Hello
So my dd has had a male best friend (let's call him Dave) since beginning of primary school. They are now in secondary school and have remained friends but not best friends.
We have spent lots of time with this family over the years and it's all been great. Dd and Dave were always round at each other's houses and spent lots of time together. Dd has other friends but Dave does struggle with this and can be quite isolated.
A few months ago dd told me Dave had told her he likes her more than friends and she had told him she doesn't feel the same. They are only still early secondary for info. Dd is not into boys yet. Well apart from pop stars.
Dave's mum invited us round a short while after that and dd asked me to make an excuse not to go. I found this odd as dd would normally like going to see Dave. I asked dd to be honest with me as I had noticed she was more distant with Dave recently. Dd said Dave had been saying that he liked her and talking about thinking about her a lot, even at night and how he can imagine them being together etc this happened a few times after she made it clear this is not what she wanted. I advised dd that she did the right thing distancing herself as it made her uncomfortable. I then made an excuse to Dave's mum.
Since then Dave's mum has invited us round or to meet at places a few times and I have made more excuses but I think she is getting a bit suspicious.
Last week dd and a female friend were laughing about what some of the boys at school say to girls. I was with them so they were not hiding this. Female friend then said to dd "can't believe what Dave said to you urrrghhh". I asked what it was and dd laughed and female friend said "I can't tell you but it's not appropriate trust me" then laughed. I did push a little bit but left it alone as I didn't want to upset dd. I did have a hard word about boys making them uncomfortable and to be confident in telling them to stop and telling an adult and so on.
Me and a few friends, including Dave's mum, are due to go on a weekend away soon and I think that dd being distant and the excuses may come up. I'm not very good at being honest in such situations and hate conflict. I'm a people pleaser to my own detriment and it stems from childhood trauma but that's a different story. However, I need my dd to know I have her back and il always protect her. Plus I feel like I need to show her we as women should be confident to challenge this sort of behaviour. When she has made it clear this behaviour is unwanted I want her to be able to tell the person to stop unapologetically. I can't even do it so it's a big ask.
I really like Dave's mum but I don't think the truth will go down well and I know she has enough rubbish going on in her life and our friendship is important to us both.
What would you all do in this situation.
Aibu to keep making excuses and hope she stops asking us to spend time together.