… to object to the funeral parlour unloading body bags at the end of my street?

[CoralQuoter]

There’s a row of shops at right angles to our street, where the back entrances face onto a small cut through road and the back alley between rows of houses. One of these shops is a funeral parlour, which has recently expanded. They now park two massive hearses in the shared alley, and frequently ask us to move our car so they can fit the hearse through the narrow road if we park there (it’s a public street and the only way we can access the back of our house) They also load and unload body bags (with bodies in!) from the back of the private ambulance in the public street, and my DD4 asks what’s in the bags, which is… not a fun chat? My DS11 hates it and won’t walk round the back as its “too creepy”. Not only this, but they leave bags of rubbish out on the street which the seagulls get into and encourage rats. I’ve tried complaining to the council, but they say the only thing they can do is “register my complaint” with the bin collection service. AIBU to think a small terrace shop isn’t the place to run a funeral parlour from, especially if there’s no room to privately unload body bags?

You are being unreasonable to park blocking the alleyway and to object to a legitimate business on the grounds that you find it unsettling (I know what you mean about it being better if the body bags were unloaded out of public gaze, and wouldn't feel it was a respectful way to treat my deceased relative, but that's more of a marketing/PR issue for the business).

OTOH, they are being unreasonable to park in the shared alleyway which is presumably an access route and not a place for parking vehicles. I would complain to the council about this as I'm surprised planning permission was granted for a business of this sort without off road parking.

They are also being unreasonable to leave bags of business waste where vermin can get at them. It's a really bad look for a funeral parlour. I would imagine they would be keen to avoid local media taking an interest - a story accompanied by photos of body bags in an alleyway and rats getting at bags of waste would be very bad for their business, and I imagine they would be keen to address any reasonable complaints so as to avoid that sort of attention!

We lost my mum last year, and I wouldn't have been happy if I knew that anyone passing could have seen her being taken into the Funeral Directors' premises.

But all anyone would have seen was a bag on a trolley? I genuinely don't see how you would find that upsetting. Or why its different to seeing a coffin being carried in. Nobody would even have known that your mother's remains were inside it.

My local funeral home not only doesn't have a back entrance, the other half of the building is a pub. Anyone having a smoke outside the pub can see anything happening at the funeral home, and nobody ever bats an eyelid. A respectful nod of the head or a religious person may bless themselves, but nobody thinks a funeral director bringing a body into a funeral home is anything other than normal.

All the funeral parlours I know have a private area. This is gated and I presume where they move the bodies.
I really don’t think what they are doing is acceptable.
Its not like living close to a Greggs where they off load cakes every day is it?

Honestly, @KrisAkabusi, I can’t explain why I’d be unhappy about it either - it is a gut, emotional reaction and I know it isn’t logical. But it is harder to be logical, and not emotional at such a time.

My friend had problems when the garage across from her front door was taken over by a funeral parlour, they added fridges to store the corpses and she was told by the council there are no rules and regulations on how corpses are to be stored or where. Hence corpses being stored in refrigerated containers during COVID. Can you some how put screening up against your fence so ur daughter can’t see what’s happening?

With funerals not taking place until people have been dead for about a month where else do you expect bodies to be kept? I’m pretty sure there are quite stringent rules and regulations, one of which being they’re refrigerated.

Nope she looked into and once ur dead ur dead body has no rights. Funeral homes are not inspected

It’s nothing to do with rights, it’s health and safety. Bodies rot unless they’re refrigerated, just like food.

HTA-licensed establishments in the PM sector are expected to ensure that bodies are stored in appropriate conditions and are fully shrouded, including the covering of heads and feet. Bodies and tissue should be stored at temperatures that will preserve their condition. It is a requirement for establishments to have sufficient freezer storage facilities for bodies, including bariatric bodies, to meet their needs. If long-term storage facilities are not available, alternative arrangements should be in place.

All the funeral parlours I know have a private area. This is gated and I presume where they move the bodies

The one in our local parade of shops doesn't; there's just a large parking area round the back where the residents of the 2nd storey flats also park

So they applied for and built a large covered "porch" which they back vehicles into before unloading the deceased - simple, discreet and very effective

All the funeral directors I know have a gated area to unload body bags discreetly.

I think it's incredibly disrespectful to peoples deceased loved ones being carried about on the street in front of people's house. They still deserve privacy and dignity.

But how do you think they move people’s bodies from their houses to the private ambulances if they’ve died at home? It’s inevitable they’re going to be on a street at sometime during the process. It’s like we can’t face the fact that people die, and their bodies have to be moved. What’s the difference between a body bag and a coffin? Essentially, there isn’t one. We expect everything to be so sanitised.

This.
Death is such a taboo thing in the UK.

If you are parked legally just refuse to move your car.

She’s not blocking access, the hearses are too long and too plentiful to turn around. That’s not an access issue that’s a suitability issue. The street which they run their business doesn’t suit their needs any longer.

This thread is mad! 'I've got overflowing bins from a neighbour that mean we have rats and seagulls pestering us, and corpses in body bags being unloaded in plain sight' and everyone's like, yeah, happy days, what's the problem. As if!! 😄

OP it is grim, you're not wrong.

How absolute DARE people have the audacity to die 😂😂

Firstly I'd take some lessons in respect and then pass those along to your child, it is not creepy to die and they are using a back lane. Also you say your issues with the parking is about the length of the vehicle but an Amb and Fire Engine are both longer and wider than a hearse. The rubbish is an issue them for the collection company and it wouldn't matter who left the bags there the birds and rats would want in. I think perhaps you are a bit of a NIMBY and need to look internally

While bodies have to be removed from homes in plain sight it's not respectful to unload body bags like that. If other funeral homes have covered areas then they should too.

Yes as a society we are rubbish with death but societies with a better grasp of the concept still have their ways of treating bodies with respect even if they're different. Death isn't creepy but the way this organisation conducts itself sounds very creepy.

Don't be ridiculous. That's not what this is about at all. And several of us who have lost spouses or parents have said that we would not be happy with our family members' bodies being treated this way.

It's one thing for the deceased to be transferred from their front door, with family present to say goodbye (though I didn't because I couldn't bear to see my DH in a body bag) and quite another for them to be removed on the street outside the funeral directors.

You can say that's illogical all you like, but it's how most bereaved loved ones would feel.

Did this business open before or after you moved in?

I should think body tissue and fluids etc

Tf you expect them to do with the bodies wave a wand so they magically disappear inside or maybe use a chute into a basement area so as not to offend your delicate sensibilities

How patronising.
It is the norm that body bags are generally not carried around in full view of the public. Yes, we all know what's in them and yes we should be teaching our children about death and what happens afterwards.
OP's "delicate sensibilities" are obviously different to yours.

Where is your own bar? Would you be happy to see dead bodies in say clear body bags, or lined up on the road waiting for the funeral? If not, why not? They're just dead people.

Maybe that would unsettle you, or maybe you would think it was not showing respect to the dead and the grieving.

OP and many others would rather not be faced with body bags while they go about their day to day life. Others are not bothered by it. Many have said they live near funeral parlours and have never seen body bags. Others have explained how the dead are managed in hospitals. If it's the case that you're not bothered by it, at least have the decency to acknowledge that others are.

If they don't have a private carpark to park and load/unload their vehicles then the premises is not suitable for this line of work. A bag of Granny is not the same as a bag of groceries. Ethics aside it's clearly not suitable if their cars are too big to pass legally-parked residents cars and then frequently block a public right of way. I'm amazed they got planning permission to expand..... they did get permission right?