Neighbour films us from her house

[ChunkyChips76]

Will try to keep details vague on the off chance the neighbour is on here.

We live opposite this woman, and over the last few months she has sat in her front window and watched us everyday. Harmless enough, maybe she is bored.

Then she started making gestures to us as we left. Still pretty harmless, the V fingers, middle finger, sometimes the wanker sign if she got arsey about something.

But now we have noticed she is filming us. She will sit in her usual watching position with her phone out, but the angle she is sitting at means you can see she isn't scrolling on her phone (holding it one handed, other hand visible, not scrolling, it would be impossible to see etc.)

Either she isn't filming, but wants us to think she is, or she is filming.

She seems to always know when we move outside our front door - the second we open it, she's there. If someone drives up and parks outside out house, she is at her window in an instant, filming. She films the children as they arrive and leave, which is a concern in and of itself.

We've just got a video system because we're concerned about if she escalates this further and comes onto our property (you cannot see into her house with this).

AIBU to want to report her to the police?

Apparently according to one neighbour along the road, she is lonely and also sexually frustrated 😳 not sure it makes me feel any better about her behaviour, but the craziness can be explained in some way I guess?

The rude gestures, are anti social and she is determined to cause offense, I would log these incidents as well as those where she is filming your kids entering and leaving your house.

She's completely unhinged and needs to stop causing offence or she will be threatened with court action......if you contact the council and log the incidents with this neighbour plus with video evidence they can start a process of warnings etc.

The more 'neutral' you can be towards her the better. I know this is easier said than done but it may put you and your family in a stronger position because you are innocent.

If I was you and I owned my home I would not report to the police unless in extremis, as you'd have to declare it upon sale, but would keep an eye on her for escalation. If it escalated I'd move.

Jesus, if this is the kind of neighbourhood gossip being spread, no wonder she is flipping people off. You have trotted out every misogynistic, ageist, sexist trope in your posts, and wonder why she seems not keen on you. I was sympathetic to you until this post, and now think this just sounds like nasty neighbours on a witch hunt.

Just saying what has been told to me - I have never spoken to this woman, but she sits in her house filming me and my kids everyday!

We are going through this OP. Very similar circumstances and can relate to some replies and agree. Its awful. Huge hugs.

Report to the police via online form. They won't do anything right away, but it helps build a picture.

Aren't you tempted to go over and ask her why she is making obscene gestures at you and why she is filming you and your children? I'd want to know! And I'd be telling her if it doesn't stop, I'll be reporting her to police.

Just saying what has been told to me

Yes, that is literally what gossip is. And it is often toxic.And I highly doubt that someone just walked up to you in the street, told you that and then walked off.

I have never spoken to this woman, but she sits in her house filming me and my kids everyday!

So you have not bothered to be friendly or go to meet her?

It is always possible she is unhinged. But the tone and content of your comments on her motivation and reasons is nasty and judgmental (single, older, childless, lonely = bitter, worthless and sexually frustrated). If that is how you behave or think you are probably transmitting that to her. ,

Quite why you think I would go over and meet someone who films me and makes gestures at me I do not know!

In a way yes, but I don't want to provoke her

I am sorry but no. Don’t victim blame the OP and tell her it’s her fault somebody with their own issues, behaving appallingly, is her fault.

Any normal person with healthy boundaries and perspective would not be doing these things.

Quite why you think I would go over and meet someone who films me and makes gestures at me I do not know!

It would have been neighbourly to meet her when you moved in. You dont know what she is doing, but as the PP said, why would you not go and try to find out what is going on. You may well have done something offensive which she is reacting to.

I'm quite secure in knowing I haven't done anything that justifies me being intimidated on my own property, thank you.

I said it is not clear what is going on or why and it is possible this woman is unhinged. But OP has made a string of nasty judgmental comments that imply that a single older woman must be a bitter nasty old hag who is crazy. I was sympathetic at first, but the tone of the comments makes me think there is more going on here that we are being told.

Starting to think you're my neighbour to be honest

If she's paranoid - and I'm not saying she is but it's possible - then it probably manifests more like this in women and in violence for men. Report it to the police.

Yes, I can understand that 😳 but if you report to police and they go and speak to her, she's going to know it was you anyway 😬

This is very true.

It's just a horrible situation to be in and we all feel so anxious all the time

Oh stop! People are allowed to question you especially when the reasons you have put forward for this behaviour are so misogynistic and you cannot entertain the idea you may have offended her in some way, and are unwilling to speak to her. Leaving now, not entertaining any more of your prejudiced views about women and their worth.

Blimey, I'm post menopause with no kids, living alone. I often stand looking out of my window when I'm chatting to someone on speaker on my phone.

I'm starting to get a bit paranoid about what all the neighbours might be thinking about me.

Might be a stupid question but how do you know for sure she is actually filming you?

You've left it right to the end of your post to mention you've had a video system fitted. Is it possible she might think you are filming her so is doing it back to you? How would she know if your cameras can see into her home or not?

Oh stop! People are allowed to question you especially when the reasons you have put forward for this behaviour are so misogynistic and you cannot entertain the idea you may have offended her in some way, and are unwilling to speak to her

I'm not completely sold on the infertility explanation BUT not every mention of a childless person being less than perfect requires someone to swoop into their defence, you know?

It is possible that someone who's experienced emotional pain related to infertility could develop mental health issues. That doesn't automatically apply to you or any other poster here who may not have children.

Definitely think ring doorbell or CCTV. Does she ever approach your property? What does she do if/when she leaves her own house?

Very unnerving but because it's all on her property it's almost like a grey area where it probably doesn't cross a line into stalking that can be taken further.