06/2024 00:18

Well done for going, people like you make the world a better place.

AlleycatMarie · 28/06/2024 00:21

It is so wonderful to hear there are people like you in the world @TheRozzers . You will have made all the difference to this lady. Well done you x

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