Declutterring tips

[funnybones23]

I wonder if anyone could offer tips. My house is full of shit. Clothes bursting out of wardrobes that haven't been worn in years, kids toys and books they've grown out of, make up bags full of old cosmetics, drawers full of manuals and letters, sheds full of god knows what. It's utterly overwhelming. Everything is just a mess and I don't know where to begin. There's so much that needs throwing out but there's also a lot that could be donated or sold. It's just draining me to even think about tackling it all.
Equally I can't carry on living like this and accumulating more stuff. We moved into a much bigger house last year and I thought it would help things but if anything we now just seem to more stuff!

My advice would be not to try and do it all in the one go. Break it down to small manageable tasks room by room.

The advice I heard on the radio was to start with the main bedroom then give yourself a set time, it can be anything from 15 mins to an hour or two, don't pull everything out but concentrate on a shelf or two or just one wardrobe depending on how long you've given to the task.

Be ruthless and decide what you're keeping then bag/box what's for charity and what's for dumping or recycling.

I love watching sort your life out, maybe that will inspire you a bit. But agree with the above, start with small areas and action stuff quickly especially with kids toys get stuff to the charity shop before they grab it back out of the bag. There are also people round me who offer decluttering as a service if you can afford it and really need the help.

I think if you could start with the sheds then you could clear a load of space there and after that if you only have a short amount of time you could always bundle up a load of stuff from the house and move it to a shed and then sort it when you have a longer block of time. And that would allow you to get organised systems going in the house so it starts looking and feeling nicer and inspires you to keep going.

My kids quite enjoy a good declutter (less of their toys but they will do it especially if I mention passing onto younger cousins or if they can have a % of anything that I sell online or if it is make space for new toys before birthday) so maybe encourage them to get involved?

Pick a room, put on some good music and just go for it, have a bag for the bin, a bag for charity and a bag to keep.

I'd suggest "little and often". Whenever you come across something to throw away of give away or sell, then move it and put it in piles - a pile to donate to the charity shop, a pile to sell, and anything to throw away, straight into the wheelie bin! You'll be amazed at how much progress you can make by just doing it as you do your normal daily routines. Far easier and less stressful than making a big deal of it and allocating a whole weekend and then having huge piles of stuff to dispose of.

I agree little and often. Day before bin day, fill up an extra bag or two with crap that can be thrown out. Utilise the bin man and have it full to the brim each time!

The most important thing is to acknowledge that it won’t be sorted immediately, due to the scale of the problem.

But you need to begin somewhere. We can only move a mountain by breaking it down. Could you take a small bag to the charity shop today?

My advice is not to worry about selling things unless they are especially valuable - this will just slow up the decluttering process. And to always have an exit plan - how will you take rubbish to the tip and donated things to a charity shop.

The reality is that, if you can find it, you need quite few things. There's a mind shift to "assume you're getting rid of everything and pick the things you want to keep" that's helpful. Remember that there's a cost to storage, so it can be worth getting rid of things you are keeping "just in case" if it's something you could buy again fairly easily and cheaply.

Also, decluttering takes time. You have to be realistic, do it a bit at a time.

Get a reasonable sized box and fill it each day, sort out each day. Once things get too out of control it becomes overwhelming, chunking it up into bite sized pieces is the key.

watch "sort your life out". Do you have anywhere you can full empty one room into, like a garden? Then you can clean and arrange the room, before only bringing back what you really want to keep. And unless things have a decent resale value, I wouldn't bother selling.

I’ve done a huge amount of decluttering in the last 3 years as I had undiagnosed ADHD for most of my adult life so struggled with impulsive spending.

Start with a really small section and just declutter that - a single cupboard or drawer. Once finished, do another if you feel up to it. It can be daunting when it’s a huge task but achieving little bits still adds up and quite often a few successful drawers etc gives you the momentum to keep going.

As I’m going through, I think about how things will
be used in the future - if it’s not clear or frequent it goes. I also try to imagine how happy someone will be to find it in a charity shop. There’s no benefit to keeping things you bought but never used either, you’ve spent the money and cluttering your house doesn’t change that.

