Neighbour films us from her house

[ChunkyChips76]

Will try to keep details vague on the off chance the neighbour is on here.

We live opposite this woman, and over the last few months she has sat in her front window and watched us everyday. Harmless enough, maybe she is bored.

Then she started making gestures to us as we left. Still pretty harmless, the V fingers, middle finger, sometimes the wanker sign if she got arsey about something.

But now we have noticed she is filming us. She will sit in her usual watching position with her phone out, but the angle she is sitting at means you can see she isn't scrolling on her phone (holding it one handed, other hand visible, not scrolling, it would be impossible to see etc.)

Either she isn't filming, but wants us to think she is, or she is filming.

She seems to always know when we move outside our front door - the second we open it, she's there. If someone drives up and parks outside out house, she is at her window in an instant, filming. She films the children as they arrive and leave, which is a concern in and of itself.

We've just got a video system because we're concerned about if she escalates this further and comes onto our property (you cannot see into her house with this).

AIBU to want to report her to the police?

That's a pretty vile thing to say.

It's a doorbell. Only been up a day or so, she has been filming for 3+ weeks and watching us/gesturing for months now.

It's vile to intimidate and film a young mum with her children.

Our guess is based off lived experiences with women who have been through great pain, and we believe she may be trying to hurt us

It's horrible for you 😔 I think you do need to report her, at least you've then got a chance of stopping it. Surely it's got to be harassment and the police have to do something! I hope you get a good outcome 💐

I'm sorry, you lost me at 'sexually frustrated'. Nah.

She will come into the road to film every so often, but never onto our property (that we are aware of).

Lots of "motion" notifications overnight yesterday though, all of which were seemingly nothing but still very unnerving to think she might have been doing something - probably birds/bugs though and I'm overthinking it!

Considering the police - I can tell her nightly "routine" to a tee.

She will sit in her front room until our living room light goes off, and she will then wait for the upstairs light to go on. She'll have been sat with the TV on but when we go upstairs, turns her light on and holds her phone up - to make sure she is seen. She waits until the landing light is off, turns her own light off and then goes about her evening. It's terrifying

Just what has been said by our neighbour who is, admittedly, a much bigger gossip than we are - so we tend not to talk to her as much!

I really, really do not know what is going on with her and why she targets us and our children. I am literally throwing everything I could possibly know out there to see if anyone has any ideas

The reason you can’t point your doorbell at her house is for the same legal reasons she can’t film you from hers. Absolutely contact the police.

And stop trying to figure out ‘the why’. Doesn’t matter. Just has to stop.

It's hardly "pointed" at her house. It's next to our door and 95% of what it captures is our path and front garden. yes it does capture the road and her house slightly, but not in any great detail. Impossible to see into her house and due to the layout of our house/road, impossible to avoid - we researched the legalities of having one

If a middle-aged man, living alone, was filming children in the street, you’d probably report it wouldn’t you? Not sure why this is any different.

We're scared

We doubt it'll be taken as seriously, because she's a woman, and if they go round and talk to her she will know it was us, and god knows what she would do to us

OP, ask her! Speak!

If you're afraid she will get annoyed by you asking, she'll be even more annoyed after the police just show up.

If you dont do either of those things, your only other option is to live with it and try to ignore her.
If you cant do that, your only option is to move,which is extreme.

Just talk to her. If she kicks off, then you call the police.

If she’s filming your children then definitely call the police, they can certainly act on that and will

We're scared

We doubt it'll be taken as seriously, because she's a woman, and if they go round and talk to her she will know it was us, and god knows what she would do to us
OP, you cant live like this. Yes its a bit scary but you are being ridiculous, be assertive, do something other than just living in fear afraid to do anything. Do something.

Do you have curtains and close them when it is dark enough to turn the lights on? If so, how do you know her routine? If not, why not?

It sounds like your neighbour might be delusional?
Definitely needing a bit of support.
There must be someone you can contact, social services?
To trigger a check up / some intervention.

You're spending too much energy spiraling, trying to predict the worse outcome. Why would you do that???

You have a problem, do everything and anything that you know you should.

You’ve misunderstood my comment. The fact you aren’t pointing a ring camera at her was my point. SHE is doing the illegal thing - not you. You’ve sounded reluctant to contact police in your comments and I was making the point that you should because she can’t film you either.

I wasn’t suggesting your doorbell was pointed at her, I was supporting you going to the police. You were very clear the doorbell wasn’t pointing at her house.

I had an elderly female neighbour who hated us when we first moved in, after a year of killing her with kindness she is now part of the family. At first it was awful she slammed the door in our faces when we first knocked to introduce ourselves.

When you come out give her a big smile and wave. If you see her say hello. If she continues knock on her door and ask her if she's okay or write a note asking to not be abusive towards your family. I would call the police after just so it's on record.

She’s probably paranoid and will get worse if you don’t do something to stop it. We had a similar issue with a neighbour and sent 3 increasingly firm solicitor’s letters to her threatening to take legal action and it stopped. It cost £500 but it was worth it. We didn’t bother with the police. I know we will have to report it if and when we sell but it has sorted it out. It doesn’t do people any good to pander to their delusions.

I don't think you need to worry about why she is acting the way she is Op. she shouldn't be filming you or your family. The gestures are harassment. I would call the local police station and have a word. If she is vulnerable or needs other services they can arrange that. It will give you peace of mind and also hopefully get her off your back.

You can report her for stalking and harassment. I’ve known people who have gotten others interviewed and cautioned by the police for less.

Her actions appear consistent and deliberate, ie everytime you leave the house, she is there and gesturing and filming, so it’s not a random one-off incident. Clear hallmarks of harassment there. It doesn’t matter if she’s filming or not, you have clear reason to suspect she is, so let the police investigate.

Most likely she’ll be interviewed and advised what she must refrain from going forward - unless she has previous. If she needs mental health support they’ll likely refer her

It’s illegal to film someone in their private home without their permission.

This is both stalking and harassment. Contact the police.