… to object to the funeral parlour unloading body bags at the end of my street?

[CoralQuoter]

There’s a row of shops at right angles to our street, where the back entrances face onto a small cut through road and the back alley between rows of houses. One of these shops is a funeral parlour, which has recently expanded. They now park two massive hearses in the shared alley, and frequently ask us to move our car so they can fit the hearse through the narrow road if we park there (it’s a public street and the only way we can access the back of our house) They also load and unload body bags (with bodies in!) from the back of the private ambulance in the public street, and my DD4 asks what’s in the bags, which is… not a fun chat? My DS11 hates it and won’t walk round the back as its “too creepy”. Not only this, but they leave bags of rubbish out on the street which the seagulls get into and encourage rats. I’ve tried complaining to the council, but they say the only thing they can do is “register my complaint” with the bin collection service. AIBU to think a small terrace shop isn’t the place to run a funeral parlour from, especially if there’s no room to privately unload body bags?

Err! That can happen. They don't all have private lifts and corridors only for staff use! At our local hospital, we've seen several body bags being moved down the main corridors and in the main lifts over the years (sadly OH has cancer so we are in and out of the hospital at least monthly for one reason or another). What do you think they use - Laundry shafts??

The hospital mortuary isn't fully enclosed either. There's a public footpath that goes right past the car park/loading bay, so people walking past on the public footpath have a clear view of the undertaker vans and ambulances as they deliver/collect bodies.

Realistically, your only objection is the rubbish. It doesn't sound like they have the right kind of refuse disposal if they're using bags that are being torn open. They probably need a commercial wheelie bin. That IS something you can complaint to the council about, i.e. take photos of the bags ripped open and birds/animals picking through. It sounds as if they're just using council commercial bin bags which probably aren't adequate.

Re the parking, what do they do if you're not in the house to move the car? Perhaps you need to stop answering the door? That is, of course, if you're genuinely not causing an obstruction by parking there.

Can you go on local social media and name and shame the company, potential clients may think twice if they hear about the unloading situation. I 100% wouldn't be moving my car again for them, and as for the bins, I'd be concerned what kind of waste is in there, I don't know what waste would be generated from an undertakers, but it can't all be left over packed lunches. Maybe report to the council that you suspect it may be potentially contaminated waste.

What do you think they use - Laundry shafts??

I don't know about yours, but round my way the hospitals use covered steel mortuary trolleys, sometimes with a cloth cover over it - or even, if the deceased is in a suitable condition, just wheel them along on a trolley as they would for anyone else

After all few can differentiate the dead from the sleeping on just a quick passing glance - at least unless they try to engage them in conversation in the lift

My DH used to work as a hospital porter when he was a student and he said that when wheeling the deceased to the mortuary a double tiered trolley would be used with the deceased on the lower shelf. To other patients it would look like an empty hospital trolley being wheeled around. This was in the 80s so maybe it's changed?

That’s what was used in the hospitals I’ve worked in. It’s obvious what those trollies are.

Re the parking, what do they do if you're not in the house to move the car?

This was mentioned last night, and as said presumably they'd then have to transport the deceased even further along the public route?

Admittedly at night there'd be fewer folk around to see this, but it hardly improves matters

Nope, we've often seen body bags on normal trolleys, in fact, normal wheeled hospital beds, in the hospital corridors and lifts.

I believe you of course, but am genuinely surprised; it doesn't seem a very sensitive way of doing things when there are obvious and workable alternatives

Body bags sounds a bit weird. A relative was an undertaker and always took an empty coffin to collect a body.

Yes, everything you mentioned, like large towns & outback Australia, has loads of space. I admit I'm not informed about funeral parlour practice but I think most people from very dense cities would probably be more amenable to this than people from more suburban areas.

I don't see a problem with the body bags, it's not like they are transparent or are slung over the workers' shoulders. No different than a coffin.

But they should certainly cover their bins.

I'd be curious to find out if they are registered with the NFAD or SAIF.

If you go to the https://www.nafd.org.uk/standards/the-funeral-director-code/ there is a section on the standards that Funeral Directors should have in order to operate a Funeral Parlour. Those are the sorts of things I think you should be considering (particularly if the waste coming from the directors is attracting rats).

Could you perhaps contact one of the organisations to find out a bit more about this particular Funeral Director? Also contact the council to see if there has been a change of purpose (think that's what it's called) for the unit they've expanded into. They will need more storage facilities or sales facilities or something to explain whey they need two units on your street.

More information here -
https://www.funeraldirector.co.uk/code-of-practice/

Your post is coming after there was that awful situation in Hull where 35 bodies and ashes were removed from a funeral directors and there is a definite lack of regulation in this area.

Considering one thing we all know is going to happen, we're very lax in this area.

Stop moving your legally parked car. Just say, I can't I've been drinking. It might make them realise that it's not a great place to have the business, and consider moving elsewhere.

I wouldn’t move my car

You are parking terribly if they can't get a hearse through. What about a fire engine?

Rubbish, yes awful.

Body bags, fact of life

I think the OP has tried to explain that she is parking entirely legally.
Fire engines can't get down every small road and alley way in every town and city.

You'll be buried in a body bag then? You wouldn't be at all alarmed or upset to go to a funeral and see the deceased carried in, in a body bag?

How can you be parking legally if you're blocking access?

So you'd be alarmed or upset if you saw a Muslim or Jewish funeral where the bodies are just wrapped in a shroud?

Do you think that coffins don't contain a dead body?

Ok they've expanded but were they there before you moved in? If you moved in first I'd have sympathy, but they have to go somewhere, but the litter thing is grim. I remember someone walking out of the funeral director near here with a pressure washer and gave me a laugh, but it was for the van.

How can you be parking legally if you're blocking access?

She isn't blocking access, it's just that the new hearses are too big to swing round into the yard when cars are (legally) parked there and it sounds like the yard isn't big enough for them to park in anyway. Hence the carrying of body bags from the street into the premises.

OP, I agree with PPs, you need to just refuse to move your car.

FWIW, people are allowed to have an issue with body bags. My DDad died in his care home in the middle of the night with me and my sister with him. The care home called our chosen undertakers and they arrived within a couple of hours. Me and my sister chose to leave before the undertakers took him to the private ambulance because we knew just how traumatic it would be to see our dear old Dad as just a body in a bag being put in the back of a van. A coffin with flowers is completely different. IMVHO.

I have not been to any Muslim or Jewish funerals but have seen Hindu funeral pyre and yes I guess I was unsettled as it was a very new experience for me.

I think most people do not associate body bags with respect or end of life rituals.
It's nothing about what we know is inside the body bag or the coffin, or shroud, it's all about what we have been brought up with.

I stand by my belief that seeing a body bag is not the same as seeing a coffin/shroud.

Neither would I.
Park as usual, when they ask say it's not your fault they expanded without provision for the cars.
We do need a diagram.
Can't they park the oversized car on the road in front of the funeral home? The van used to transport should be pretty normal length for parking and unloading.

It sounds like they don't have a van and are using the hearses for all body transportation.