When you’ve finished, remove the bags of stuff from your house immediately. They don’t have to go to their new home but put them in the car boot if you have one. That way you’re not tempted to take things out!

I always have a bag on the go for the charity shop now too so I can remove items as I find them and think we don’t need this anymore.

We've started declutterring as we were similar to you and the main thing is to loose the sentimentality attached to things. I had to just throw stuff out even if it was bought by such and such a person for the DC or a Christmas present given to me or DH or whatever, I was barely able to clean as there was stuff everywhere. I had to be realistic about clothes. I was holding onto stuff that was unworn for years. I didn't bother trying to sell stuff I just wanted it gone. We did a ruthless playroom clear out on the last bank holiday and I can now go into that room and make it look decent in 5 mins. It had gone so bad I had a playroom so full of stuff no one could actually use the room which was utterly ridiculous and I was mortified. Do one thing at a time. Start on your wardrobe. Honestly once the clutter is gone you honestly won't miss it.

Pick one hot spot to declutter, top of a chest of drawers or box etc and go through it. Throw away, donate or put away.

Go back to it if clutter reappears and set a deadline for the clearing of that area. For example I had an art table... really a pile of stuff... I decided I would go through by the end of the month. It took me every weekend to get it clear and in the end I moved the table.

I have done loads of decluttering just by doggedly tackling an area of annoyance. I still have loads to go through but the main super irritating areas have been dealt with.

Also don't bring in new stuff!

First have an exit plan.
Do NOT "declutter" and end up having massive bags of stuff everywhere, that will not help. Decide first where and what you do with things.

Bin (book the tip now if you need to book a slot)
charity shop (when, how?)
sell (where do you store unti it's sold)

Start with kitchen or living room, one drawer at a time. Be ruthtless.

After you have declutter, go with the "one in, one out". For every single new item you bring in the house, you MUST get rid of at least one, or 2.

with kids toys get stuff to the charity shop before they grab it back out of the bag.

I just want to disagree with this advice, as a child whose mother ‘declutterred’ the majority of my childhood toys. There were some real favourites that were dear to me that no, I didn’t play with any more, but they held a place in my heart.

If you must declutter toys, help them make the decision themselves. Provide a box or a shelf or whatever that the toys must fit into, and how the children fill the space is up to them. Yes it will take much longer and there may be tears, but I personally think it is better this way.

You can either go room by room - in which case I would start with the living room so you have a nice clear, calm space to sit in and shut the doors on everything else while you get round to tackling them in order. Alternatively you can look at categories of stuff around the house. I would start with clothing - which doesn't tend to have any sentimental attachment then break it down into sub-categories, so start with coats for example. Get every coat in the house into a pile then work through it systematically - start with anything that doesn't fit, is worn out, you have duplicates of. Decide what you are keeping and then get the rest out of the house ASAP - charity shop or clothing bin. Then do the same with other categories. Don't keep any more than you have room to store. Apply the same principle to books, dvds, bathroom potions and cosmetics, kitchen paraphernalia - even food in your cupboards. If you really want to sell stuff then do a car boot sale - but price everything to sell and don't bring anything home with you. It can be fun, but you need to set yourself the challenge of getting rid of everything rather than going all Apprentice and holding out for the top price.

You might find these links helpful - you can get shot of stuff without even leaving the house!

https://www.icollectclothes.co.uk

https://anglodoorstepcollections.co.uk

https://olioapp.com/en/

If you are messy as well as cluttered, the one bit at a time approach doesn’t work because you need to reorganise as well as declutter.

In this situation, I take everything that is in the wrong place, and put it on the bed / sofa / table. Then go through the pile and put the things in the right place. Anything left that doesn’t have a proper home gets given one, or thrown out. Then when everything is where it is supposed to be, you can start to chuck stuff away.

