Declutterring tips

[funnybones23]

I wonder if anyone could offer tips. My house is full of shit. Clothes bursting out of wardrobes that haven't been worn in years, kids toys and books they've grown out of, make up bags full of old cosmetics, drawers full of manuals and letters, sheds full of god knows what. It's utterly overwhelming. Everything is just a mess and I don't know where to begin. There's so much that needs throwing out but there's also a lot that could be donated or sold. It's just draining me to even think about tackling it all.
Equally I can't carry on living like this and accumulating more stuff. We moved into a much bigger house last year and I thought it would help things but if anything we now just seem to more stuff!

Get a skip.

I'm currently decluttering my house and I have found these helpful tips.

1. Note where your local clothing bin is. Once you have a bag ready put it straight in your boot. Drop off as and when about.

1. Check if your council have clothing or electrical equipment pick up. Mine do this with food waste bin every week.

1. Basket system to organise keep items as much as possible and keep black bag ready for chucking or donating.

1. Download Olio.

Hope that might help.

Don't get sucked into trying to sell anything other than high value items that are new or in very good condition. The money has already been spent. Something that really stuck with me was, think about how much you are paying for your rent/mortgage. Our houses are the most expensive things we have, do you want all that money going on somewhere you can enjoy and relax, or on storage for broken baby toys and old paperwork? This really helped motivate me to get rid of things even if they could theoretically be sold.

I recommend a slow declutter. Pick one area and sort e.g. a single cupboard. Something you can finish going through in the time you have available that day. Donate, throw or sell everything you want to get rid of before you move on to the next area. With selling I have a rule that if nobody wants it after a week and posting on a couple of local groups then it goes to the donate pile.

Put stuff at the front gate/end of the drive with "please help yourself " sign.
Get the kids to do a yard sale.
Advertise stuff as "projects ". Eg half painted chairs.
Find out if a local scrap metal merchant can take stuff.

Sell clothes via a "cash for clothes " place.

This is a great idea. 👏🏼

My original intention was a skip but discovered (in my area anyway) that there a lot of things you cant put in e.g mattresses. It also ties you to doing everything in the short period of time you have it for (which could be a good thing) unless you have somewhere you can store everything in the meantime. The other plan was to gather everything together and hire a van for a day and do trips to the tip that way but I'm not comfortable with driving a van and DH has opted out. He has said he'll come back to help with a big declutter, but i'll take that with a pinch of salt and not sure I'd want him to anymore anyway. Simply taking the stuff he didn't want to the tip himself might have been a help but I'm past pulling him up on his shit and I'll just do it myself, as per usual.

Honestly it's rather a lovely feeling when stuff has gone. I've just cleared out a load of just in case clothes from a wardrobe. Honestly I've not thought about any of them since (bags straight to charity shop) and I'm loving being able to see in the wardrobe.

I tried stuff on and was fairly quick about keep, bin, charity choices. If it didn't fit I didn't keep it, if it was faded or needed repaired straight to bin (well rags bin at the tip) and stuff I liked and looked good in - I kept.

I had to recognise I didn't need 4 pairs of old leggings for painting or gardening in...

Broken stuff, bin or if not very broken, leave in recycle bit in tip.

Strict one in one out policy.

You’ve had lots of good advice. For things that aren’t in good condition, round here they go on Facebook marketplace advertised as “for parts” and people will generally take nearly anything.

Is there a baby bank near you? The mouldy pram fabric might be wrecked, but they may take the chassis - it’s cheaper for them get a new seat than a whole new pram. Obviously be upfront about the quality - one near us only wants whole, ready to go items. The other has a bigger warehouse so are happy to take things that they can add to/fix before passing on.

I really rate Dana White's book Decluttering at the Speed of Life for advice.

A brief summary from memory of useful bits:

Treat boxes/containers, etc as 'limits' - if you have a scarf holder that holds 10 scarfs then that's the limit of scarves you can keep.

Declutter somewhere visible first - don't start with a drawer that you will never see the inside of afterwards, declutter where it will make a difference as this will keep your motivation going.

When you pick something up, ask yourself where you would search for it and put it there. If you would always use something else (like how i use a knife to cut garlic and never use the garlic press) get rid of that object - you do not need it if you do not use it.

Focus on what you are gaining by having that space back.

As others have said have a box or two per room where you can just drop items in 'for charity' or 'for bin'. Only plan to sell things if you actually will - otherwise you are just moving the clutter. It may help to set a specific time to list things for sale.

Tackle eg the random drawer of crap. Trying to decide what to throw out is time consuming and negative.
Instead empty the contents say "everything is going out". Then make a postive decision on what goes back in. Pick over the contents and eventually you'll get to the Enough point. Bin the rest.

I second what @Thamantha said, this book has been life changing for me! I had credits left on Audible and bought "Decluttering at the speed of life" as well as her other book "How to manage your home without losing your mind" and they're hands down the best books I've ever bought on there. I listened to them whilst sorting some easy housework.

Start with visible bits, as the results of your efforts will make you want to keep going. I've done my entry hallway and kitchen as I spend a lot of time in there (only started last week).

