Neighbour films us from her house

[ChunkyChips76]

Will try to keep details vague on the off chance the neighbour is on here.

We live opposite this woman, and over the last few months she has sat in her front window and watched us everyday. Harmless enough, maybe she is bored.

Then she started making gestures to us as we left. Still pretty harmless, the V fingers, middle finger, sometimes the wanker sign if she got arsey about something.

But now we have noticed she is filming us. She will sit in her usual watching position with her phone out, but the angle she is sitting at means you can see she isn't scrolling on her phone (holding it one handed, other hand visible, not scrolling, it would be impossible to see etc.)

Either she isn't filming, but wants us to think she is, or she is filming.

She seems to always know when we move outside our front door - the second we open it, she's there. If someone drives up and parks outside out house, she is at her window in an instant, filming. She films the children as they arrive and leave, which is a concern in and of itself.

We've just got a video system because we're concerned about if she escalates this further and comes onto our property (you cannot see into her house with this).

AIBU to want to report her to the police?

I think there is nothing to report her for right now (that's prob what the police would say, anyway) but I would be wary and def get a camera as she sounds a bit unhinged.

How old is she? Does she have family visiting? She isn't committing an offence. I wouldn't escalate it, or engage in any way. It sounds like MH issues.

She must be anywhere between around 45 - 55

It's the fact she makes a point of filming the children coming into/out of our house which is concerning

Report her to the police for filming the children!

She's making rude gestures at you? Whatever for? I'd find that annoying and especially having to explain it to the kids. Does she do it to anyone else? I'd keep a record at least, it's very bizarre and it's already gone from staring to gesturing to possibly filming. It's just disturbing.

I have no idea why - we have never done anything to aggravate her (that we know of!) and I am convinced when I went out this evening to put the bins out, I heard someone shouting to get her as i was outside!😕

I had cause to park along my street. One neighbour hide under a table filming us. I told her to stop or would report her for being a pedophile.. She stopped then..

Is she the Baby Reindeer lady?

Phone the police OP. We have an unhinged neighbour..elderly who gestures at us , stares out the windows at us whilst making notes and filmed our dc. That was the final straw. I rang the police, they took it very seriously as Dc were under 12 and turned up later that day firstly to talk to me to collect evidence, (I had record of the times, dates and her escalating behaviour) and then interview her. She was issued with an ASBO and we were given a crime number to report any further harassment.

Speaking as someone who once lived next door to someone who went from being amusingly odd to unnervingly erratic to a complete mental breakdown with psychotic episodes, in the space of 12 months or so, I would be wary indeed.

Her behaviour is completely unreasonable and concerning and I think reporting it to the police so they have it on file is sensible.

I am curious, what are your best guesses as to why she is so angry with you and suspicious of you? When did you/they move in? Are there cultural differences? Parking issues? Garden management differences? What are the other neighbours like? How did you get the house and why did the last lot leave.

Nothing would make her behaviour OK but I just like to try and figure where unusual behaviour comes from. Helps me to decide how to tackle it.

How come they have so much time in their hands? Have you ever spoken to them?

Do you own your home? If so be careful what you put on the record as this will have to be declared if you want to sell. I had similar issues with a past neighbour, police didn’t help anyway.

Did it work? Did you ever find out what their reasons were? Not that anything would make it ok but I’m curious as to what weird ideas lead to such odd behaviour.

Oh God, I have one of these. I moved to a new flat last year after sone traumatic neighbour related behaviour (that was very bad but not aimed at us in any way, think gang activity).

Unfortunately, I would take the drug addicts and dealers 10 times over, instead of this stress. Ours has come out many times during the 20 seconds or so the kids are in the communal hallway on the way to school. So much stuff, so many incidents. She has run out to shout and swear at us just coming and going. Stood in the hallway and stared at us in my mums car when we are just popping directions in the sat nav. Nasty letters through the door. Malicious reports to social services.

We made the mistake, having never experienced this, of being extremely shaken and upset and thinking there is something genuinely wrong with us, deserving this behaviour. Its been a year and we are still working on not being bothered. It is extremely hard and exhausting.

I would report her. In my limited experience the police dont care, especially when it is older single women. They really don’t see it as a threat or priority, but keep persevering as really it is harassment and at least antisocial behaviour. You may have better luck on the ASB side but I struggle with the fact that every agency looks at mediation; as people like this can’t be reasoned with, it is a waste of time and IMO puts you at further risk of being targeted.

After a year, a nervous breakdown, self referral to SS and MH support, and many tears and awful days, I have decided the next confrontation she instigates, I will be biting back and seeing how she likes it.

We've similar with neighbour and ring doorbell in Terrace house situation...keeping quiet as want to move but hate it, honestly hate it...I get messages with a photo of some random delivery person and this person came past my door think for you... usually it for the one next to me and I don't care ..

We have a weird neighbour like that
She doesnt record us (as far as im aware)
But she uses binoculars with night vision to look in our windows
Been here for nearly 2 years and have always got the curtains closed

Why is it always older women? Is there a specific MH issue this kind if behaviour relates to?

We've been here longer than she has

Think it's either something to do with us having a lot of family to visit when she seemingly has none, or because we have a good relationship with our neighbours and she feels left out

Our best guess is she's suffered infertility, now going through the menopause and realising our life of lots of children to visit isn't attainable for her anymore

"Then she started making gestures to us as we left. Still pretty harmless, the V fingers, middle finger, sometimes the wanker sign if she got arsey about something."

hahaha 😂i wouldn't say these were harmless gestures

My concern is she must know our daily routine by now, and thus knows when people are home alone/coming and going

Agreed, I think all this, combined with loneliness often leads to an all consuming bitterness and poor mental health. If we had visitors we knew we could expect some kind of reaction/ harassment from our awful neighbour shortly after.

It's always when people approach from a certain direction (past her house) that she seems to come out. Makes me wonder if there's a sensor or something

I’d speak with police to get this logged honestly. Especially as she is filming the kids. They can make a referral to adult services as she is clearly in need of mh support

Yes I could write a book about the problems we have had with our narcissistic, menopausal, bitter, single, no friends or family ever seen around at her house neighbour. Far too much time on her hands (hasn’t worked for years due to ill health). Hates to see/hear a happy family getting on with their lives. We have had to involve the police so they have at least got things on record just incase she completely loses her mind.