Don’t do the chucking before the organising, or you might end up throwing useful or sentimental stuff away because it’s ‘in the way’ (i.e. has recently been used) and keeping loads of junk that is hidden away unused in a cupboard (this is my mother’s approach, and it sucks).

Last year was a big declutter year. The kids had grown out of all their toys, as well as their clothes. Plus all mine and my husbands stuff had got a bit out of control!

So my approach (as not time rich) was get rid of a minimum of 1 bin bag of stuff a week. It might be to charity, or tip or whatever. But minimum of 1 bag. Most times I managed 2 or 3 - but didn't want to set myself a too high target!

Took time, but house much better now. Although I do need to tackle the cupboard under the stairs again...

I think I also struggle because I have badly stored a lot of stuff and now I don't know what to do with it - example an old pram that's been left in outside building and is now filthy and mouldy. Realistically I won't clean it, I won't be able to sell it and I should just dump it but it feels like such a waste!! I end up stressing before I've even started. This is just one example I have loads of things that I can't make decisions on. Clothes I haven't worn in years but still think I should keep hold of 'in case'. So stupid.

But yes room by room, slowly but surely is the way.

Start with storage spaces, like cupboards and drawers. Clear them on unneeded stuff first so you places to put things when you declutter other places

Around here, you can just leave stuff in front of the house, and people pick it up.

Or join local facebook groups for free stuff. Only if you can leave everything outside, free groups are full of time wasters and CF otherwise.

If no one wants your old pram after a week or so, take it to the tip.

And repeat.

Get rid of the clothes. There's a reason why you haven't worn them. They are stopping you from seeing the clothes you WOULD wear because they are hidden under stuff.

If you think you will struggle letting things go, read Marie Kondo. I don’t know how but that book completely reprogrammed my brain when it comes to possessions!

That’s a mindset thing though.

im similar and I hate the thought of wasting things but iv had to give myself a hard shake emotionally speaking and look at the reality of things rather than the way I’d like it to be. I think it’s similar but to a very small scale thinking like a hoarder would think. I can’t just throw it out it could be useful

the pram you know the truth is you won’t clean it and even if you do would you really want a parent putting their child in it knowing it had been covered in mould and stuck in an outbuilding covered in filth?

I know it doesn’t sit well, it doesn’t with me either but the truth of some of the things in your house will never be sorted by you into a useful condition again it’s more likely to be for example
I will never sew that hole in that dress
or clean that pram
or fix that toy
or wash that rug
or fix that electrical item
so that means the truth is the items are only ever going to be for the bin!

once you get tough enough with yourself enough to believe that then you can make realistic decisions about how you’re going to deal with them.

im not there yet either but I’m trying really hard! Iv started with smaller less emotional things and I’m working up to bigger more important stuff.

as others have said though start in small chunks even if it’s
sort out a bag of clothing for charity but doing it on a day you know you will take it to charity that week rather than doing it and a month later the bag is still sitting on the floor.
ten minutes in a drawer one day
a single shelf another
one box in a cupboard
knowing you have three or 4 items that definitely need to be taken to the tip so you do that rather than telling yourself il go to the tip once iv cleared xyz then take it all together because if you think like that then the stuff stays in the house until you do and you know there’s a chance you might not actually get round to clearing xyz anytime soon!

Be ruthless and get a skip.

I'm in the midst of the same OP. H and I have split and he's now moved out leaving his shit he doesn't want behind on top of the 20 odd years of combined accumulation. I agree with advice already given and for me it's about being ruthless too. I'm recycling and donating where I can but also having to accept that some is just junk and needs to be binned. I think starting with cupboards is good as it gives you the space to put away stuff you want to keep.

I've booked a trip to the tip every week and I'm taking a few bags of stuff every time. They also have places to donate clothes, books and toys etc which is helping.

Plus our local WhatsApp group is good for giving things away locally.

I'm very much at the beginning and dreading starting on the small spare room which is completely stuffed full but I'm hoping that having a nicer environment in the rest of the house (when I get there) will help motivate for the final push.