Honestly, I can't stop thinking about decluttering now, and her advice has made it so much easier for me! It stops you from pulling everything out for a big decluttering session and then becoming too overwhelmed to start it, and/or finish the job.

At one stage in my career, my classroom had to be completely emptied; it was completely remodelled, new rooms were added, and we all decamped to temporary classrooms onsite.
We were given containers into which we could put everything which was to go into storage for a year. The school trusted us enough to say. "Ask for as many as you really need, but bear in mind that each container will cost us a pound."
It certainly concentrated the mind as I tackled it, one cupboard at a time. Not only my own "it might come in useful", but that of previous colleagues who had taught in that room! If you think of space as having its own value, you judge more decisively.
The stuff I really needed stayed out in use, obviously.
When the time came to move back into my renovated classroom, it was also interesting to see how much I realised that things that had been out of sight for a year hadn't really been missed.
But I sympathise; I still find it hard to part with things.

I am like you OP about things being too good to dump, like the pram, but unfortunately storing it makes it deteriorate. Having done massive clearouts of houses twice, and in throes of a third, I'd just add to all the good advice on here about little and often and three boxes for keep, donate, throw, and don't bother with selling unless its something spectacular or valuable, etc: - Sort into categories. Things often fall into them naturally, but it means that eventually all similar things can be kept together in one place and feel organised. Things like sentimental - cards, letters. etc, travel and holiday info, maps and books, phone bits and chargers. health info and medical, etc etc. whatever feels like a category that makes sense to you. Good luck, its so freeing and great when its done.

Plus, it's not much but I'm trying to take at least one item for the bin out of a room everytime I go into it. So basically never leave empty handed even if it's an out of date cosmetic, a cardboard toilet roll bit, an odd sock etc. I'm sure it will all add up and might foster better habits going forward.

Can you get a skip? I'd cut my losses and just bin as much as you can. You are putting extra work on yourself trying to sell/drop to charity

I'd agree with @MintTwirl 3 bags idea! That's how I have a general clear out! Works a treat! 🌻

You can suffer from ‘analysis paralysis’ - like you, I hate waste but finding the right ‘home’ for everything holds you back and is exhausting.

firstly, don’t focus on what to get rid of, focus on what to keep. Questions I ask myself: do you love it? Does it work? Do you use it? Did you know it was there? Would you have been able to find it if you needed it? Do you really need two (or more!) of these.

if you genuinely want to declutter, don’t hold yourself back by debates about getting stuff fixed, selling etc. As others have said, the money was spent when you bought it so whatever you do now doesn’t alter that. Keeping something you dislike/that is damaged or not useful is no good for anyone.

Marie Kondo isn’t for everyone but it was genuinely life-changing for me. I’m not a minimalist but have simplified my life immensely. Cleaning is so much easier without bags, boxes and piles on the floor. I’m better dressed because I only have clothes I love and that work together, and so on.

my top tip - put the charity bag straight into the boot of the car, assuming you have one. That way it’s out of sight and you’ll be ready to drop it off next time you’re out.

I'd start with the kitchen, that way you get to reap the rewards of an organised space multiple times a day!
As someone who has already decluttered her home & life I hear by give you full permission to 'just get it out'
You will feel FAB, I promise OP x

Go and grab a bin bag now, do one room of stuff for charity.
You'll be amazed at how much you can get clear in just 15mins.

If you have ADHD (or even if not) “body doubling” can help focus. So have someone in the room with you, they don’t have to help you - they can sit and drink tea and chat - but somehow that extra presence really helps you focus and stay motivated. It works for me when putting washing away (which I hate)

Wow, is that an ADHD thing? I ask people to do this all the time!

I always have one bin bag on the go for the charity shop. Child's top too small? Straight in there, not back in drawer. When it gets full, I take it to the charity shop. Usually once a month or so. It doesn't seem much but it's certainly starting to help.

School have also asked for donations of good quality toys for the Fete- I'm setting aside a good hour to go through stuff with the kids and I'm taking another bin bag to the school

We got a skip for a major shed declutter but found they wouldn't take certain things (paint pots was one but there was quite a long list) It also puts a lot of pressure on to do it quickly and is expensive. I'd suggest checking their terms and conditions carefully before getting a skip.

Another endorsement for the live changing effects of Marie Kondo’s The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It was so helpful and one of the most positive things I’ve done.

She talks about a “festival of tidying” ie making a big event of it. Having tried various little at a time methods, I think this was what made the difference for me (I have ADHD). I started with the clothing category, as she recommends, and did it in one massive burst. The huge transformation of my space and feeling of accomplishment gave me such a boost that I couldn’t wait to get to the next categories.

When it was a huge trend, some people who’d not read the book liked to criticise Marie Kondo for allegedly saying you can only have 30 books, or that you had to embrace minimalism – but that is a total misrepresentation of the method. It is about living your life surrounded by things YOU love, whether that’s 3,000 books or one e-reader.

You need to read the life changing magic of tidying by Marie Kondo. Start with clothes.